Page 106 of Mama Si's Paradise

Then, there was the grand piano to my right.

A black piano covered by dust that made it look grey. It was on the very edge of the small stage and it almost looked abandoned—just like I’d felt my whole life. Just shoved to the side, overlooked, left to collect dust.

“This room was built some ninety years ago by one of my ancestors who fancied himself a dramatist and built this stage to basically entertain himself. It’s the only piano we have, I’m afraid,” Valentine said, then he stepped forward, closer to the edge of the stage, and he raised a hand toward the piano.

He raised a hand and waved his fingers, and the dust rose as if each particle was being pulled by invisible strings.Only one of the limelights on the ceiling was working, but it was enough to make that dust sparkle like magic glitter, likestardustas it floated in the air following Valentine’s hand, slowly, steadily, and then it disappeared right into the ceiling.

“So, what do you say, Sunshine? Do you want to give it a try, see if it still works?”

No more fight left in me.

On the inside, I screamed. On the outside, I barely gave a nod, and then went over to the bench that now looked almost brand new, with shaking legs and a hammering heart. Valentine could hear it, and I knew that my composed face wasn’t fooling him, but I really didn’t mind that he was here now or that his dragon was flying in circles over us. I just pulled open the board and took in the keys, so smooth under my fingertips. Exactly like home.

My stomach did a flip, my instincts trying to warn me. The last time I was given a piano just like that, I was willing to believe anything a complete stranger promised me. I was willing to give up an entire world just to be able to play this every night, thinking I’d have my freedom.

This piano was very real, not made out of tree roots, but the meaning behind it was the same. I was being given what I wanted most, and I was learning that things like that didn’t come at no cost. They were never really free—on the contrary. I’d have to pay a price for this. I knew it, and right now I agreed. Right now, I was going to play just to feel at home in my skin for a moment. Just this once.

“What will you want as payback if I play a song?” I asked Valentine, who was standing right behind me.

A pause. “Nothing.”

I looked back at him. He was a damn liar. They wereallliars, and I wouldn’t allow myself to trust a word out of their mouths again, but I still couldn’t make myself stand up fromthat bench. So, I nodded, and I turned to the keys again, and I began to play my favorite song.

The sound of it was different because we were in a closed space, not like that clearing in the Blood Burrow. It was different, but still the same. It stillawakenedme like nothing else ever could, and my fingers were slow at first, but they picked up the tempo without my having to even think about it a few seconds in. I couldn’t tell you what it was about the melody that filled the air, my ears, my heart—it just understood me. It knew me inside and out, and I sort of allowed myself to be everything I was when I played.

“May I?”

The melody suffered a terrible twist as my body jumped and my fingers froze at the sound of Valentine’s voice.

He was looking at the edge of the bench, asking me if he could sit with me.

Funny, I’d always wanted someone to sit with me when I played, so I could show them who I was without words. Maybe that’s why I found myself nodding—or maybe I simply did it so he could let me get back to my melody.

Valentine sat at the very edge, never even touching me, and I continued to play.

Just like that, the music picked me up and took me out of this world. I’d been so ashamed, so angry with myself for allowing myself to end up here. I’d judged myself so harshly for being such a damn fool, but in those moments, I understood. I got why I’d saidyesto Mama Si. I understood completely.

And then Valentine’s hand was pressed to my chest.

This time, I was well aware that he was sitting with me. This time, he didn’t take me off guard and my fingers continued to play as I looked down at his hand over my chest, right over my heart. His eyes were closed, and his head lowered as he listened—both to the music and my heartbeat, Iassumed. I had no idea what it was about him and heartbeats, but maybe it was a melody to him, too. Maybe it was what kept him grounded like it did me.

So, I didn’t protest, didn’t push him away, just continued to play my melody from the beginning, knowing well that this was a trap, and stepping into it willingly.

“What’sit like out there, in the human world?”

I turned to look at Valentine, sitting at the edge of the bench still. His hand was no longer on my chest. I’d stopped playing a while ago, and now I was just looking at the keys, thinking.

“We do have movies, whatever the townspeople bring in from the other Isles that are connected to it. And we have a few books, but not many,” he continued, looking at the keys, too.

“I guess it’s just a jungle like any other place. A constant fight for survival, even if it is in different ways.” Not a physical war but an emotional one. A mental one people fought.

Or at least I had.

“Were you happy?” Valentine asked.

The question hung in the air for the longest time, and I refused to acknowledge it because I knew the answer. It was painfully simple: a boldnothat was unapologetic.

“Sometimes,” I said instead because there were times that made methinkof happiness, at least. Those three years before I moved with Brandon, when I snuck into my high school building almost every single night and played instruments. I was free in those few hours.

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