Page 49 of The Snowball Effect

Emma never gave Regan the benefit of the doubt. She never tried with her.

And, most distressingly, she found that she didn’t want to be that person.

“Pleasebelieve me when I tell you – I’ve been trying to figure out how to make it up to her.”

Granted, those attempts had mostly been spending time in their shared living spaces and hoping Regan would come to her and act normally. But Emma didn’t know what else to do when Regan didn’t seem interested in a simple apology!

“Why?” Sutton asked, surprising her.

“Why… what?”

“Why are you trying to make it up to her? Why are you trying to bring her back around when it sounds like you finally got what you wanted out of this living situation?” Sutton wasn’t being mean or taunting; her tone was genuinely questioning.

Emma found, at that moment, that she didn’t immediately have an answer.

“I mean, is it just because you feel guilty?” Sutton pressed. “Because, if so, you could just write Regan an apology note and go on with your day.”

“I guess,” she acknowledged. “Though, she doesn’t seem to want an apology?”

“… So?” Sutton asked. “Emma, your entire relationship with Regan has never been based on what Regan wants. If you feel bad, and allyouwant from this situation is for her to know that you didn’t mean what you said, then make the apology and move on.”

Sutton’s advice was sound. There was not a single incorrect component here.

And yet, Emma found that it wasn’t sitting right with her. The idea was, alarmingly, very unappealing, which was why she hadn’t done so already. “That doesn’t feel like enough.”

“But why?” Sutton pressed.

Had she taken some sort of interrogation lesson from Charlotte or something?!

“I think,” she began, feeling uncharacteristically and uncomfortably nervous with the reality starting to set in. “That I regret not giving Regan a chance.”

Emma’s eyes opened widely in wonder and surprise at the truth of those words.

Because – yes. That was exactly it.

She regretted their fallout notjustbecause she felt bad about hurting Regan’s feelings. But because now that Regan wasn’tmaking any overtures toward her, she felt like she’d made a mistake. Like she’d missed out on something.

There was a reason Sutton loved Regan so fiercely. And Regan had been offering Emma an opportunity this entire time for her to really understand why, but she’d been so determined not to take it.

And now that the olive branch was no longer available and she’d been given a swift kick in the ass out of her stubbornness, Emmamissedit.

She bit her lip to hold back the groan. Oh,god, Regan was right. They were the female, real-life incarnates of Tom and Jerry. Emma, like Tom, was listless and unhappy without Jerry as a constant presence.

“All right, then,” Sutton murmured. There was satisfaction in her voice, and her previous irritation at Emma was now completely – thankfully – gone.

Emma couldn’t help but feel like Sutton had gotten Emma to admit something she’d already anticipated.

“Now that we’ve gotten somewhere, what I can tell you is this – Regan might appear to you to be shallow or superfluous. But she is actually really great at reading people. And if she believes that you’re just spewing words at her and she doesn’t think you’re being sincere in trying to apologize, she’s not going to really accept it.”

Emma was already slowly nodding in acceptance before Sutton had finished speaking. She supposed that was what Regan had said the other night – not that she didn’t want an apology, but that she didn’t want an empty one.

“All right,” she quietly mused. “Thanks for the chat. And – I’m going to fix it,” she asserted.

If there was one thing Emma was great at, it was completing an assigned task. And this was now at the top of her list.

She had to be genuine. She had totry.

Emma refused to let nerves get the better of her, so she stood her ground in the living room as she heard Regan open the front door.

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