Page 173 of Mud

He’d never believe it, Taland. He’d never trust me again even if I bothered to tell him the whole truth, and that’s why I didn’t.

But in those moments as I held onto him and bit his lip, breathed in his scent, felt him as deep inside me as he could get, I really was undoubtedly his.

It caught us by surprise, the way we felt. Yes, we’d been like this before, but we’d also forgotten, and that orgasm hit us hard, both and at the same time, way too soon.

Neither of us had expected it because it wasn’t usual. We’d moaned but slowly—I was usually screaming my lungs out before I came. And he’d raised himself on his elbow to touch me, play with my boobs, then had gone lower to rub me the way he used to do while his cock slid in and out of me so easily.

When I came, he came, too, fell on top of me with his eyes tightly shut, wrapped his arms around me and squeezed me to his chest while I still struggled to find enough air to breathe.

We stayed like that until the high let us down. Then Taland slipped out of me, lay down on his back, and pulled me with him in one motion so that my head rested on his shoulder.

Just that gesture made my stomach twist again because I’d wanted it to happen so much, but I’d been sure it wouldn’t. I thought he’d just get up, grab his clothes, and walk away when we were done.

But no—he stayed. And he held me just like he used to so that the tallarose made of ink on his chest was right there in front of my lips.

We took a moment to just breathe, let our bodies cool down, our hearts slow the beating.

Eventually I started to trace the lines of the ink on his skin.

Why would you tattoo this on your chest?I wondered but didn’t dare say out loud.

“So, who was he?” Taland said after a minute, and my eyes closed at the image of Ben on the floor choking on Blackfire magic.Fuck,that had actually happened.

“No, don’t tell me,” he said after a minute. “I don’t have time to go kill him.”

“Damn it, Taland.” He said it so calmly, no hint of remorse in his voice.

He pretended I hadn’t said a single thing. “There is a place I suspect is built upon graves on the east side of Night City,” he continued instead. “I have to check in the next loop to make sure.”

I looked up at his face, and my fingers moved to trace the line of his jaw all on their own. And it occurred to me… “How are you shaved?” He was always shaved, and we’d been here a while, hadn’t we?

Taland shrugged just slightly. “I brought a razor blade.”

Laughter burst out of me—of course, he did. I didn’t think I’d ever met a person moreneatthat he was about his body.

“We’re stuck in loops,” I said when my laughter died down, and Taland didn’t let go of me nor did he loosen his grip around my body. He didn’t kiss me, didn’t laugh with me, but he didn’t move away, either.

I took it.

“Yes, but they’re not normal loops,” he said.

“Three-hour loops,” I said with a nod.

“Five and a half,” said Taland. “And that tends to change based on how close you are to finding your key.”

“Oh.” I kept forgetting he’d already finished this challenge. I kept forgetting he was in the Greenfire challenge, too. “What did you get in the Tree of Abundance?” I wondered. “What animal did you bond with?”

“Eagle,” said Taland. “He found me soon after you left.”

“Eagle,” I repeated, and it fit. Somehow the image of an eagle fit Taland perfectly. “Was it hard?”

“We danced around for a bit. We fought a little. In the end, we both won.” I could be mistaken, but he sounded a bit sad about it.

Just as sad as I was to remember the beautiful vulcera that had almost cut my throat when I failed to show her my magic.

Magic that I didn’t have.

Just like that, the reality I lived in was slowly leaking into my mind, drip after drip, memory after memory, to remind me just how fucked up this situation I was in, was.

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