Page 87 of The Snowball Effect

“Yes, I have heard the many interesting complimentary choices,” Charlotte confirmed, motioning for Regan to continue with a regal wave of her hand. “Very sweet, but very fascinating at times.”

Regan could accept that.

“I was going to just… just be honest with her. Trying to make her feel a little confidence boost because Idothink that she is really attractive.”

As she spoke, she replayed the moment with Emma in her mind. The intention she’d had, the way she’d looked at Emma with platonic intentions, but her thoughts had then been… intercepted. By something very not platonic.

“But I felt – I felt – it didn’t feel how I feel when I compliment Sutton. Or when I just checked you out.”

“And… whatdidyou feel?” Charlotte pressed coaxingly.

Regan swallowed thickly. “I felt like I didn’t just want to compliment her thighs or her boobs, but I wanted to touch them. Like, I didn’t want her to just think I wassayingthese words for the sake of saying them. I felt like,” she licked her lips, “Like she had no business feeling bad about herself in any way because she lookedsexy. And I didn’t just think, objectively, she was sexy. Ifeltlike she was.”

Even saying those words made her feel dazed all over again.

“That certainly sounds very telling,” Charlotte commented after several beats.

Regan stared. “That’s all you have to say?”

Charlotte matched her stare easily. “What else would you like me to tell you?”

Tossing her arms in the air, Regan resumed her pacing from this morning. “I don’t know! You’re the expert here. You’re the one who was essentially tutoring Sutton in the art of dating.” She frowned. “Then again, you didn’t do that great of a job, given that she never went on any dates with anyone else.”

“She went speed dating,” Charlotte corrected, her voice dipping to a jealous mutter.

“You know what I mean.” Besides, Regan had signed Sutton up for that, so it didn’t even really count.

“Regan, the difference between my interactions with Sutton in the beginning, other than the obvious–”

“That you desperately wanted to make passionate love to her.”

Charlotte’s nose wrinkled up in disdain. “I was going to say that I was interested in her.”

“To-may-to, to-mah-to.”

Charlotte took to ignoring her, then. “As I was saying, the difference is that when Sutton wanted my advice, she knew for a fact that she was attracted to women. Whatyou’reasking my advice on is a far more difficult subject.”

Confused, Regan slowly paused her pacing. “Why?”

Charlotte stared critically at her for several moments, and Regan nearly squirmed. She had to hand it to Charlotte; she had an incredibly direct stare. One that made Regan feelseenfrom the inside out. What a skill to have.

“Because – there simply is no one size fits all here,” Charlotte explained before taking another sip from her mug. She seemed too calm right now, especially given the storm Regan was feeling inside.

She waited several more seconds to see what other sage wisdom Charlotte would offer, only to be met with quiet.

“That’s all you have to say?!”

This time, Charlotte let out a quietly amused chuckle. “Thereisno real answer, Regan. I can’t tell you if you’re attracted to women or not. Or even if you’re attracted tothiswoman or not.”

Regan stared at her dismally. “Charlotte, please. You want to be a leader of our country. I need more leadership right now. Win my vote.”

Charlotte seemed to take her statement seriously. Seemingly as a challenge. She focused that intense stare on Regan, tilting her head slightly as she asked, “Fine. Why areyoudoubting this? My intuition about you is that you typically follow your feelings without fear. Why is this different?”

Huh. Okay, that was a good starting point. Regan’s eyebrows furrowed in thought as she slowly resumed her strides back and forth across Charlotte’s living room.

“I think… I think it’s because – shouldn’t Iknow, by now? Shouldn’t I have figured it out?” She demanded from both of them and the universe. “If I’m queer, shouldn’t Iknow? I waswith Sutton every step of the way through her sapphic self-discovery. I did all of the research for her on different queer dating apps–”

“Appreciated,” Charlotte interjected.

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