Page 49 of Mistle-Ho

She snorts. “That’s actually kinda brilliant.” After a very loud, very dramatic sigh, Alexis finally scoots behind me in the general direction of the lizard. “If this thing bites me, I’m going to kill you.”

“If it bites you, I will let you kill me.” I’m now within grabbing distance of Cilantro, but I’m afraid if I scoop her up, the lizard will leap. I need Alexis to grab the lizard the same time I grab the cat. “On the count of three.”

“How about ten?” Alexis wiggles her fingers, cringing as she prepares.

“One. Two.” I risk taking my eyes off Cilantro to give Alexis an encouraging smile before I say, “three.”

To my surprise, Alexis doesn’t hesitate. She scoops up the lizard and spins away, shuffling across the wood floor on her knees. I tuck Cilantro into one arm, smoothing along her head as I try to calm her down. “I’m sorry. I should have been more careful.”

Alexis makes a little squeaking sound and I hurry her way. She’s propped against one of my recliners, legs out in front of her, eyes wide, with the lizard stretched up her middle and its head resting on her shoulder. Almost the same way most people hold a baby.

She cringes, mouth tight and teeth clenched, as she awkwardly pats it on the back. “There, there.”

“Uhhhh.” Valerie looks from me to Alexis. “I’m still confused.”

I didn’t expect to be introducing Alexis to my neighbors yet. I was hoping for a little time to ease them into my new situation. Not because I didn’t want them to know. I just didn’t want them to be weird about it in front of Alexis. And considering this is the first time they’ve actually seen me with a woman, they’re gonna be weird about it.

Fynn slowly smiles. “I’m not.” He hooks one arm around Valerie’s shoulders. “Come on, Darling. You can meet Gavin’s new friend some other time.”

My neighbor leads his wife out of my condo, and I breathe out a sigh of relief when the door closes behind them. I’m going to owe him a beer. Or five.

“I’m guessing those are your neighbors?” Alexis gives the lizard another pet. “It’s nice that they were ready to defend you.”

“Fynn’s a good guy. He and I have been friends for a while.” I carry Cilantro to the spare bedroom, setting her inside before shutting her in. It’s basically her room, so her food and water and litter box are already inside. She’s not used to having the door closed, but she’ll be fine until I figure out what in the heck to do with old one-eye.

I come back to the living room to find Alexis on her feet, looking comically overwhelmed by the gigantic lizard in her arms. “You want me to take him?”

Alexis tucks her chin to peek down at the beast. “I think he’s asleep.”

“Yeah. He fell asleep on me earlier. I think he’s had a rough go of it.” I recount the events of my afternoon, filling Alexis in on how I came to be in possession of a green iguana. When I tell her how it got into Fynn and Val’s condo, her eyes immediately jump to my own balcony.

“It’s locked.” I move in and gently take the lizard from her arms. “I think I’m going to put him back in the bathroom for tonight.” If Cilantro’s locked up, he has to be locked up too. It’s only fair.

Alexis follows behind me, still looking confused by the whole situation. “So why didn’t Valerie call a lizard catcher or something? They have to exist. There’s all kinds of weird reptiles in Florida.”

After settling the sleeping iguana onto the rug in front of the sink, I close the door. “She did, and they said green iguanas are an invasive species, so they would kill it.”

Al’s eyes fix on the bathroom door, her expression somber. “Well that’s not very nice.”

“It’s not.” I rest one palm against her back, directing her to the living room. “That’s why Valerie came to me.”

Al’s head snaps my way, brows jumping up. “Because she thinks youarenice?” If I didn’t know Alexis so well, I wouldn’t notice the slight softening of her lips or the hint of a sparkle in her eyes. I would think she was being a bitch. And I hate to think how many men have had that same exact thought about her. Then again, it’s likely the only thing that kept me from having to look at more pricks like Huge-nose. Hating their existence. Sick at the sight of them with her because I know they’re not good enough.

I’m not good enough either, but at least I know it.

“I’m nice enough I didn’t eat your Italian cream cake even though it’s my favorite.” I pull Alexis close, running my hands down the curved lines of her small frame. “Thank you for braving my lizard.”

The twinkle of mischief in her eyes grows. “I don’t mind at all.” She angles an eyebrow at me. “This lizard was way more agreeable than the other one I had to deal with. Plus, it didn’t ruin my clothes.”

“If you’re going to keep holding that over my head, I might as well go around ruining everything you own.” I press my hips against her so she can feel the rigid line of my dick. “I might start with these pajamas.”

Al’s eyes widen. “You better not.”

The threat in her tone makes me think Alexis is more like her mother than she realizes. Not so much in personality, but temperament. I’m willing to wager that given the right set of circumstances, Alexis would be just as vicious as the woman who raised her.

“I should probably behave myself since now you know all it takes is a couple screams to make my neighbors take advantage of the keycode I gave them.”

Alexis narrows her eyes. “I’m a little concerned there hasn’t been screaming in your condo before now.” She tips her head. “It’s making me reconsider my decision to spend the night.”

---