Page 39 of Mama Si's Paradise

My breath caught in my throat. Something came over me, cold and hot at the same time, and it was a damn miracle I didn’t collapse.

“Took you long enough,” the man said, sitting in a velvet armchair at the foot of the bed, a glass of whiskey in hand.

“Uh…hi.” The room was spinning.

Please, please, please,I begged whoever would listen.Please stop spinning. Please let me breathe.

“Yes,hi,” the man said, flinching. “This the best you got?” My mouth opened and closed and opened and closed…please don’t let go,I begged my legs.

A deep sigh. A furious face rub.

Then, he said, “Whatever, I guess. I’m Brandon.”

It was like the sky finally fell on my head after expecting it to for such a long time.

I broke into pieces right there in front of the stranger, and I was laughing. I was fucking laughing like a lunatic because why the hell not? After everything,thisis what the universe decided to tease me with.This.

“Are you okay?” the guy said.Brandonsaid, and he slowly put his drink down.

He was a handsome guy—dark brown, slightly longer hair combed behind his head, big brown eyes, thin long lips and a perfectly square jaw. He wore a baby pink button-up that revealed his wide shoulders perfectly, and the pants of his silver suit hung low on his hips, and his hands…I couldn’t really see his hands. They were so blurry.

“Are you…are youcrying?” he said, stopping in the middle of the room for a second as he watched me, positively terrified.

“No, no, I—” My voice cut off when I felt the wetness on my cheeks. I was fucking crying—now of all times.

Right now, my body decided it wanted to produce tears.

“Okay, this is fucked up,” the guy said. “This is, uh….I’m gonna leave. Just stay right there—I’m not gonna come close to you. I’m just gonna leave.” And he reached for his suit jacket lying on the foot of the bed.

Poor guy looked like he might start running, too, if I kept this up. If I laughed and cried in front of him like a fucking madwoman.

“No, wait,” I choked, wiping my cheeks, probablytogether with the makeup Adam had put on me. “Wait, please.”

“It’s fine. I need to get back to work, anyway,” he said, putting his jacket on, so pale he resembled a damn ghost.

Oh, God. “Please, don’t. Just…don’t leave.” Because if he left, what was I going to tell Mama Si? It would mean that I wasn’t fit to be here, to do this job. It would mean I had to leave the Paradise.

“You’re crying,” the man said, walking all the way to the wall to get to the door. “I’m not sure why, but you don’thaveto be here. Nobody will force you to do anything, okay? If they do, there are police officers and lawyers and?—”

“No!” I cut him off, stepping in front of the curtains. “No, that’s not it at all. Nobody’s forcing me. Please, just…” The last of the stupid tears slid down my cheeks and I wiped them. “It’s just my first time, okay? I just came to the Paradise two weeks ago. It’s just my first time.”

The guy stopped moving for a second, then stepped back, looking as uncomfortable in his skin as I was.

“Yours, too?” he then said, and I started laughing again. Because wasn’t it funny? I was here of my own free will, and the Paradise was actually the only place where people—evenmy client—were concerned about what I wanted and what I didn’t want. They were concerned about me being forced to do something, and that was fucking hilarious.

No more tears slipped out of me, and this laughter was different. Even he,Brandon, the client,seemed to notice it, and that’s why he was smiling. A very handsome guy, indeed, especially when he grabbed his hips and shook his head, causing strings of hair to fall on his forehead.

“I’m Autumn,” I finally choked.

He nodded. “I like that name.”

I wiped my hands on the denim of my skirt. “I hate yours, though. Mind if I call youJohnny?”

He laughed. He threw his head back and he laughed a hoarse, throaty laugh. “Why do you want to call me Johnny?”

“Because your name is also my ex’s name,” I said. “The same ex who brought me here—cheated, then kicked me out with nothing but train money.” He stopped laughing, but I couldn’t stop talking. “Knowing full well I have nowhere to go, and I left home to come here with him and I didn’t work or go to college because he wanted me home taking care of him, so now I’m pretty much a useless piece of meat—but Johnny Depp is one of my favorite actors, and your hair kinda reminds me of him, so…” I paused to take a breath. “How about it?”

I don’t know what the hell did it. I hadn’t even told Amber any of this—or Adam or Marissa, with whom I spent the most time daily. I don’t know why I was suddenly crying in front of this stranger or why I gave him my life’s story like that, but it felt great. It felt like I got a big load off my chest—and most important, the guy didn’t look like he was thinking about leaving anymore.

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