Page 104 of The Snowball Effect

“I just don’t understand–” She broke off, the dawning hitting her mid-sentence. “Oh. Is this you telling me that you don’t want me to be in your wedding party anymore? You’re doing it one-on-one instead of in front of your group of friends, but in a public place, so I can’t make a scene?”

“I’m not sure I believe you wouldn’t make a scene, first of all. Secondly,no. Why are you acting like two sisters having brunch together is the strangest thing to happen in your life?”

Regan stared at her sister, wondering if that was rhetorical. But when Audrey lifted an eyebrow at her, she realized she was actually waiting for an answer. “Because… it is?”

Before Audrey could respond, Regan shook her head. “We’venevergone out to brunch together! Or any meal, for that matter. No breakfast, lunch, or dinner. Happy hour drinks. Not once in our adult lives, even though you’ve worked in the city I’ve lived in for four years, have you asked me to brunch. So, yeah, it’s weird.”

“You’ve never asked me, either,” Audrey shot back, pursing her lips.

Regan felt like she was losing her actual freaking mind here!

“Look, I know I’m only in your wedding party at all because it would have looked bad, like we aren’t some picture-perfectfamily, and Mom and Dad would have murdered you otherwise.” She’d known it since she’d received the formal bridesmaid invitation at the beginning of the year. First, upon receipt, she’d been very confused before she’d put it all together. “You don’t need to keep inviting me to these brunches or whatever. It’s not like I’m going to tell on you or something.”

Hell, even if Regan would tattle on Audrey to their parents, it’s not like their parents had ever sided with Regan on anything.

She could see the way the muscle in Audrey’s jaw tightened, and she fully expected the tell-off she was about to receive.

Only for Audrey to release a slow breath as she muttered, “Mom and Dad didn’tmakeme ask you to be in my wedding.”

Regan let out a disbelieving scoff. “Yeah,right.” That ugly feeling reared its head inside her, and she lifted her hand to pick lightly at the pristine tablecloth. “You’ve never actually wanted me around, Audrey. Not only is it stupid to pretend otherwise when it’s just the two of us, but I don’t want you to.”

“You’ve never wanted tobearound, Regan,” Audrey’s voice was low and tight. “Not me, anyway.”

Regan whipped her gaze up to meet the burning look in her sister’s. “What the hell are you talking about? Youknowhow Mom and Dad treat me. Youknowthey think I’m a total fuck-up.” Regan knew her sister knew that because her parents had never been shy about saying it. Maybe not in those exact words, but Regan’s earliest memories with her parents were of being scolded, reprimanded, lectured. For everything she did. “Even my ADHD is my own fault; I should have the internal fortitude to overcome suchissueson my own, and shame on me for not being strong enough.”

Actual words her parents had said to her more than once.

“I’ve never said that to you, have I?” Audrey challenged as she tilted her jaw up superiorly.

Regan was already opening her mouth to argue that fact as she sifted through as many memories as she could summon, and…

“Fine,” she deflated slightly. “But you sat right there behind them, how many times? And you never stuck up for me. Notonce.”

Maybe she couldn’t recall Audrey verbally supporting their parents in their assessment of Regan, but she could easily picture the way Audrey would physically align herself with them. Glaring at Regan from behind their parents, as she received her dressing down. It was a very distinct line.

“What did you want me to say?” Audrey hissed. “Every time you were unhappy, you ran right off to be withSuttonand theSpencers.”

Sutton and the Spencers would be a great band name, Regan errantly thought, but didn’t have the wherewithal to even joke about it. Not while her sister’s eyes glittered with so much pure resentment, it slammed into Regan with a startling intensity.

“You were ensconced into theiractualpicture-perfect family, getting your hair braided by Katherine and going on family vacations with them. Parading around like you were one of their own fucking children.” The unfettered emotion in Audrey’s voice was something Regan hadneverheard before. Her sister’s eyes glinted in anger, hurt, frustration, and… well, other emotions that Regan didn’t know her sister well enough to name.

“I didn’t have that; Ihad to stay at home with our parents, who took every single ounce of pressure that they couldn’t put on you and added it to my back. Regan got a C in math, so Audrey better have an A+. Regan dropped out of college, so Audrey better be getting her Ivy League MBA after she graduates summa cum laude.” She swigged viciously from her mimosa. “If we can’t brag about Regan because she’s a single barista, thenwe need to be able to bragdoublyabout Audrey – climbing the ladder at her company, getting married to the right person.”

Regan could only stare, slightly shaking her head against everything she heard. She wanted to argue with her. She wanted to disagree, to tell Audrey that wasn’t how this had all gone down.

But the thing was, even if that had been a side of their parents Regan hadn’t personally experienced – given that they’d given up on her long before they’d gotten to that point – she knew very well that this was who theywere.

And… it didn’t feel good. She’d wondered, when she’d been younger and had felt so fucking terrible for being such a disappointment to her family, how good it would feel to be able to take Perfect Audrey down a peg.

Only, right now, as her sister’s eyes filled with tears, Regan felt awful.

Like her entire worldview was turning on its head. She stared down at the immaculately set up table for several long seconds, trying to figure out how, exactly, she could reconcile this. How she could understand this – this shifted world order.

“I’m sorry,” she found herself saying, eyebrows knitting together as she looked at Audrey.

And for the first time in literally forever, she felt like someone was staring back at her that she could potentially understand.

“I’m sorry that was your experience with them. I’m not okay with you taking it out on me,” she was quick to add becauseyearsof their shitty relationship couldn’t be undone by Regan understanding Audrey’s perspective. But… it was a start, maybe. “I wish you’d said something about it before.”

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