Page 165 of The Eighth Isle

It was painful—so goddamn painful, and it took my nervous system a good couple seconds to understand it was just a memory, so I panicked. Of course, I panicked—the future was so blurry. I couldn’t see what was going to happen at all. Frommy bedroom windows, I couldn’t see anything different about the world around me, either, except howalivethe Whispering Woods now was. How green the trees, how tall. How blue the sky and how golden the sun.

I couldn’t see how the Isles came together from here, though. I couldn’t see how the people felt, and though I knew that I would later that day, a big part of me just didn’t want to.

“It’s over,” I told the sky. It was over for good.

This moment in time was what I’d been wanting, praying for,beggingfor since the morning Grey was banished. This moment was all I’d wanted all this time—for all of the madness to just be over.

Now it was, but it wasn’t the same. It was over, but there was a hole in my chest that was threatening to absorb me completely if I let it, and every time I got those hot flashes, those memories of the day before, of all that magic leaving me, then entering me again, it got worse.

Because Valentine was gone.

He wasn’t here. He wasn’t coming. He was dead because of me.Undonebecause he’d stepped in front of the sirens to protect me while I ran.

Gone, and I couldn’t even say goodbye.

So much had changed already.

Genevieve was dead. Romin had found her in her chambers two days after I left the Woods. She’d poisoned herself with a witch potion. Had died painlessly and on the spot.

I could say that I was sad for her, but I’d be lying. And when Grey told me about it, he wasn’t sad, either. He didn’t even say that he would miss her—just that she was gone. After all she had done…God, forgive me, but good fucking riddance.

Now Grey was downstairs, speaking to his brothers. Tristian had survived, according to him, even though he’d ripped his brand-new wings off his back the day before. He’d had it coming,Tristian, but I still felt like shit about it. Grey forbade me from feeling guilty before we slept—actuallyforbademe from feeling anything bad at all regarding Tristian, and I was going to free myself of that guilt for sure. But it was going to take a little time, unfortunately. It wasn’t going to happen in a day, even if we did decide to stay in the castle.

Right now, nothing was certain. The Evernights would be hosting a meeting that could potentially last a few days to a few weeks with all the other rulers, Grey said. They needed a system, and he’d gone downstairs to start planning with Romin since dawn, but I’d chosen to stay in the room for a little while longer. Take a shower. Get dressed.

Just…breathe.

Everything was going to be okay. Reeva searched me with her magic—my baby was okay, too. That had been my biggest fear, and even though I was not looking forward to seeing an actual doctor with an ultrasound device, I trusted Reeva with all my heart. She would be staying here in the coming weeks, together with Mama Si, and I knew we’d have a good time together, as weird as that sounded.

It just wasn’t enough.

Eventually, my legs got tired, and I sat on the windowsill.

Eventually, I leaned against the wall and the tears dried completely.

Eventually, I saw movement through the corner of my eye.

My heart jumped, my body so hyperaware of everything it was painful. I was on my feet, looking out at the blue sky, just as something flew—incredibly fast—somewhere over my head.

I didn’t catch it. I didn’t see it, and common sense said it was a bird. Just a bird—there were so many of them around us now, singing the day away. Just a bird flying into the sky, that’s it.

But my instincts were on fire and my mind was racing. My legs were moving because I couldn’t see enough from thewindows and I needed to see up there. I needed to see the whole goddamn world right now.

Shadow,my mind echoed as I ran, completely breathless, my heart about to beat right out of me. It was Shadow flying around the tower, Shadow disappearing from my view, Shadow teasing me with that long tail that I was almostsure I saw before he disappeared above the window—almost.

And if Shadow was here…

My bare feet slammed against the stone floor and the stairs as I ran like I didn’t need air to survive. I didn’t really see anything at all as I climbed another two floors to get to the fifth, the large balcony of the third tower from where I’d have a much wider view of the Whispering Woods.

I pushed the door open, and my body locked down instantly, right there against the frame, and my eyes didn’t blink at all, and my heart didn’t beat.

Only my tears moved as they filled my eyes, though they hadn’t started falling yet.

Valentine was sitting on the railing, one leg up to rest his elbow on, his back against a pillar as he faced the sky.

Shadow was sitting on the railing right next to his foot.

A dream,my mind said. It was just a dream.

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