Page 114 of The Snowball Effect

Wasthis a good idea? Emma could really go for some processing time right now, but if she did that, it would mean she was admitting that she wasn’t feeling totallyfine and normalabout this.

Regan looked at her with an innocuous smile as she patted the cushion next to her. “Come on, Emma. I’m not going to jump you. Promise.”

“We’ll see,” Emma muttered, pushing off the wall and walking toward the couch.

The only way this would start to feel normal again was if they made it normal. They were both adults. It was one kiss that hadn’t even involved tongue.

Emma let out a breath she hadn’t even realized she’d been holding as Regan didn’t scooch in closer to her. Yes, Regan often sat close enough to Emma’s side that they were touching, and Emma had come to expect it. To enjoy it, even – which was astartlingrealization to have in this moment. But it was true. When they weren’t watching TV, Regan still sat that close because she loved to slide her phone screen in Emma’s direction whenever she came across an amusing video or meme. To Regan’s credit, Emma really did find herself amused by whatever content Regan curated for her.

Right now, though, she was glad Regan was able to read the room – readEmma– and maintain some distance.

Regan merely curled up against the arm of the couch and reached for the remote, navigating through the streaming apps before putting on an episode of irritatingly addictive reality television.

Emma took a slow, deep breath and held it for a few seconds… before measuredly letting it out. And with it came some of her tension. There.

As the drama unfolded on the screen, Emma’s shoulders relaxed even more.Thesepeople, going on a reality dating show, had real romantic drama to deal with. Emma just had one kiss with Regan.

She onlyjuststarted to find some semblance of true calm fifteen minutes into the episode – sure, she was hyper-aware of Regan, but that was to be expected right about now – when Regan ruined it.

“You know, it actually feels really good to let that all out,” she commented, her tone thoughtful, immediately pulling Emma’s entire attention from the TV. “I’ve been holding onto it so tightly for the last couple of weeks. Literally falling over myself because I didn’t know what to do about this attraction. But now, I can just be toootally normal.”

Emma’s blood rushed through her ears as she stared agape at Regan, who was splayed out over the couch, looking so relaxed. Pensive but relaxed, with one arm curled behind her head, making her shirt ride up over her smooth, pale stomach and her other hand resting on her revealed skin.

Jesus. Emma snapped her eyes closed.

Even so, all she could see with her eyes closed was still – damningly –Regan. Her mind replayed the images of Regan falling over herself, and she snapped her eyes open with a gasp as surprise rushed through her. “That was all because you were attracted to me?”

Regan falling over her feet, dumping the coffee over herself… good god!

Emma did not appreciate the feeling that slithered through the pit of her stomach. This feeling of beingpleased. Flattered. Amazed. It was a resoundingly positive, heated feeling, and she clenched her jaw, doing her best to stifle it.

Regan nudged Emma lightly in the thigh with her socked foot. “Duh.”

Dumbfounded, Emma turned blankly back toward the TV and tried to filter that information into the neatly organized sections of her brain.

Only for Regan to throw her for another loop, as she poked Emma with her toe again and asked, “Does it at least feel nice to know? That I’m so attracted to you?”

Why? Why was Regan like this? Just as Emma thought she would move beyond this kiss fiasco as seamlessly as possible, Regan had to dothis. Had to make Emma think about it, to think about Regan’s attraction and – ugh!

She wanted to retort that,no, it didn’t feel good. In fact, she opened her mouth to tell Regan as much.

Damnably, though, she also couldn’t deny that feeling that was still demanding to be felt because that was precisely what it was. It felt terrifyingly, disarmingly good.

Underneath the panic from the kiss and the fear that this would throw Emma’s newly settled life into chaos, it made her feel ridiculously satisfied. Not as ina job well donekind of satisfaction, but something heady and wanting.

Bad. Bad train of thought.

“It felt great for me, if you can imagine when Gram spilled the beans you were attracted to me,” Regan continued, seemingly unbothered by how this afternoon was unraveling.

Still, Emma couldn’t help but admire Regan’s ability to talk through any potential weirdness, speak her mind, and vocalize her feelings like this.

But, for her own sanity, Emma needed to cut this off at the knees.

She kept her tone as sharp and factual as she could. “Yes, it’s nice to know.”

Oh, you helped Regan figure out her sexuality, and she’s really attracted to you – that’s nice to know!

A peel of amused laughter escaped Regan. “It’s nice to know,” she parroted, poorly mimicking Emma as she unthinkingly tapped on Emma’s thigh in some sort of silent rhythm that only Regan could hear.

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