Page 160 of Mama Si's Paradise

Shit, shit, shit,I chanted under my breath as I followed Emerald down the dark corridor, not entirely sure I cared where she was taking me at that point. It could be a trap—she could be taking me straight to the Whispering Woods again, and I had no clue why that thought appealed to me. It fucking appealed to me when I’d gone through all of this to get out. To be free. When I’dsufferedevery day locked up in that tower and had mourned my freedom.

Now, I found I didn’t mind it one bit if I just went back.

Easier. Simpler. So much less guilt.

And Valentine would remain alive.

I only saw glimpses of where we were going—a kitchen with red cabinets and a hallway with a painting of a pink winged fairy on the wall; two sets of double doors and another library, this one much smaller. Then we were in a wider space, though still underground, but the corridor that looked like a tunnel was so much bigger, the ceiling higher, and other faeries werethere, going about their business all around us.

“Keep going, Doll. Just keep going,” Emerald said whenshe found me staring at the maze of corridors we were in with my mouth wide open.

We walked for a good few minutes, and fairies watched me suspiciously every step of the way. I pulled my shawl around my head tighter. Not that it helped, but I focused on Emerald’s torn wings as I went, and I tried not to let my thoughts get the best of me.

I failed.

“Here we are,” Emerald said after turning corners and finally stopping in front of a dark doorway carved into the grey rock, as if to remind me that we were under the Aerie’s surface still.

“What’s that?” I whispered, unsure of anything anymore with images in front of my eyes that made little sense and feelings in my chest that weren’t even mine—as well as the guilt that was trying to squash me under.

“Come,” said Emerald, taking my hand in hers as she pulled me forward. “We’re in the first of nine levels of the Aerie’s Cliff, and this room here leads upstairs to the surface…” She was pointing at an opening on the ceiling in the small round room, with a ladder made out of rope hanging on the edge. I could barely make out the sky outside it. The sun was already setting.

“And this little rabbit hole will lead you to the human world on the other side.” Half the hole she pointed at now was on the floor, the other half on the wall, and it was as dark as the sky of the Whispering Woods inside it. “It’s a long slide, and I’ve never actually been myself, but it’s supposed to take you all the way to a place…I forget the name,” she muttered, rubbing her fingers together as she searched her memories. “Georgia, I think. Georgia—is there such a place?”

“There is,” I choked. Georgia—a country in the real world. Arealplace where I could have my freedom.

“Well, then, just jump in. The magic won’t stop you,”Emerald said. “And like I said—don’t be afraid. The Evernights will never be able to find you again.” She leaned in closer and whispered, “You’resafe!”

She was smiling so lovingly at me that I was instantly reminded of Mama Si.

She’d seemed so genuine to me, too, once. She’d said the right words, had smiled the right smiles. She’d told me everything I wanted to hear, too.

A second of silence passed as I tried to pick an instinct to stick to.

“Go ahead then. Off you go. Home, where you belong,” said Emerald with a wave of her hand.

My eyes were stuck on that hole on the side of the room, then the one on the ceiling, showing a deep grey sky over us that was getting darker by the minute.

Thiswas everything I’d wanted. This was everything I’d prayed for—a way back home.

So, what the hell was I doing, thinking about guilt and Valentine and fuckingGrey?

Why wasn’t I moving yet?

Move, Fall!

“Thank you, Emerald,” I whispered, moving toward the dark hole that looked like a monster about to swallow me whole. “I appreciate your help, even if I don’t know why you’re doing it.”

She shrugged. “You really look desperate, Doll. Maybe you should try on a smile every once in a while.”

I shook my head. “Do you mind giving me a second?”

Her brows shot up. “Of course, yes. I need to get back to work, anyway. I open with nightfall.”

“And I’m just going to take a second to stop shaking before I go. That okay?”

“Of course. But if someone asks you, be sure not to mention my name,” she whispered and winked at me.

“Promise,” I said as she slowly retreated down the tunnel outside the doorway.

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