She stood and blindly made her way from the dining room to the full bathroom down the hall, unable to take a breath until she had the door shut behind her.
God, why was this sohard?
She sat down on the lip of the bathtub, dropping her head into her hands.
She shouldn’t be surprised, right? Because this feeling had been exactly what she’d been trying to outrun by avoiding Kimberly for the last few months.
Even if she wasn’t surprised, though, it was suffocating. It made her face feel too hot, and her chest feel too tight, and Emma squeezed her eyes closed against the sensations.
Panic arced through her when the door to the bathroom opened, and she snapped her head up. “Occupied. A little privacy, please.”
If she couldn’t get privacy in the bathroom, where could she?!
“Emma, if I have to try to find another bathroom in this house, I might get lost!” Regan whisper-shouted dramatically as she shut the door behind her. “Besides, next time you need privacy, you should make sure you hit the lock.” As if to demonstrate, Regan did, indeed, lock the door.
Emma tried to summon some frustration. Really, she did.
But when she was faced with Regan and her gentle smile, Emma’s guard was nowhere to be found. With Regan, she found herself… defenseless. She didn’t need to be guarded from Regan. Not anymore – maybe not ever, she’d been learning – and definitely not here.
In this house, Regan was her biggest ally. And she had taken up that mantle as if Emma were paying her handsomely.
“I’ll leave you alone.” Regan’s voice was surprisingly soft and soothing – a tone Emma had never heard from her before. “You’ve just been gone for almost ten minutes, and I… well, I got a little worried. I’mstilla little worried, honestly.”
Emma inhaled sharply. It had been ten minutes?!
She swallowed thickly, shaking her head. “I’m fine.”
Across the bathroom, Regan leaned against the door, shooting her a disbelieving look. “Wow. I kind of thought you’d be a better liar than that.”
Again, she wished she could summon up the energy to glare at Regan for the gently teasing tone.
“I’ll be fine,” she amended, her cheeks still feeling too warm.
“I’m sure you will be,” Regan readily agreed. “But, as yourgirlfriend,” she added with a cheeky smile. One that – insanely – made the tightness in Emma’s chest relax a little. “I think it’s my job to make sure you’re okay right now.”
Emma closed her eyes again.
“I turned down family movie night, even though Everly seems quite distraught that we won’t be here to watch the latest Pixar release. I cited that I promised to take you to the bookstore before they close so you can enjoy a relaxing Sunday tomorrow with a new read.”
Emma felt Regan sit on the lip of the tub too-close next to her, her solid warmth feeling like an anchor.
“It’s a good lie,” she whispered, still keeping her eyes closed. “If youweremy girlfriend, that would be a perfect way to end a bad night.” She frowned, considering, “Or a good night. Any night, really.”
Regan scoffed. “I know. I’ve seen the bookshelves in your room. You know those things are digitized now, right?” As she spoke, she dropped her hand to Emma’s forearm, stroking up and down.
The shockingly calming sensation of Regan’s touch, mixed with Emma’s visceral internal reaction to that comment, had her opening her eyes. “A digital book doesn’t come close to capturing the magic of physical one. You willneverconvince me.”
“Hey, I’m not the person raking in money from e-readers.” Regan held up her free hand defensively.
Emma merely sighed, leaning sideways against the cool tiled wall.
“Look, Emma. I know things – as you told me – are complicated here. And I’m not going to tell you that you shouldbe grateful Kimberly wants to spend time with you or whatever because… your feelings, whatever they may be, are valid. But you’re usually so straightforward. At least, you are with me,” Regan added, a grin flashing over her face as she stroked her thumb over Emma’s wrist.
“Because talking to you is a lot easier than talking to Kimberly,” Emma retorted. At least, she’d meant to. But her words came out a lot softer than she’d intended.
What alternate universe had she found herself in, she wondered, as she stared at the woman next to her. Surely, something had to have torn in the fabric of time and space in the last few weeks, meaning she washerein hermom’s house, taking comfort fromRegan.
Regan’s smile grew impossibly brighter. “I just think that maybe you can try to talk to her with half of the brutal honesty you’ve used with me? Things might get resolved – one way or the other – a lot… neater. Without you needing to hide in the bathroom like you’re skipping third-period chemistry.”