Page 160 of Filthy Rich Santas

“We noticed that yesterday.” Tristan’s eyes gleam behind his glasses.

I blush but can’t help smiling. “I enjoyed it.”

His eyes soften. “I’m glad.”

Ryder chuckles. “Is ‘enjoying it’ what we’re calling all that sexy whining and begging you were doing on the road yesterday?”

He means when they were edging me to death, while I was wearing the butt plug. Which means…

“Wait. Did you buy those hats at a sex shop?” I burst out, half scandalized and half amused.

He waggles his brows. “A gentleman never reveals his secrets.”

“Good thing none of us are gentlemen,” Beckett mutters under his breath, his eyes heated as they roam over me.

I bite my lip. I couldn’t agree more.

But that doesn’t mean we have time to linger in bed this morning. Especially not with the three of them insisting I eat a proper breakfast and stay well-hydrated before we leave.

As much as I love the sex we’ve been having, I don’t even mind. The care they’re taking with me warms my heart in ways I wasn’t prepared for, and by the time we hit the road, they’re not the only ones in good spirits.

Once we’re on the highway, a festive energy takes over the car. We sing along—badly—to Christmas carols, swap embarrassing stories, and play ridiculous road trip games. Unlike the sexy edging from yesterday, it’s innocent fun.

But it’s also everything I could have hoped for on this last leg of our journey. I’ve gotten so much closer to all of them on this trip, and even if we can’t continue the carnal side of our relationship, it feels like a reminder that this, at least, is something that doesn’t have to go away.

Although the high-spirited banter is more than just a reminder. It’s something they’re doing on purpose, and I know it.

None of us want to dwell on the fact that in a few short hours, this magical bubble we’ve been living in will pop. I had enough wallowing in disappointment this morning, though. Right now, I want to soak up every last second of laughter, every casual touch, every inside joke before we have to part ways.

So much has changed in such a short period of time. These men used to be Caleb’s friends, people I knew in passing. Sure, I had huge crushes on them for years, but never with any hope of anything coming of it.

But now I know the taste of Ryder’s skin, the sound Tristan makes when he comes, the feeling of Beckett’s arms around me. I know their hopes and fears, their quirks and passions, and they know so many of mine.

I’ve got no doubt that they’ll stay in touch, but they’ll also be moving out of L.A. soon. They’ll be busy with their new club. They’ll think of me fondly—or at least, I hope they will—but it won’t be the same.

And I’m going to miss them so fucking much.

The realization crashes over me as we turn off the highway onto a quiet stretch of road. My parents’ house is maybe thirty minutes away now, and suddenly, I can’t breathe.

“Ryder,” I say, my voice choked as I interrupt a funny story he’s telling. “Stop the car.”

He glances at me in the rearview mirror, concern etching his features. “You okay, love?”

“Please,” I whisper. “Just… stop the car.”

Without another word, he pulls over onto the shoulder. The second we’re stopped, I’m fumbling with my seat belt. I stumble out of the car, gulping in deep breaths of the crisp winter air.

“Lana?” Tristan’s voice is gentle as he approaches. “What’s wrong?”

I turn to face them, all three now out of the car and watching me with worried expressions. My heart clenches.

“I’m okay,” I say quickly, holding up a hand. “Physically, I mean. This isn’t about my lupus. I just… I needed a moment.”

They exchange glances, clearly unconvinced, but give me space. I take a deep breath, gathering my courage for what I need to say.

“This trip,” I begin, my voice shaky. “It’s meant so much to me. More than I can possibly express. I know the three of you agreed to help me explore kink, but I feel like it turned into so much more than that. I feel like I’ve found a part of myself I didn’t even know was missing.”

Dragging in a deep breath, I look at each of them in turn.

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