Page 1 of Filthy Rich Santas

1

LANA

My heart racesas I look around the club. Radiance is everything I expected an upscale sex club to be, and yet somehow, it’s still more than I imagined.

The decor is sleek and modern, but with a touch of sensuality and, in honor of the season, some tasteful holiday decor. Low music plays from hidden speakers, and there are couches and comfortable-looking chairs throughout the space, all dark red and brown leather. Some of them are so big and wide, they’re more like beds, a few sitting empty but most with people in various states of dress and undress lounging on them.

“And this is the tame part of the club,” I whisper to myself, a hot flush moving through me as I think of the introductory packet I was given after completing the lengthy vetting process.

There are other rooms here. Rooms with BDSM equipment, sex toys, and all sorts of sexy possibilities that have my stomach filling with jitterbugs. The thought of exploring further has me so nervous that my hands are sweating… but those nerves feel a lot like the thrill of excitement too.

“Two sides of the same coin,” I whisper to myself, knowing that no matter what happens tonight, I’m proud of myself for making it this far.

I’m ready to explore some new sides of myself, and if not now, when? And if I deliberately pickedthisclub to start doing some of that exploration at, well, I won’t get my hopes up. But that doesn’t mean I can’t stay open to possibilities, right?

I head toward the bar, telling myself firmly that I’m not keeping an eye out for the three men who own the place—my older brother’s best friends. After all, it’s one thing to stay open to possibilities, but it’s something else entirely to wish for impossible things.

I still need something to calm my nerves, though. And even though I know they don’t serve anything alcoholic here, having a glass of seltzer water in my hands will give me a little more of a sense of belonging. If nothing else, it should help me stop fiddling with the yellow wristband I chose when I arrived.

Which I’m doing again.

I force myself to drop my hand, biting my lip as I second guess whether I should have taken red instead. Yellow tells the other guests that I’m open to meeting them, but not ready to be outright propositioned. Red would have been a hard no on being asked to…doanything.

And green—well, no matter how interested I am in exploring the interests I’ve only recently admitted to myself that I have, I’m definitely not ready for green. In fact, the club rules about the wristband system are clear. They don’t even allow it for a first-timer like me, since I’m here on my own and not even a full member.

Which doesn’t mean I can’t still play if I find someone interested.

And, of course, find the courage to do it.

“First time here?” a deep, baritone voice asks from my left after I’ve placed my order for a seltzer water.

My heart jumps into my throat as I turn to him, then look up. He’s a little taller than my 5’6”, even with the extra few inches my heels give me tonight.

Not as tall as Beckett, Tristan, or Ryder, though.

Which, I remind myself firmly, isn’t relevant. I’m not here for them. And even if I was, it’s not like I really expect any one of them to suddenly decide I’m more than just my brother’s baby sister, just because I’m here.

The man who approaches me smiles, and the way he’s leaning against the varnished oak bar, letting his gaze lazily roam over me in a way that’s flattering but not sleazy, has a giddy, nervous laugh bubbling in my throat. Not just because he’s attractive, although he is, but because even if my hidden desires about what might come of showing up here aren’t likely to come true, I’m still following through with my commitment to start exploring who I really want to be.

I’m really here, and I’ve actually captured someone’s attention.

“Yes,” I admit to the guy, knowing my pale skin is probably showing my feelings the way it always does as I feel a blush heat my cheeks. “It’s my first time.”

My pulse starts to race as he starts to make small talk, his gaze pausing for a moment on my yellow wristband before respectfully coming back up to my eyes.

“I take it it’s notyourfirst time, though?” I say, daring to be flirtatious even though it has my stomach feeling jittery again.

His eyes dart down to my wristband again. “That’s right,” he says as the bartender returns and slides my seltzer water over to me.

I pick it up gratefully, taking a long sip, and remind myself that I’m here to explore things. To be bold. To finally learn what it is to be the person I want to be.

And even if I don’t end up doing any of that with this particular man, his obvious interest definitely helps drown out the ugly voices in my head that I had to overcome just to walk through Radiance’s doors tonight. The voices that sound an awful lot like my parents’, and constantly remind me of all the ways I don’t live up to conventional beauty standards.

All the freckles.

My generous curves.

The million and one imperfections that have been pointed out to me all of my life… and of course the new one that, thankfully, isn’t outwardly visible.

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