Kimberly hadn’t stayed for long, and Regan… well, not only had Regan done her a solid favor, but she’d done it well.
Maybe a little too well. She supposed it wasn’t a shock that Regan had been so comfortable acting so casually lovey-dovey toward Emma. Leaning into Emma as if she did it all of the time, dropping her hand to Emma’s knee like it was a normal thing between them.
Honestly, Regan had been so casual about it that the action hadn’t even registered to Emma asabnormal. It had been just as jarring as Kimberly’s presence was to have realized that she had found some semblance of stability in Regan, however brief it had been.
“I’m so glad to hear that, Em. I really am.” The relief in her grandmother’s tone was palpable. “I heard all about it from Kimberly this afternoon.”
Emma hummed under her breath as she turned onto the block where her subway stop was. Honestly, she had no idea what about the visit Kimberly could have said to Gram that had been so thrilling, given that she’d only been at their apartment for –
The horrifying realization dawned on Emma at the same time her grandmother started talking again.
“I’ll admit, I was a little surprised to find out from your mom that Regan is your girlfriend!” Gram stated, sounding exactly that – surprised. “She said you two looked very sweet together.”
Emma stopped walking right there, in the middle of the bustling sidewalk. “Uh.”
It was all she could manage.
“I know you’ve been busy, of course. But… if you two live together, you must have been dating for a while. I’m not trying to pry, of course. I’m just – I suppose I just don’t understand.Normally, when you have news about your personal life, you tell me. Or, I thought you did.”
There it was: that slightly hurt tone that she could tell her grandmother was trying to hide so as not to make Emma feel badly.
The great news on that front was that Emmadidn’tfeel guilty; she felt panicked.
“I do tell you.” She couldn’t help but state, as it was the truth.
She’d always told her grandma about her romantic life. Even though neither of them had ever been the type to be swept up in romantic fantasy, her grandmother had made it very clear to Emma throughout her adolescence that dating and sex weren’t taboo discussions. That it was better to be frank and honest about emotional and physical health. It had clearly been a response on her grandmother’s side to make sure Emma didn’t end up as a pregnant teenager like her mother.
So, Emma had always been honest and open. Her grandmother had been the first person she’d confided in about her sexuality when she’d been fourteen. She’d been the person to comfort Emma through high school heartaches.
“I know I could sometimes be… harsh. About Felicity,” her gram admitted ruefully. “In retrospect, I realize you haven’t really discussed your romantic life with me since then.”
Her grandmotherhadbeen somewhat harsh on the topic of Felicity. Gram had never liked Emma’s ex; she’d thought Felicity was judgmental and elitist, that she hadn’t prioritized Emma the way Emma had prioritized her. And her gram had never been one to pull punches, especially not when it came to how Emma was being treated.
“You need to be with someone who treats you well,” her grandmother had told her intently and often when she’d been with Felicity.
Emma had theorized – much like the teen pregnancy thing – it was because they’d both watched Kimberly make shitty, irresponsible dating choices for years, and Gram hadn’t wanted to see history repeating.
Her grandmother’s disapproval of Felicity had weighed heavily on Emma.
She’d lived her entire life wearing her grandmother’s quiet stamp of approval with pride, and she hadn’t quite known what to do, knowing that the person she’d fallen for would never have that same approval.
She’d also stayed in that relationship long enough to see that everything her grandmother had ever said about Felicity had been, unfortunately, accurate.
“Ihaven’ttold you anything about my dating life since Felicity,” Emma echoed.
It was the truth – but it was only the truth because she hadn’t had anything to say about her dating life in the last two years.
“I understand that, and what you do in your romantic life is your business,” Gram stated, still with that hint of sadness in her voice. “I just wish I’d known. I’ve never missed one of your milestones, and living with a partner for the first time is a decent one.”
“Um… I guess it is.”
Emma wouldn’t know; she’d never done it.
“But Kimberly said she was very friendly! Very pretty. Made an excellent cup of coffee.”
“That’s all true,” Emma confirmed because Reganwasfriendly, pretty, and made the best coffee Emma had ever tasted. But, mostly, she was starting to feel a little overwhelmed.
More than a little.