Page 27 of Filthy Rich Santas

But it’s also washing away some of that lovely, happy feeling and turning me a little melancholy.

“You left your meeting early for me,” I murmur drunkenly as it hits me, looking at the three of them. They’re all here in my room taking care of me instead of doing the business they said was so important. “I’m sorry.”

“Don’t be.” Beckett gives me an intense look. “It’s fine.”

I sigh. “I just wanted to have a little fun. Go out and be the new me.”

Beckett’s eyebrows shoot up, but it’s Ryder who asks, “Who’s the new you?”

I shrug. “I don’t know. That’s what I’m trying to find out. I just know that I’ve been trying to reinvent myself ever since Wade and I broke up. Shake off other people’s expectations and figure out what myownare. What I really like. Who I actually want to be.”

“And who you want to be is someone who gets groped by strangers?” Beckett asks, glaring a little.

I stick my tongue out at him, and Ryder snickers.

Tristan elbows Beckett in the ribs. “I think that sounds pretty fucking healthy, to be honest, Lana. But just so you know, who you already are is pretty fucking great.”

I blink up at him, swaying a little. “Really?”

He gives me a small smile, brushing a strand of my hair off my cheek. “Really.”

“Thank you. I just… I feel stuck? I wantmore.”

“More what?” Beckett asks, crossing his arms over his chest as his eyes narrow a little.

I wave a hand vaguely, knowing I’m oversharing but unable to stop it after all the cocktails I had. “More… everything! More excitement! I want to know what kink is like! I want to know whatgoodsex is like, because honestly, with Wade…”

I bite my tongue, not finishing that thought.

But all three men are staring at me now with undivided focus, and it’s as if their gazes pull the truth right out of me.

“I just want to explore,” I admit, plopping down on the edge of my bed and looking up at them. “It’s why I went to Radiance. It wasn’t a mistake, you know,” I add in a whisper. “I knew it was your club. I picked it on purpose.”

Beckett frowns. “You wanted us to see you getting hit on by other men?”

I shake my head. I can’t tell if I’m blushing or if I’m just flushed from drinking. “No, I wanted…”

Them.

Any of them.Allof them.

My breath hitches, and a thick heat pools in my core as I look up at the three men who’ve starred in so many of my secret fantasies.

It’s a truth I’d be a fool to admit. Even drunk, I know that. But the loaded silence as they loom over me, all three of them staring down at me like I’m a puzzle they’re just now starting to piece together, makes me think that even without saying the words out loud, I just admitted to something I didn’t mean to.

I groan, flopping backward on the bed. “Ugh. I should’ve stopped after the first Cosmo.”

Tristan’s lips tilt up, and he leans down, brushing my hair back and pressing a chaste kiss to my forehead. “It’s okay. Get some sleep. You’re allowed to have a little fun.”

“Not with strangers,” Beckett grunts under his breath, sliding off my boots and then pulling the blanket over me.

I close my eyes, sleep starting to tug me under. I can hear them murmuring quietly to each other, and then the gentle click of my door as they leave.

And then I’m out.

7

LANA

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