Page 192 of Mama Si's Paradise

By the time I opened my eyes, he pulled me up to sit on his lap while he leaned back against the headboard. He wrapped me in his arms like I was a damn baby in need of cuddling, and unfortunately for me, I had no complaints whatsoever. I just wrapped my arms around his neck and held on tight.

“It doesn’t matter. This has happened before.”

“It has?”

“Twice that we know of. When a bride’s blood is compatible with all living Evernights, the bride herself chooses who she wants to be with—and you did.”

Ice in my veins. “I did.” I remembered it now. I remembered all of them with the marks, those black veins drawn all over their chests and necks like tattoos—the marks that had already faded on Grey’s skin. Not a sign of them remained anywhere on him.

My blood was compatible withallof them, but when I’d been asked to choose…

“I was delirious.” I had no idea what the hell I was doing. I was living purely on instinct, trying to cool the heat that was scorching me from within, and Grey’s bite had done that for me so well—better than all. His hand had been so cold in mine. He’d become my own personal heaven. I’d been so fucking desperate for him…

“That’s part of the Blood Call,” Grey said. “It’s not fair at all, but it’s the only way to let nature decide. The only way to take common sense and logic and overthinking and overanalyzing out of the equation, and function only based on our most primal instincts.” His hand cupped the side of my head and he looked at me like he was begging me to see inside his mind, to know what he was thinking. “Your blood chose me.Youchose me. You were made for me, Fall.”

I shook my head, turning away.

This time, he let me.

“Valentine,” I whispered because I’d been so connected to the guy. Not attracted to him sexually, but he’d been my fucking salvation during the weeks I’d been locked up in this castle. He’d protected me. He’d given me that piano. He’d given me my freedom, despite the fact that I’d chosen to come back here to warn him.

“Valentine is a very cunning young man,” Grey said. Iturned to look at him. “No, I’m not saying that because I’m jealous—though I am. Make no mistake, I’ve never wanted to kill a man more, but that’s not why I’m saying it.”

I got off his lap, feeling like I was suffocating already. “I think I need a moment.” I needed a million moments by myself to try to figure this out.

“Fall, he was never meant to choose you. I was,” Grey whispered, and he touched my shoulder, pulling me a little to face him.

But I couldn’t. I knew that if I saw his face again, if I saw those eyes, if I felt at home in his body like that, I’d have already lost the battle. “I just need some time to myself, okay?” I said, keeping my eyes squeezed shut, pulling the sheets around me as if I was suddenly aware that I was naked. We both were.

“Of course,” Grey said after a loaded moment of silence, and the next second, he was off the bed. I covered myself and kept my head down, feeling like I was carrying the whole world on my shoulders again.

I didn’t dare look at him, didn’t dare make a single sound.

My God, I was breaking, and I had no idea why.

“You can change your mind, you know.”

At that, I turned to the door. Grey was right in front of it wearing his black sweatpants and a white short-sleeved shirt, his hand on the handle.

“What?”

Already he looked like the Grey I remembered, the Grey I’d grown so used to seeing every day in this castle. NotmyGrey.

“You are free to change your mind about your choice. I won’t get in your way, I swear it.”

“Grey,” I said because he couldn’t possibly think that I’d regretted it.

How could he, when he claimed he heard my blood, when he claimed he knew when something was wrong or right?

But Grey said nothing, just slipped out the door in silence and left me alone with my misery, clutching the sheets to my chest tightly.

Fuck, I wanted to call him back so badly. Of course, I didn’t regret choosing him—he felt better than anything ever before. Better than playing my heart out on the piano. I had never been more whole, moremethan these little moments I’d shared with him today.

“I don’t want to change my mind,” I thought I whispered to the empty room. “I just want to understand.”

But Grey didn’t come back, even though part of me was wishing that he would. That he was still by the door and that he’d hear me and that he’d be back on the bed with me, forcing me stay on his lap while I pretended I wanted to be away because I should.

I was all alone in the big room again, feeling a thousand times smaller, without a single clue what the hell I was going to do next.

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