Page 146 of The Eighth Isle

“Thank you! I am, am I not? I did all of it, planned it all to perfection. Gave them both good jobs and a nice apartment, paid for the best wedding they could have dreamed of.Idid that—me!”

“After you tore them apart first, yes.” The pointed look she gave me made it impossible to keep from smiling any longer.

“Well, she cost me months of preparation,” she insisted.

“But you gotme,though. So, your luck evened out.”

She suddenly grinned mischievously. “That, it did. I’m thankful for you every day, Fall Doll.” She reached out her gloved hand for my face, but I moved away on instinct—when she touched me, she used to release her magic on me, manipulate me without even trying. She manipulated my decisions since the first day I came here with that calming magic of hers, and my body hadn’t forgotten.

But Mama Si didn’t seem offended when she put her hand down on her lap, then continued to swing her feet forward and back in the water of the pool.

“You’re different with me,” I said, despite my better judgment. “The girls said you talked about me.”

“Of course, I did. Youaredifferent,” Mama Si said.

And I knew half of it was probably manipulation and she was going to sugarcoat things for me, but to this day I still wanted to figure this woman out. Even after everything, I still wanted to understand her somehow.

“Why, though? Why am I different to you? I’m not the first bride to be chosen by the Evernights.” The first of Emil’s brides—Zoe—was from the Burrow, too.

“Of course not. They’ve chosen many human offerings from me through the centuries—I frankly lost count after the twentieth.” Right—because she’d been alive since Ennaris became the Seven Isles. “And there have been others who’ve…remainedwith me, in a way. None as much as you, though.”

“But why?” Because I’d been naive and unlucky enough to fall in her lap at the right time?

“Because you’re honest,” Mama Si said with a shrug. “Because you’re courageous. And most importantly, because once someone wins you over, you’re loyal to a fault, Fall Doll. Even in the face of the end, a time when anyone at all would have caved, you choose to stick it out. You choose to fight. Peopledon’t do that anymore, you know. Theydon’t fight.They just”—she thought about it for a second—“settle.”

“They do fight. Grey always fought. And Reeva, too,” I muttered, as uncomfortable as ever when receiving a compliment, especially from someone like Mama Si.

“Of course, yes. Master Grey, who kept to himself and didn’t get close to anyone, who never tried for anything different, who always stuck to the sidelines—until you. And Reeva, who gave up on living the moment she saw the end,” Mama Si said, smiling sheepishly at me. “Which is not to say it’s wrong. Most people do that—they need guaranteed hope to push through, whereas you…”

I pursed my lips. “I’m delusional enough to just go with it.” Except it wasn’t asnobleas Mama Si thought. I simply went with it because I didn’t care about myself, about dying.

Or, at least, I didn’t care before Grey.

She laughed again. “Delusional enough to go after a mad dragon on a frozen mountain, yes,” she said, laughing. “That was very inspiring, by the way. A breath of fresh air—and a miracle you didn’t die.”

I shook my head, smiling. “I had no choice.” It was about Grey. I was going to die anyway, so I’d figured I might as well do something to try to find him first.

“We always have choices, Fall Doll.”

“Not me.” I’d had choices taken away from me more often than not.

“You could have chosen any of the brothers—or all. You could have chosen Master Valentine. I keep thinking, you know, if you’d chosen him, I don’t think he’d have gone through with it.”

My fault, my fault, my fault.

The words were like bees stinging me everywhere at once.

“Valentine doesn’t love me in that way.” He and I knew this perfectly well.

“Yes, but I do wonder if.If,” Mama Si whispered.

If I’d chosen Valentine. If I’d figured out what he was planning to do in the beginning.

If I’d chosen one of the others after Grey. If I’d just sucked it up and chosenpower.

If I’d even chosen to side with Syra.

If, if, if…

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