Page 158 of The Snowball Effect

Taken aback, Emma felt the remainder of whatever she’d been going to say completely disappear. She hadn’t known a comment like that would cut so deep, either, but she felt the sharpness of it inside of her. “Ah… okay.”

For a few awkward moments of silence, she wondered if she should just accept that. Eva was her own person; she had the right to feel however she felt.

Maybe, a couple of months ago, she would have left if alone.

But not now.

Because now, Emma felt the niggling need to push for more. It was a very different phenomenon for her, but she went with it.

“Can I ask why? What have I done to you?”

Because Emma was at a total loss. She wracked her brain, trying to think of anything she could have possibly–

“Nothing,” Eva spit back, heatedly. “You haven’t doneanything. You’ve never done anything to want to be a part of our family, and Momstillacts like you’re the center of the stupid universe.”

Shocked by the honesty, vitriol, and the words themselves, Emma could only stare across the table.

It seemed like all Eva had been waiting for was Emma to give her an opening. “You never came to visit us in Miami. You never came to any birthday parties or Christmases oranything. I looked in Mom’s Emma Box, and she invited you to everything we ever did! And you never came.”

“Her Emma Box?” She repeated, still trying to make some sense of this.

“Yeah. The box of everything aboutyouthat she keeps in her closet. And it includes little notes about every party and holiday and stuff that she’s invited you to, and why you said you couldn’t come,” Eva explained, glowering at Emma. “We moved here so she could be close to you, and you still didn’t even come over formonths! You don’t even care about our mom, and she still loves you the most!”

“That’s not true,” Emma immediately rejected the idea, reeling back as she shook her head. “She loves you and Everly more than anything; you have to know that.”

Eva’s bottom lip stuck out in a haughty pout as she sniffed angrily and angled her jaw up, and,wow.

Emma’s stomach twisted with a feeling she didn’t quite understand or recognize, but – this girl was her sister. That stubborn set of her jaw and the way her blue eyes glinted up at Emma with that attitude… Emma saw herself, there. She saw herself so clearly, it was startling.

“Fine,” Eva snapped. “She loves us. But – but did you know that we only have our names because of you?EvaandEverly. She told my dad that she wanted to have something that tied all of her kids together, and she’d already used her favorite name on you. So, she picked E names for us, too. Did you know that?” She insisted, clearly not intending for the question to be rhetorical.

Emma blinked back, her stomach twisting in knots with the information. “I didn’t,” she admitted, quietly.

“And it’s not even just Mom!” Eva hit the palm of her hand against the table, clearly worked up. “Gram also thinks you’re perfect. She’smygram, too, but she loves you the most. And you don’t – you don’t evencare.”

Eva crossed her arms so tightly over herself, and Emma could tell she was holding herself together even as all of these clearly deep-seated feelings unraveled.

Emma had never once really seen herself reflected in her sisters in anything beyond the occasional physical resemblance, but she did right now. The pent-up frustration, the uncertain emotions flashing over Eva’s face. The certainty that she knew everything.

Emma really felt that resonating inside of her. Spiraling through her veins, as she stared in awe across the table. This girl – this stubborn, grumpy twelve-year-old girl – was hersister. She was a part of her, in a ways Emma hadn’t ever known they’d shared.

“I do care.” Emma’s voice was soft, and she’d never felt connected to Eva before in any way, but right now, she did.

Sitting here, with a board game about fake lives between them, she understood her little sister.

She didn’t agree with her, but… life reallywasall a matter of perspective. And Emma didn’t know if that had ever been more apparent to her than right now.

Other than, maybe, with Regan.

“I do care about you, and Everly. And our mom. And I care – a lot – about what Gram thinks about me.” Emma reached up, scrubbing her hand over her face, as she tried to work through everything in her mind. As she tried to figure out how to sort out the complicated feelings inside of her. As she tried to figure out what made sense to discuss with her much younger sister, and what wasn’t appropriate.

Ultimately, though, Emma found herself shrugging, heavily.

“I’m just going to be real with you, Eva, because I don’t want to talk to you like you’re a baby, and I don’t know how else to say this, but – your relationship with our mom is very different than mine is.” There. That made sense.

Eva rolled her eyes back at her, but didn’t immediately shoot back a retort, so Emma pushed on.

“Honestly, I don’t know how much Mom has told you about her life before you were born. Aboutmylife, when I was younger.” She paused, again wondering how much was acceptable to say.

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