Page 25 of Mama Si's Paradise

Iwasbreathing in, but it wasn’t making any difference because I was already here. I was at the fucking party. And I wanted to run back and hide in my room so badly I was shaking.

“Keep moving,” Adam said, pushing me forward just slightly, and I did. My body was on autopilot, and I was moving, walking deeper into the large, round room full of people dressed like they were from another planet, most wearing masks on their faces, just like me, some with wings on their backs and horns on their heads. So many gemstones sparkling under the dim lights. So many sequins. So many masks.

Thankfully I was hiding behind one, too.

“That’s right—chin up, eyes ahead,” Adam whispered under his breath. The music coming from the band at the center of the room wasn’t loud, so I heard him clearly. “You got this. Just keep moving.”

“What—”

Adam let me go.

Moving swiftly to the right, he disappeared like the beautiful carpet on the floor had swallowed him whole, and I lost my anchor. I was fucking floating in the room, and for a second there I genuinely thought I was going to fall down.

And that pissed me off.

I could walk, damn it. I’d made a decision to come to this party. It was aparty—with people in it, not wild animals. I could handle a fucking party.

No more being terrified of fancy dresses and sparkly gemstones.No more.They were just people.

I breathed again, and this time, my heart actually sloweddown the beating. I no longer searched for Adam, just put one foot in front of the other, and I kept moving deeper into the crowd, focused on my surroundings.

The more of the room I saw, the more in awe I was, the easier it got to forget that I’d been about to pass out just now.

Statues made out of ice were close to the walls, most depicting naked women. Flowers so big they looked fake but were very real. Glass cases full of masks in all sizes and shapes were put on display atop golden stands with small limelights focused on them from the corners of the ceiling. The people were all dressed impeccably, but when my eyes landed on Mama Si at the other end of the room, surrounded by a small crowd mingling around the gorgeous cocktail tables, I stopped in my tracks.

She wore red from head to toe—a red mask, a red sequin dress, red gloves that reached over her elbows, and red shoes, too. Her red lips looked drawn, her hair done in big waves that seemedwetas they fell around her shoulders.Perfect—that’s the word that came to mind. She was absolutely perfect.

And she saw me, too.

Her smile was like watching petals open up on a flower. She brought her gloved hands to her chest and took a step toward me, a single step.

You made it, Fall Doll.

I read the words on her lips, and it felt like I was hearing her voice whispering in my ear.

And theneveryoneturned to me.

They must have seen Mama Si watching me because suddenly every person who’d been around her was looking at me—and they weresmiling. She raised her hands toward me as if beckoning me to go to her, and I was feeling so out of place in this room, so desperate to not be alone, that I started walking again. I knew Mama Si. I could talk to Mama Si. Iwouldn’t feel like I was a stranger in my own skin when she spoke to me—so to her I went.

She looked at me like I was the love of her life, but that wasn’t what got to me. Her friends, at least fifty people who were standing around her near those cocktail tables were all looking at me the same way—like they knew me, they knew everything about me, and they all suddenly loved me to death.

It was like spiders crawling all over my skin, their attention, and it tookagesjust to get to Mama Si and take her gloved hands in mine.

“You look like a dream, Fall Doll,” she said, pulling me back toward one of the cocktail tables. “Let me look at you. Raise your head.”

I did. “So many people,” I breathed. “I didn’t realize it was this big a party.” Though I hadn’t really given it much thought, to be honest. I’d just wanted to hang out with those girls.

How silly of me, now that I thought about it. How utterly silly of me to want to belong in a place like this.

“Oh, nonsense! It’s not too big. Barely two hundred people are attending,” Mama Si said with a short laugh, waving me off. Her eyes startled me—they looked more red than any other color right now, surrounded by that red mask full of rhinestones and feathers. “This dress was the right choice. And those lips, too. My, my, Fall Doll. You steal my breathaway.”

Heat crawled up my cheeks instantly. “I-I-I…thank you,” I stuttered, turning to avoid her eyes for a moment, only to realize that the people were still looking at me as they sipped their drinks. Still smiling.

“You’re very welcome,” Mama Si said, then turned back to look at someone—Assa, wearing a pink suit with a crisp white shirt underneath. A gorgeous white mask with pink featherscovered the right side of her face. “Assa, we need a drink here. Something sour, not very sweet.”

“Coming right up,” Assa said, and Mama Si laced her arm to mine, pulling me to face the room with her. “I’ve hosted these masquerades once a month for about three years now. It’s become a tradition. Nothing I love more than people with masks.”

“They…uh, everything looks beautiful,” I muttered, trying to keep my focus on the walls, the chandeliers, the paintings, the decor—not the people. Not all of them were staring at me, though, just the ones closest to Mama Si around the cocktail tables. The rest seemed to be having the time of their lives with each other—and I found the girls, too. Melahni with a gorgeous purple and pink dress, and Eva in a silvery white one—and Hannah.

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