Page 178 of The Snowball Effect

The confusion and hurt in her voice were undeniable, and she felt Regan’s hand tighten on hers.

“I wanted to tell you,” Regan said, with obvious guilt. Emma could feel the tension that worked through Regan’s body. “Ireallywanted to tell you, but…” Regan worried at her bottom lip, clearly conflicted and a little distressed. “I didn’t want to add to your plate, and I didn’t want to stress you out, and–”

“You’re my best friend! I’ve been way more stressed thinking that something terrible was going on for over a month,” Sutton refuted, her tone inarguably steely, while still keeping that gentle edge she was so good at. “You were there for me every step of the way when I was figuring my sexuality out – sometimes, too much. I…” She rolled her lips, that wounded expression still on her face as she trailed off.

“I’m sorry,” Regan’s apology burst out, and her remorse was written all over her face. “I’m really sorry.”

Sutton shook her head, as she stated, firmly, “I don’t want to make this about me; because thisisn’tabout me. I just… I’m – trying to figure out how to process.”

Emma squeezed Regan’s hand in support as she explained, “She didn’t tell you because she knew I kept my own personal life so… guarded. And even though I wouldn’t have been upset if she went to her best friend for support,” she emphasized, needing Regan to know that was the truth. She turned to look at Regan as she said it, hoping Regan would be able to see how much she meant it. “She did it out of respect for me.”

Yeah, that warm feeling filled her chest, again, and only grew bigger and stronger, at the tremulous smile that worked over Regan’s face.

“Okay…” Sutton drew out. “I, conceptually, understand what you’re saying. But… this…” She gestured at the two of them. Finally, she huffed out a breath and rolled her shoulders, as if forcing herself to get with the program. “So. You’re having sex.”

“Tonight was the first time… mostly,” Regan supplied, sounding both hopeful and apologetic. “I’ll tell youeverything– because it’s been a wild summer! – but you have to know that I would have told you if we were, like, in a real, official relationship.”

At that, Sutton pursed her lips, a glint sparking in her eyes. “I see. This isn’t a relationship, then?”

Emma didn’t understand that tone; she didn’t think she’d ever heard it before.

Regan groaned, though. “Why are you using Katherine Spencer voice on me?”

“I’m not,” Sutton denied, but the voice was still there. “I’m just asking if this is a relationship. Because if you two are deciding to embark on some friends-with-benefits thing that could get really messy, then I’m not sure I want all of the details.”

Regan scoffed. “Rich coming fromyou.” She arched a look at Sutton.

Emma couldn’t help but laugh.

Sutton blushed faintly, even as she remained firm in her stance. “Yes, ha-ha, fine. But if you two are doing something without any strings and are trying to keep things… light, then – for the sake of my friendship with you both – I’m not sure how much I should get into it.”

Thattoneremained, and Emma didn’t know why, but she got the distinct impression that Sutton was directing it at her?

She frowned, stomach twisting, as she stared back at Sutton. And, yes, they were communicating via video chat, but, “Are youlooking atme, specifically?” She demanded to know, because itreallyseemed that was what was happening.

“Yes,” Sutton confirmed, easily.

“Why?” Emma frowned, feeling very put on the spot. “We’rebothdoing this.”

“Because even on a phone call from across the Atlantic, I can read Regan like a book,” Sutton informed her, and her tone gentled as she glanced at Regan. Slowly, she drew her gaze back to Emma. “It’s – clearly – harder for me to read you. I mean. Obviously, this attraction is new. And I know how… tenuous things were in the beginning of this arrangement, so–”

“The attraction isn’t new,” Emma found herself stating, even as a rush of heat hit her cheeks.

She could see Regan’s slow, sweet smile bloom, even as Sutton’s eyebrows lifted high on her forehead. “Ah… huh.”

“I think,” Emma paused, her heart beating a little harder in her chest as her nerves buzzed to life. “It was always a lot easier – safer – for me to focus on any possible negative about Regan, so that I never gave myself the opportunity of feeling anything more, that I wasn’t ready to feel.”

She slowly turned to look at Regan, who was staring at her with those big, brown eyes. Those eyes that searched Emma’s, amazed and thrilled, and Emma could only look right back and let Regan see whatever she was looking for.

Because that was the truth.

A distressing truth that Emma had to accept in the last month.

“Oh, wow. Okay,” Sutton breathed, regaining both of their attention. “So, this is a thing, then. This is a real… relationship?”

Emma felt Regan’s hand tighten in hers.

“I mean, uh, Iwasserious, Sutton, when I said this was the first time we’ve slept together.” Regan breathed out a slightly nervous laugh, shooting Emma a look. “We don’t need to–”

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