Emma slowly shook her head. “It’s still not clicking for me.”
Exasperation welled up inside of her, dragging out the words she’d never spoken aloud. “Because before that, Sutton and I used to hang out, likeallof the time. We watched our shows together – which wasgreat, because watching reality TV by myself just isn’t much fun. In fairness, watching it with Sutton sometimes wasn’t the most fun, either, because she’s too nice to make bitchy or judgy commentary about people, but still. And we’d chat about life stuff, work, school, and – and, I mean, we still did after she met Charlotte. But it wasn’t the same,” she confessed, feeling that awful, restless, lonely feeling that she tried to stave off when she started thinking aboutthis.
“On my nights off, when Sutton and I would normally hang out, she was with Charlotte more than half the time. And they’d spend the night at Charlotte’s place. And I’mgladshe has Charlotte,” she added quickly, not wanting Emma to get the wrong idea. Because it was true. She wanted her best friend to find happiness; she wanted Sutton to love and be loved, and Charlotte was really shaping up.
Only… she deflated, sighing to herself. “I guess I just never thought about how much would change for me when Sutton wasn’t around all the time. Suddenly, I had nothing to do during all of these nights and weekends that I used to hang out with Sutton. So, I started baking more. Branching out from thenormal, basic recipes I’ve used in the past and just… started doing what felt right. Having fun with it.”
There had been a lot of trial and error in the first couple of months. Some flavor combinations hadn’t worked the way Regan thought they would, or adjustments she didn’t correctly account for.
But she’d found that the more she baked her own creations, the more she’d enjoyed it. Even if the apartment was empty and her relationship with Sutton – the most solid thing in her life – was changing so rapidly, baking made their apartment feel… full. Warm. Like a home.
She didn’t know what she’d find when she lifted her gaze to Emma’s after that full-on word vomit. But she was met with something thoughtful. Softer than she’d expected.
It was a look she found far more comforting than she’d imagined because she felt like Emmaunderstoodher in this moment.
She paused, heart beating quickly, wondering what exactly Emma might say. Hoping more now than at any point earlier in the day that this wouldn’t be the moment Emma turned grumpy or dismissive.
“Well, if you want to spend our night of bonding watching reality television, I’ll do it with you. And I promise you that I’m certain Iwillhave bitchy and judgy commentary,” Emma offered.
Both shocked by the offer and delighted with it, Regan’s mouth fell open. “Really?”
“You don’t think I can come through with colorful commentary?”
She laughed, shaking her head. “No, onthatend, I think you will do really well. I just mean – I didn’t expect the offer, is all.”
She really hadn’t anticipated that Emma would listen – really listen – to her long ramble and focus on the heart of it. ThatRegan missed having someone, especially the person she lived with, to do day-to-day things with, like watch TV. That she’d felt that way even before Sutton had left. And she certainly hadn’t expected Emma to make the offer.
“Well, itisbonding day.”
“True. Though, I’d initially planned for us to do karaoke together for our bonding evening.” She didn’t miss the way Emma blanched. “But that is a great substitute.”
“Good, because karaoke isnotmy thing.”
Regan’s mouth fell open in mock surprise. “You don’t say!”
It was half the reason she even wanted to do it with Emma. The first half was because Regan really enjoyed karaoke–the camaraderie feeling, putting on a show. The second part was because she really wondered what Emma would be like when pushed a little bit out of her comfort zone. Or even if she’d allow herself to be pushed out of her comfort zone.
“I’ll get you to my favorite karaoke night at some point,” Regan asserted.
Emmapfft’d. “You sound really sure of yourself about that.” She pointed to herself. “Stubborn, remember?”
Regan pointed to herself. “Doesn’t know when to stop, remember?”
“Looks like we have a realwhat happens when an unstoppable force meets an unmovable objectsituation on our hands,” Emma mused.
“The force wears the object down,” Regan answered easily. “It’s called erosion.”
As the timer on the oven started to go off, Emma turned away from her and reached for an oven mitt. As she did, she quietly asked, “What in the world did I get myself into?”
But her tone was amused, no trace of irritation in sight.
Which delighted Regan down to her very bones. Because Emma clearly didn’t realize that she was a lot more movable than she’d thought.
And Regan would be quite happy to help her find out.
nine
Regan Freaking Gallagher – 2:33 PM