Page 48 of The Snowball Effect

Because if there was one thing she knew to be certain about Sutton Spencer, it was that she deeply loved Regan Gallagher.

Something told Emma that while Sutton was casually dismissive/exasperated by her and Regan’s usual bickering, she wasn’t going to be pleased with Emma truly hurting Regan’s feelings. And she found that she didn’t want Sutton to be upset with her.

Something in her silence seemed to alarm Sutton. She took a sharp breath, all hint of light-heartedness falling away as she asked, “Is Regan okay?”

Emma pulled the phone away from her ear, staring at it incredulously. There was no way Sutton had heard her thoughts, right?

Or – more likely – Regan had already informed Sutton that this situation wasn’t going well, and Sutton was asking this as a way to get Emma talking.

Before she could explain herself, Sutton was speaking again, her words tumbling quickly out of her mouth. “God, I’ve just been so busy this week, so I haven’t even had time to think about it, but she hasn’t called me in days! Not since last weekend. Emma, is she okay?”Sutton repeated, even more concerned than she’d been a minute ago.

Regan hadn’t even called Sutton this week?! Fuck, if Emma needed further confirmation that she’d well and truly hurt Regan, there it was.

And, as she let out a defeated breath, she slumped in her bed. It didnotfeel good. Kicked puppy, to the max.

Still, “She’s fine,” she assured. Before doubt edged in, and she bit her bottom lip. “Physically, that is.”

Sutton’s worry clearly receded, “Whew. Okay. Good.” There was only a moment’s pause before she followed up. “Wait.Physically?”

Emma winced. “Yeah…”

Even though everything inside her did not want to tell Sutton what had played out between them, she did. She left out the fake dating part because she hadn’t been exaggerating to Regan when she’d said the fewer people that knew about that humiliating lie, the better.

After relaying the events from earlier this week, she waited with her stomach tied in nerves.

For several beats, Sutton was quiet, and it was far from a companionable silence.

“I see.” Was all Sutton said when she did speak.

Even though it was literally only two syllables, Emma realized that was all she needed to hear Sutton’s anger. Because Sutton was not quick to anger – in fact, she wasn’t sure she’d ever seen or heard Sutton trulymad.

It was even more jarring when she realized Sutton’s newfound anger was directed ather. “I didn’t mean it the way she took it,” she defended, feeling unbelievably lame.

Sutton was quiet for several more beats before she drew in a long breath and then let it slowly out. “I don’t believe you wouldn’t intentionally be mean,” she allowed, and Emma was so grateful that the heat in her tone had cooled.

“But… Emma, Regan is my best friend,” Sutton stated, her voice low and serious.

“I know,” Emma agreed in confusion. Of course she knew that, though. Everyone with eyes knew that.

“Regan is my best friend,” Sutton repeated intently. “I want you to think about that for a second. Because I know she can be… a lot,” she settled on. “But, if you respect and trust me, I hope you understand that I would have never been Regan’s best friend for two decades if she wasn’t a good person. Maybe even thebestperson.”

All right, Emma most definitely wasn’t going to agree that Regan wasthe best personshe knew, but that didn’t mean that Sutton’s words weren’t twisting the knife in her stomach even deeper.

Ugh. Because somewhere inside, even when she was incredibly annoyed at Regan, she knew that Sutton was speaking the truth.

“I know,” she quietly admitted.

And maybe that was why she’d been feeling so terrible, she realized, feeling that weight bearing down on her.

Because while shehadbeen telling the truth and merely stating the facts about their interactions from her perspectivethe other night, she knew that Regan wasn’t wrong. She’d known if she was forced to admit it to herself, that very night after Regan had quietly leveled with her, that she’d been so focused on her own tunnel vision, she’d deliberately never looked at anything from Regan’s point of view.

Deep down, sheknewRegan was never intentionally causing her harm.

She knew that Regan hadn’t meant to spill the coffee on her the first time they’d met. She knew Regan hadn’t intentionally broken her grandmother’s hummingbirds. She definitely knew that Regan hadn’t meant to send her to the hospital with her almond flour.

Regan was, at her core, someone who constantlytried. Just like she’d said. Every time something went disastrously wrong between them, it was because Regan was trying to do something kind. Trying to make her dinner, trying to help her move. Trying to “save Emma from third-degree burns” or whatever Regan had thought was happening with the coffee.

And now… now that Regan was actively refusing to let Emma smooth things over and move on, she’d had to spend days reckoning with the ugly truth that Regan was right.

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