Page 163 of Mud

Why am I wasting time with this guy again?

Who even cares about kissing in Night City?

I should probably go check on Refiq.

I should probably grab a wine on my way out just to get a little buzz…

Yes, that’s what went on in my head while the guy poured his whole heart into kissing me.

But then he began to slow down.

His moans turned lower, the grip of his hands softer. He no longer pressed against me as hard, and his tongue wasno longer as…erm,present.He slowed down, first a little bit, then almost all the way.

And I liked it. I liked to take my time and see if I could make this work, if I could make myself feel something other than this weird,wetsensation. I was glad for it, thinking he was finally matching my vibe, figuring out I liked it slower—which I didn’t normally, but still.

I shouldn’t have been so hopeful.

“Ben?” I whispered when he suddenly stopped moving his lips altogether.

Maybe he wanted a break?

My eyes opened lazily, and I was still against the wall, and he was…

“Ben!” I called before I could help it because the guy fell to his knees and his eyes were closed and he was breathing like he was in a race—but not only that.

Blackfire magicwas all over his body, coming out of his parted lips and spreading down the length of him.

Goddess, I nearly passed the hell out. A voice in my head said,scream, scream, scream for help!but if I did, every person downstairs was going to come up here and see Ben like that and turn on me.

No, I couldn’t scream. They’d kill me on the spot.

“Hold on, Ben. Hold on, I’ll help you up,” I whispered, leaning down to grab him and put him against the wall.

But the moment I touched him,moremagic spilled out of his mouth like vomit, and spread down his neck faster, paralyzing me in place for a second.

Move!

My thoughts raced. My body moved on its own and I found myself by the door, shaking, tears streaming from my eyes, completely disoriented. My heart was in my throat andI held onto the door frame with all my strength, watching without daring to even blink as the Blackfire coming out of Ben’s mouth slowed down and began to fade away.

Yes, yes, please fade away…

But when I stepped into the room again to try to help him up, thinking it was over, the magic came back, as black as the night. So much magic just spilling out of his mouth like his insides were made of it.

This time, when I ran to the door, I didn’t stop until I was at the stairs.

I only gave myself a second to stop and breathe and collect my thoughts before I continued downstairs, wiping my face and putting on my mask, one that didn’t let you see what went on inside me.

Goddess help me, I’d almost killed a guy by kissing him just now—and I knew exactly who was responsible for it.

Nobody at the bar saw me crying. I’d composed myself completely before I stepped onto the ground floor. They all asked where Ben was, and I said he was in the bathroom. Not sure if there even was a bathroom upstairs, and I didn’t much care if they even believed me, but they did look at me suspiciously.

Nobody stopped me, though, and as soon as I was out in the street, I ran to the nearest alley to disappear in the darkness as fast as I could.

Sonovabitch!

The sight of Ben on the floor like that was imprinted on the back of my lids. Killing criminals who’d done very bad things with magic and weapons, and killing players while under the influence of a magical rage was one thing—but to dothatto a guy just by kissing him?

I’m going to fucking murder him,I told myself in my head, and I would as soon as I saw Taland. Because he was the one to blame for this. Somehow,he’ddone this, even though he was nowhere to be seen.

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