Page 119 of The Eighth Isle

“Not really. I don’t evenlookdifferent.”

“It’s still early, I think.” It was—we’d only been together for the first time just a couple of months ago, which was crazy to think about. It felt more like a couple of decades.

“I don’t really have an appetite or anything. And my boobs aren’t bigger either, right?”

“Nope. No, they’re not,” he said without hesitation, and it made me smile.

“Did you want kids, Grey?” I whispered. “We didn’t really talk about it before. I mean, we didn’t talk about pretty much anything at all, but this is different. This is…big.” It was a baby. An actual baby.

“Not really,” Grey said, making my heart skip a beat. “I never wanted kids. I was convinced I was going to die without one. I preferred it.” Well, fuck. “But I never thought about having kidswith you,” he continued, then slowly turned me around to face him. He was smiling so big he almost looked like a different man—especially wearing that pale blue shirt Marissa had brought him. “And the moment I found out?” He laughed. “Fuck, Fall. I want to have ten kids with you. A hundred kids. I want?—”

“No, no, no, no—stop!” I closed his mouth with my hands, laughing. “You arenotgoing to have a hundred kids with me,” I said. “Or even ten for that matter.” Was he kidding me?Tenkids?

He slammed me to his chest and kissed me. “I’ll settle for five.”

I couldn’t stop laughing “You’re a fool.”

“Yes, you’ve told me that before,” he muttered, planting kisses all over my face. “I’ll stay a fool my whole life, no problem.”

And I loved that he felt that way, really. But there was something inside me, that bad,awfulfeeling in my center that just wouldn’t let me breathe easy.

“What about you, baby? Did you ever want kids?” Grey said, and the question surprised me. “I never asked, and I feel like shit for not using protection, but believe me when I tell you that thisdoes nothappen.” He leaned back, and I saw the guilt in hiseyes just as clearly as I saw his happiness. “I would have used a condom, but no Evernight in history has ever sired an heir the first week—not even the first year. It’s a very well-known fact.”

“I know that. The brides told me,” I said. “I didn’t think it was possible, either. Otherwise I’d have insisted. I just…I genuinely never gave it a second’s thought.” The way the story of the Evernights went, I’d have felt silly to even assume this could be possible.

Grey nodded. “I didn’t know, baby. And I never asked, and I should have.”

“Don’t you dare go feeling guilty now, Grey,” I said with a laugh. He hadn’t done it on purpose. Neither of us had thought it possible.

Grey closed his eyes for a second, pushing my hair away from my face. “I don’t want to see you sad. Out of everything in the world, that kills me the most. Believe me, I know how it sounds, but it does.”

“I do believe you.” Hewas the most important thing for me, too. “And I don’t blame you, Grey.”

“But did you want toeverhave children?”

“I did. Not right now. Definitely not before my thirties, but I did. I always wanted a kid.” I always thought I could do a better job than my mom and Missy—and I was alwaysterrifiedthat I couldn’t at the same time.

“Good,” Grey said, and he was a bit relieved. “Getting to know you is quickly becoming the privilege of my life. I love it when you give me pieces of yourself.”

“Such pretty words,” I muttered, just to tease him.

He brought a hand to my stomach again, and I put mine over it instantly—it felt so natural, but…

“What if we never meet him?” My voice was small, and this I wanted to say even less, but I had to. I had to talk about it. I had to know whathewas thinking, too.

Grey’s muscles clenched for a moment. “I won’t let anybody hurt you,” he said.

“It’s notme—it’s the whole world. The entire Seven Isles,” I whispered. “It’s the end the stars talk about that terrifies me.”

“I know,” Grey said. “But Syra didn’t believe in it, and she knew better, didn’t she?”

“Maybe.” Though I doubted it, and I didn’t know why the fuck I doubted it. “What the hell did she do to me, Grey?”

But Grey didn’t have an answer for me.

He put his arms around me and let me rest on his chest for as long as I needed to get my shit together, and for now, that was enough. For now, that was all I was willing to face because I knew what happened when you leteverythingfall on your head at the same time. You became easy to manipulate, a prey to anyone on a hunt. You became naive and helpless and fucking doomed, so I was not going there again.

Whatever was going on, I’d deal with it one step at a time.

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