Page 47 of Mama Si's Paradise

They didn’t attack me. They didn’t bite. They just squeaked softly and waited, their big beady eyes looking up at me expectantly.

I must have lost my damn mind because I was reaching out both shaking hands to touch the backs of their heads just slightly.

Their fur lit the hell up instantly as soon as I felt the heat of their bodies and they felt the heat of mine.

Pulling my lips inside my mouth, I reminded myself that if I screamed, I was going to scare them. If I screamed, they were going to run, and despite the absurdity of this situation, I wanted them to stay here. I wanted to keep touching them and try to figure out whyin the fucktheir fur was glowing.

So, I bit my tongue and I kept my hands on them and watched them glow until I wasn’t even shaking anymore.

More animals were coming closer to me from behind the trees, too. More hares, smaller ones with brown fur. A couple of hedgehogs, keeping their distance as they watched me from afar. A few beavers—and a fox.

My God, an orange fox with a black and white tail was right there behind the hares, looking at me as her gorgeous tail swooshed to the sides slowly. Her brown eyes watched me curiously, and I had no idea how I knew it was ashe, but there was no doubt in my mind about it.

“Won’t you come closer?” I asked, and even my voice sounded strange. It sounded almost like I was inside, not in a woods. Almost like the whole woods was inside somewhere, and I still didn’t care. I wanted to see more, to know if the fur of that fox would light up if I touched it, to see if I could get the branches to do the same if I touched the trees for long enough.

Fuck, I wanted to stay here forever, until I’d learned every inch and every tree and every color these animals glowed at the touch of my hand.

Owls hanging out on the branches all around me, too. I adored birds, adored their song, but I’d always found owls freaky as hell with their big round eyes and expressionless faces and their hooting.

Not these, though. All these animals fascinated me, butright now I really wanted to touch that fox, so I slowly stood up and went to her.

“Mind if I pet you, pretty fox?” I asked in my kindest voice, expecting her to start running.

Instead, the fox looked at me for a good second, then lay down on the ground, resting her head on her black paws.

I didn’t even hesitate. I just ran my hand down her back slowly, and her fur glowed orange right away.

Tears pricked the back of my eyes and I couldn’t stop smiling like an idiot.

“You glow, too,” I whispered to myself, laughing now, shoulders shaking, tears spilling out of my eyes.

The other smaller animals were at me again, surrounding me on all sides, and I touched all that I could reach until the forest came alive with blues and oranges and pinks, with fireflies that were coming closer each new minute.

It looked like I’d finally found the magicMama Si had talked about in the Paradise, and now Ineverwanted to leave here for real.

When I stood up to continue exploring, the animals followed me. It was darker in the woods when I wasn’t touching them, but the pink fireflies seemed to have multiplied, and they stayed ahead, guiding me because I had no clue where I had come from or where I was going. They did, though. And I followed until I was in a wide clearing and finally saw the blue sky and the stars again.

Funny thing was, I no longer heard the sound of the ocean.

My legs were a bit numb, though. I must have walked for longer than I’d realized because I really needed to sit and rest for a minute. It wasn’t like I could get lost here…could I? Right now, I couldn’t make out the mansion from here because of the trees, but it would be close, possibly within running distance. Nothing to worry about. So, I sat with the animals in front of the nearest tree, rested my back against it, and I let go of a long breath.

My God, the way the clearing looked from here.

Pink fireflies around me. Glowing animal fur surrounding me. The open sky and the gorgeous trees and that smell—of salt and of earth. No scent of roses here, I noticed. And it was so damn peaceful I couldn’t help the smile on my face.

My eyes drifted shut as the animals settled, most of them already half asleep. The fox had come with, too, and she had wrapped her tail all around herself, eyes closed and breathing even. The hedgehogs still kept a good distance, and the owls still stayed on the branches, and birds were singing somewhere in the distance. I heard them even though I didn’t see them, and my heart about burst with joy. The ground and the wood of the tree was softer than a damn mattress underneath me somehow, and my hand fell on a piece of wood rising from the ground—a root. A single root to the tree behind me, almost like it was reaching its hand out to hold mine. I held it, too.

The melody of my favorite song on the piano played inside my head, matching the song of the birds. I heard every note as clearly as if it was real. It was a sad song, slow and heartbreaking, but at the same time it gave me energy. At the same time that melody gave me hope so I clung to it. After all, my only good memory that wasn’t even fully a memory was of when I played the piano. When I was a teenager and I broke into my high school building and I locked myself in the music room until dawn, trying to make music. Teaching myself how to play the piano and the guitar, the flute, and even the drums.

That feeling was unlike any other. The release it gave me. The fulfillment.

Eventually, something underneath me began to move.

My eyes opened just a slit, and a funny thought occurredto me—underground snakes were slithering their way right underneath me.

I wasn’t scared, though. Something must have been really wrong with me, because I eagerly waited for them to come out instead, but…

It wasn’t snakes moving underneath me. It waswood.

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