“I bet,” Emma murmured, because after those throaty moans, she could only imagine that Regan was parched.
She very deliberately side-stepped away from the sink as Regan approached. She could not –could. Not.– touch Regan right now. Couldn’t handle Regan sidling up to her all casual and brushing her bare, warm – probably still slightly sweaty – skin against any part of Emma’s body.
Regan seemed to feel the same way, which rang another alarm bell in Emma’s mind. She walked with hesitation over to the cabinet with the glasses, pushing up on her tiptoes, and Emma stared at Regan’s bare back, and she – shewanted.
She knew how soft Regan’s skin was, now. She’d felt it, right under her hands, when they’d woken up together only two and a half days ago. She’d always found Regan ridiculously, irritatingly attractive, and now it was so muchmore.
The sheerly physical aspect was more intense, now, because she lived with her. Because she saw Regan every day, touched her every day, was touchedbyher. They’d kissed and snuggled, and she smelled Regan’s shampoo in the shower, permeating through her entire fucking being. There was no escape!
Even beyond that, though, this was so much more than the physical, now. Emma could contain a physical reaction; she could manage that. But Regan was… she was smart and funnyand chaotic and she tried so hard and Emma liked it. She likedher, so fucking much.
“I’m just, you know, going to go back to my room. Long day,” Regan murmured softly, her cheeks pink as she glanced at Emma, before glancing away as she started to close the cabinet.
“Right,” she replied, annoyed at herself by how short she sounded. Yet, she couldn’t help it.
And Regan wasblushing? Going back to her room, seemingly for the night, so early? Was she embarrassed about having someone in her room? Did it make her feel as weird as Emma felt right now?
When Regan turned toward the sink holding only one glass, Emma couldn’t help but ask, “You don’t need another one?”
Ugh, she squeezed her eyes closed, irritation flashing through her. At both herself, and Regan, and she feltcrazy!
Regan paused, slowly turning back to face Emma. “What are you talking about? And why are you being like this?”
“Why areyoubeing like this?” She countered, feeling childish and petty, but the words were out before she could stop them.
Regan stared at her, incredulously. “Huh?”
Emma gestured at Regan, feeling the words bubble up in her throat. “You’re blushing and avoiding looking at me, and Iheardyou when I came home. Obviously, you have someone in your room, and you feel… embarrassed, or whatever. And – that’s fine. Because you thought I wasn’t going to be home tonight. But… but…”
Butwhat? Emma couldn’t think rationally right now, for the first time in her entire adult life.
All she could think about were the sounds Regan had made, and how aroused Emma had been by it, and the fact that it ate her up inside, knowing that they’d been made for someone else.
Regan’s mouth fell open in obvious surprise. “You think that I was having sex, just now? With someone else?That’swhy you’re being all grumbly with me right now?”
Emma crossed her arms, as if the action could help contain all of these messy feelings inside of her. “Well – fine. Yeah. So what? Justyesterday, you told me you have serious feelings for me.”
“And you didn’t say it back!” Regan shot back, gesturing widely at Emma with palpable desperation. “You’re the one that said we can’t kiss again, thatthis– you and me – isn’t happening.”
Emma felt the truth of that burn through her, heating her face in an embarrassed blush.
“You can’t hold it against me if I date or sleep with other people, after you turned me down, Emma,” Regan sharply informed her, and there was a hoarseness in her tone. Something hurt that Emma could hear, and with it, Emma deflated, feeling the prickling feeling of causing Regan any pain digging right into her. “I might be able to keep going on as normal as possible with you, but Idohave feelings, and I’m trying to process through them the same as you are.”
Still embarrassed and still not knowing what to fucking do with herself, Emma dropped her head into both of her hands. “I know. I know, Regan, and I’msorry.”
She was; truly, deeply sorry. Sorry about everything; she didn’t even know, anymore.
“If you care that I’m having sex with someone else, all you have to do is tell me. If I shouldn’t be on dating apps anymore, then all you have to do is say it.” Regan’s tone was searching, pulling at something inside of Emma. Threatening to make her unravel.
Emma shook her head, though, forcing herself to lift her face up and actually look at Regan. “I don’t have the right to say that, I just–”
She hadn’t realized Regan had walked closer to her. Hadn’t realized that Regan was only inches away, still only wearing the bare minimum stiches of clothing required to not be completely naked, while her body was still flushed and, dear god, Emma’s handsshookwith want.
“I’mtellingyou that you have the right to say it,” Regan’s voice dipped so low, it skittered down Emma’s spine and landed squarely between her legs. Reminding her that the wetness she’d felt from hearing Regan hadn’t gone away. “If you tell me that you have feelings for me, too, then you have the right.”
Emma’s lips trembled open, and she couldn’t find any words that she was able to say aloud. Not while her heart was beating so hard in her chest and this heat wound through her, so demanding.
While everything inside of her screamed to tell Regan thatyes, she had feelings for her – intense, strong feelings – but it was so complicated, and –