Page 70 of Mama Si's Paradise

“So, what happens now?” Because I was here and I was calm, getting calmer by the second as she caressed my hand. My heart was no longer galloping in my chest and I could breathe fully just fine.

I’d seen. I was looking at the impossible right now, was surrounded by it, and it was time I knew what happened next.

“Now, you get in the water,” Mama Si said, and it was like a slap to my face. My knees shook.

“What?” Did she saywater? The same water where that siren was?

No, no—sirens,plural. Because I could see more of them popping out of the surface, one in front of each boat. And the shadows in the water right in front of ours made me realize that that siren—Sedelis—was still there.

“The water, Fall Doll. You get in the water, and then the spirits of the Whispering Woods come out to taste your worth.”

Every inch of me was covered in goose bumps by the time she finished speaking.Taste your worth.

My mouth opened and closed a hundred times before I was able to produce voice, all that calm gone right into the ocean. “Taste my worth, how?”

“Breathe,” Mama Si said, and I did. I was fucking breathing, but breathing didn’t change her words. Breathing didn’t change the fact that I was about to get in that water, that same fucking water where the siren was. I shivered so hard you’d think the air was cold. I couldn’t even feel the heat of the sun, not so close to that Isle made out of darkness that seemed to suck everything good out of the world into itself—even the water of the ocean. It wasn’t blue, but a dark grey around it.

“All in due time, all in due time…” Mama Si whispered, caressing my hand still, and my eyes moved so fast—from the dragons and the torn pink wings and the witch hat and the girls that looked so brave as they kept their heads up, so much braver than me. I took it all in as slowly as I could, but before the minute was even over, the head of the siren popped out of the water.

Sedelis smiled at me, suddenly looking perfect again now that her eyes were locked on mine.

“They’re ready,” she whispered. “It’s time.”

Mama Si turned to me with the biggest smile I’d ever seen on her face. “You’re ready, Fall Doll. I believe in you.”

Unfortunately, I didn’t believe in me at all.

The waterof the ocean reflected the sunlight so beautifully, except now all I saw was siren eyes and my heart jumped at the reminder every few seconds. I held onto the edge of the boat, slowly moving my legs over it, my heels touching the water.

If I didn’t die out of fear in those moments, I was going to fucking live forever.

“Can I just…can I justseeher?” I said because in my mind all I could see was under the surface of the ocean where there were a million sirens waiting to devour me.

“Sedelis, come out,” Mama Si said the next moment as she held onto my shoulders, giving me comfort.

Sedelis broke the surface a few feet away, revealing only her eyes, but through them it was easy to see there was a smile on her face hidden by the water.

“Don’t look at her. Keep your eyes on the Woods,” Mama Si instructed. “You will be all right, Fall Doll. Trust the process.”

Trust the process.What a ridiculous concept, considering where I was and what I was about to do.

But I had gathered all the courage my body could carry, so I dipped my legs in the water without giving myself too much time to think, and it was nice. The water wasn’t cold. It didn’t freeze me like I’d feared.

“There. Like that,” said Mama Si, helping me up on the edge. “You don’t have to swim. Just hold onto the boat when you’re in the water.”

“Mama Si, I?—”

“Go. You’re ready, Fall Doll.Jump!” And she pushed me.

I let go and my body seemed to be sucked into the water instantly even though I was holding onto the edge of the boat that didn’t budge, didn’t move a single inch.

My God, I was in the water.

I was in the water withsirens.

I turned, holding onto the wood with all my strength because I needed to see Sedelis. I needed to know that she wasn’t too close to me, and she wasn’t. Still four feet away. Still far enough.

“Breathe deeply, doll,” Mama Si instructed, crouched overat the tip of the boat. “Breathe. Don’t let the looks of her intimidate you. She only gains more power that way.”

---