Page 136 of Mud

But even knowing that since day one, I couldn’t help myself. I still felt him all the way to my core. I belonged to him, heart and body and soul. Even when I betrayed him,and even when he was locked in prison, and even when he gave me to his brothers to torture when I went to him for…death? Help? Escape?

I had no idea, but I went to him.

And then he watched and smiled from the shadows.

Suddenly, the memory of the pain his brothers had inflicted in me took over my mind, and I was back there again, chained to that chair, screaming. Looking at him for help, feeling so goddamn filthy for daring to.

Filthy.That’s what I was.

Except right now, physically I was clean. And dry. And had slept like a fucking baby when he jumped out of the window, and?—

My eyes popped open. I hadn’t been dreaming. It was still dark outside, and Taland was kneeling by the bed, looking down at me as he touched my lips, his eyes dark, the expression in them unreadable. I couldn’t tell you whether he wanted to kill me with his bare hands or kiss me until I stopped needing air.

He was really here.

My instincts were to move away, drag myself to the edge of the bed, get the hell out of the room altogether. My body, however, had a mind of its own when it came to Taland, so I froze and looked in his eyes, and despite my better judgment, I wished he’d keep touching me until the end of time.

Then he smiled.

A corner of his lips turned up and blood rushed to my cheeks instantly—it wasn’t a pleasant smile.

Now I had the urge to cover my face. “What?” I muttered, moving away slightly, angry that I had to.

“You really are deadly, sweetness,” he said, and a lumpformed in my throat from the sheer willpower I exerted to keep those stupid tears at bay.

I pushed myself to the other side of the bed like I should have done right away, and I grabbed my pants and my jacket. But the moment I stood up to put them on, Taland grabbed me and pressed my back against the wall, his hand around my neck.

“Your lips are my favorite poison,” he hissed, brows narrowed like he was fucking mad, then licked my bottom lip like he wanted to spread fire on my skin. I gripped his arm with the mind to push him off me, yet all I did was hold onto him harder. “I remember how good you are with them. I almost want to tell you to get on your knees right now.”

My stomach twisted and rolled, and my legs shook. Fuck this guy—and my body for getting hot and bothered instead of disgusted.

“But I won’t do that,” said Taland, slipping his tongue in my mouth next, and I didn’t stop him.

Fuck—I didn’t stop him, didn’t want to, and I sucked on his tongue instinctively instead.

Silly, silly Rora…

“You wanna know why?” he said, then pulled my bottom lip between his teeth and bit.

He bit and I moaned. I fucking moaned as my eyes squeezed shut and my arms gripped his jacket and I wanted to pull him closer, but…

“Because I know you’ll do it, sweetness.”

I stopped.

“And it’s just too embarrassing for you. I’m notthatcruel.”

This time, when my stomach twisted, it did so for a whole different reason. My hands were already on his chestand I pushed him back with all my strength while he laughed.

The fuckerlaughed.

My cheeks were heated up again. Tears pooling in my eyes.Fuck them and fuck him and fuck everything.

“Cruel? I wouldn’t use such mellow words, Taland. Handing me over to your brothers and smiling while they torture me—that’s not cruel. That’s downright monstrous.”

My voice shook.

Fuck, fuck, fuck—I shouldn’t have said anything. I should have just kept my mouth shut because I had no right to accuse him of that. Iris, I had no right to anything at all after what I’d done.