“She means something to you,” he says, dropping the shit stirring act and laying it out there plain and simple.
And fuck, hearing it like that makes my heart twist.
“Yeah.” I clear my throat. “To all three of us.”
Dustin waits a beat, then leans in. “But…?”
I let out a heavy sigh, running a hand through my hair. “But it’s too fucking complicated, man. She’s Caleb’s sister, for one thing. No way would he be pleased to know what went on here tonight.”
“Good thing he’s not here then.”
I glare at him, but the understanding look on his face makes me drop it. The truth is, I do need to unload this shit, and while my usual go-to for anything deep like this would be one of the men down the hall, I’m not going to bring it up with them when I can tell we’re all struggling with something similar.
They’re too close to it, but Dustin isn’t.
“Even if that wasn’t the case, she’s settled in L.A. We haven’t finalized the city for the new club, but we’re down to three contenders and are just a few months away from making the move.”
Dustin nods, but stays quiet as I drain the water glass, then pour another, really fucking wishing it was whiskey right now.
“Plus, she wants kids,” I say, slamming the empty glass down on the table a little too hard. “I don’t. Never have, and that’s a fucking understatement. I’d be a shit father. Besides, what would it even look like? All four of us in a relationship?” I snort, shaking my head. “Fucking, doing a few scenes, sharing a bed, that’s one thing. One very fucking temporary thing. But anything beyond that would get…”
I shake my head, a heavy weight settling on my chest.
Fuck, spilling all of that just worked me deeper into a funk, and that’s a goddamn travesty after the incredible high from the scene we just shared with Lana.
Dustin leans forward. “It would get what, Beck? If you tried to make it not so interesting, things would get… interesting?”
I narrow my eyes at him. “Complicated.”
The fuckerhmmsat me again, nodding as he holds my stare with an almost-smile on his face.
“What?” I demand.
Dustin just shrugs, that knowing look still in his eyes that kind of makes me want to punch him.
And also kind of makes me hope he has some amazing insight I’ve missed.
“Remember when I first met Carolyn?”
“‘Course I do. Fuck, that demo you two did together was hot.”
He strokes his chin, a predatory gleam appearing in his eyes. “Everything with that woman is hot.” Then he shakes it off, focusing on me again. “Too hot, I figured at the time. Convinced myself that trying to take that combustible chemistry between us out into the real world was a fucking recipe for disaster. Hell, there were a dozen reasons why we wouldn’t work. Our schedules alone made it fucking impossible, what with me primarily needing to work nights.”
I frown, not sure where he’s going with this. “You two are solid though, yeah?”
A look comes over his face that makes my heart clench again. “Oh, fuck yeah. She’s my forever.”
I knew that. Hell, anyone who’s ever seen them together knows that.
“I’m happy for you, man.”
He grins at me. “And I’m happy I pulled my head out of my ass. Once I did, it turned out, none of those reasons I talked myself around in the beginning ended up being as insurmountable as I first thought. Not once I got clear on my priorities.”
“Priorities?”
He gives me a look like I’m an idiot. “My priority is Carolyn. Full fucking stop.”
I don’t know what to do with that. I get what he’s saying when it comes to him and Carolyn. Like I said, I remember when they met. But this thing with Lana isn’t the same situation at all.