Page 34 of Mama Si's Paradise

“Exactly,” she said, thinking Icouldn’tcome up with a hundred reasons why this wasn’t okay.

But then Mr. Patrick laughed while Celia read about how the whale had sneezed Pinocchio and his father out of its belly, and I flinched. He really, genuinely seemed happy, and Celia was laughing with him, too. There wasn’t a hint on her face or her posture to suggest that she was uncomfortable in there—on the contrary. She seemed perfectly at ease.

And it just baffled me.

“Come. Let’s keep going.”

A hand on my shoulder. I looked up to find Mama Si moving for the door.

With my eyes still stuck on the window, I moved backward until I was out of the room, and Assa closed the door in front of me, giving me a moment to breathe in deeply.

Then Mama Si said, “Ready for the next one?”

I wasn’t. I most definitely wasn’t, but I was far too curious to say so, so all I did was follow her to the next room.

In it was a young man sitting at a big desk with three computer screens on it, while Melahni stood behind him by the wall with a tray in her hand, looking ahead, not moving a single inch. She wore possibly the sexiest outfit I’d ever seen, a slutty maid with a shiny latex skirt that showed her panties made of the same fabric, a tiny blue apron in the front, her waist completely bare, and her bra the exact same, too. She wore six-inch pumps, just like always, and her hair was done in tight curls that looked like a black mane around her head. Her makeup was heavier than I was used to seeing on her, black smokey eyes and bold red lips she pulled off phenomenally.

“That’s Mr. Fitz, one of the best programmers in the world—and he just turned twenty-four,” Mama Si told me. “He comes here to work, has designed his room exactly the way he always dreamed about when he was a teenager.” She waved her hand toward the glass to show me the room wasindeed very different from the one where Celia was reading to Mr. Patrick. This one had a wall made out of rock on the far left for actual climbing, with ropes and everything. It had a pool table and a large dinosaur to its side that looked real enough to start moving any second. The carpet was in a camouflage pattern and the walls were covered in Playboy Magazine covers framed in silver. TV screens everywhere, each showing something different, from the Discovery Channel to FashionTV to Fox News to Disney. There was no bed, just a big grey couch across from the largest screen in the room, right in front of the window we were looking through. Lego figures all over the floor. Play Stations and Xboxes and all kinds of devices I couldn’t even recognize, yet the man sat behind his desk and typed furiously on his keyboards, while Melahni stayed behind him, barely blinking.

“He stays for days at a time when he has bigger projects. Says he has a similar room at his house, but it just isn’t quite the same as the Paradise,” said Mama Si with a chuckle at the end. “Nothing is quite the same as my Paradise.”

I looked at her, at a loss for words. “That’s…that’s…”

“Simply a man who has specific needs that we are more than happy to meet,” she finished for me, then grabbed my hand in hers. “Come, Fall Doll. Let’s go.”

My eyes were stuck on Melahni still, the way she stood there so comfortably, like she didn’t find it odd to be holding an empty tray and wearing what she was wearing, while being in that room with a guy who was so focused on his screen I doubted he remembered she was even there. I couldn’t stop staring at her until Assa closed the door again.

Pressing my back against the wall, I took a second to just call for order in my head.

“Take your time,” Mama Si told me, coming to stand beside me with her arms crossed. “It’s a lot to take in, but theoverwhelming feeling will fade once you understand the Paradise.”

I shook my head, eyes squeezed shut still. I was trying to keep an open mind here, and I wasn’t judging. God, I wasn’t judging at all, but it was still so goddamn strange to see these things like that.

“Most men are such simple creatures, Fall Doll. They just want to feel like men. They want to feel power, whateverpowermeans to them,” Mama Si calmly said. “They were meant to be captains, steer their ships, and they crave a smooth sailing, but not many handle it well out there in the world. It’s mostly related to women. Men do everythingforus, even if sometimes it might not seem like it.”

“They do a lot for themselves,” I mumbled. Brandon did. His career had been his number one priority his whole life. I’d always liked that about him.

“Oh, but they don’t. The goal of work and money and appearances and everythingthey engage in is to ultimatelyget girls.” She laughed, and it wasn’t as pleasant as usual. “But most lose their heads in the process and they most definitely do not sail smoothly, so then when women refuse to board their rocky sinking ship, they lash out—it’s a very natural process. They can’t even help it.”

The way she was smiling, you’d think she feltsorryfor them.

“But when they come here, they can let go. They can give up. They can get all the benefits without putting in the effort. They can be captains without the responsibility. They can claim the power and feel likemen.” She raised her fisted hands as she spoke, oh-so-passionately.

“So, you’re tricking them,” I concluded, which surprised her.

“Not in the least. If anything, I help them figure out whatthey’re looking for. Most leave my Paradise and go on to find it,” she told me.

I wanted to believe her. She made it difficult not to when she spoke with so much confidence.

“So that’s it? This is all people come here for?” I wondered, nodding back at the door we’d just come out of—E24.

Again, Mama Si laughed—she seemed to be in a great mood tonight. “Oh, no, doll. Certainly notall. Come, let me show you.”

She and Assa started walking deeper down the corridor, leaving me to follow. I gave myself another second to pretend I was ready to see whatever was behind the third door. In the back of my mind, I had already started the game of convincing myself—I can do this. This isn’t bad. I can read books to people and stay in a room with them while they work. I can do this!

The third room they took me to was darker than the first two. That’s because the lights in there were low, and they were blue and pink.

I stepped inside the spy room and I stopped in my tracks.

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