Page 45 of The Beautiful Mess

Keegan shook his head. “I’ll never be the person you first met.”

Brendan’s expression was neutral, but his words held a lot of gravity when he next spoke. “You’re the same person, Keegan. Therapy didn’t erase all the misery you’ve endured. It’s helped you process what you’ve been through and provided you with tools to build a stronger future. A failed relationship or heartbreak might set you back a little, but no, I don’t think you’ll end up in the same headspace as when we first met.”

“I’m stronger now.”

“You are,” Brendan agreed. “Being frightened is natural. Trying to create a life where you’re never scared or challenged isn’t feasible. It’s better to identify your concerns and work through them, but you don’t want to start off any new relationship or journey with a defeatist attitude.” Brendan glanced at the clock. “We don’t have a lot of time left, but I’d love to hear how your relationship with Kerry has grown. The last I heard, you were hopelessly pining after him.”

Keegan chuckled. “The story will probably take longer than we have.”

“So hit the highlights,” Brendan encouraged.

“Just remember you asked for it.” Keegan began with Sven’s botched matchmaking, and Brendan got a huge kick out of Sven’s method. He listened stoically as Keegan described the locker room conversation and their family dinner confrontation, but his lips twitched a few times as if he found them amusing. Brendan didn’t find anything to laugh about when Keegan recounted his date with Danny. He interrupted a few times to ensure that Keegan wasn’t harmed—physically or emotionally—before encouraging Keegan to continue. The timer went off, signaling the end of the session, but Brendan gestured for him to continue. He seemed charmed by Keegan’s reaction to the news story and the thirsty reporter’s comments.

“And I had an ‘oh my’ moment of my own when Kerry answered the door naked.” Keegan’s face heated when he realized what he’d said. “I didn’t mean to get that descriptive. But yeah, we had sex. I didn’t hate myself afterward. And we’re going on our first date after my session with you.”

“I’m really happy for you, Keegan,” Brendan said. “And I have to wonder why you’re still talking to me if you’ve got a hot date.”

Keegan laughed and stood up. “I’m out of here. See you next time.” He was still smiling to himself as he exited the building and walked to his truck. Even though his session had run over, he finished earlier than he’d told Kerry. He pulled his phone out and texted Kerry to see if he needed anything from town before he headed over.

Kerry replied immediately.Just you. I’m home now so come over. I can’t wait to start our date.

On my way!

To touch Kerry, to taste him, and have those muscular arms wrapped around him. To embrace his queerness and go on his first real date. Keegan shifted the truck into Drive and pressed the gas. “I am queer. I am worthy. I am beautiful. I am loved.” Keegan smiled as he pulled out of the parking lot. “And I get to see Kerry naked! Talk about thriving.”

“He’ll be here any minute,” Kerry said as he paced in his living room. Betty raised her head and glared at him for disturbing her slumber. “I’m not sorry, but you should be for trying to sleep instead of offering emotional support during my freak-out.” Betty lowered her head, closed her eyes, and sighed loudly. “Why am I so nervous?”

Keegan had put him in charge of their date arrangements and had assured Kerry that whatever he chose would be perfect. He’d remembered the advice his mother had given him: dinner, an activity, and then sex. Lucinda hadn’t come out and mentioned sex specifically, but she had implied it. Kerry had trouble deciding between two restaurants, two activities, and there were a dozen sexual activities he was eager to try with Keegan. Then he got an idea from a TikTok video he watched while procrastinating on his admin tasks at work. Kerry had found a partial stack of index cards and a black Sharpie in his desk, then set out to make this a night neither of them would forget.

But doubt dimmed his excitement as he waited for Keegan to arrive. Just because something was popular on social media didn’t mean it translated well to real life. A car door sounded from the front of the house, and Kerry looked out the window to see Keegan strolling to the porch with a backpack slung over his shoulder. Keegan’s lips curved into a coy smile, and he walked with confidence and purpose. Kerry’s nerves settled when he realized he was the purpose Keegan was so certain about.

“He’s here, Betty. Please be—” Kerry’s words died off when he saw that Betty wasn’t in her favorite spot on the back of the sofa. He found his cat waiting by the front door to greet Keegan. “Good,” Kerry finished as he joined her. She spared him a disdainful scowl before her ears perked up. Her superior hearing detected Keegan on the porch before Kerry did. He opened the door before Keegan could knock or ring the bell. “Hey—”

Keegan pressed eager lips to his, cutting off Kerry’s greeting. When he moved to pull back, Kerry snaked his arm around Keegan’s waist and deepened the kiss. “Hi,” Keegan said when they finally separated.

“Hi.” Sharp teeth pierced his left sock, and Kerry yowled and hopped on one foot. “Damn it, Betty.”

The cat moved in once Kerry was out of the way. She purred obnoxiously loud and wove around Keegan’s legs before she rose to greet him. Keegan scratched her ears just right, and Betty closed her eyes in blissful happiness.

“Is he being mean to you, pretty girl?” Keegan asked.

“Me?” Kerry limped along dramatically, hoping to get a fraction of the attention Betty received. He wanted to feel Keegan’s magic touch too. “She bit me to clear a path to you. Betty wants all your attention.”

“Well, it’s only fair since I’ll be spending most of my time with you.” Keegan added a second hand to rub her chin, and she revved up her purrs like a small engine.

“I’m nervous about tonight.” Kerry hadn’t meant to admit it out loud, but Keegan’s softening gaze made him glad he did.

Keegan gave Betty one last scratch before straightening and crossing to him, placing a hand over Kerry’s heart. “You have nothing to worry about tonight. Wherever we go and whatever we do will be wonderful.”

Kerry captured Keegan’s sweet lips in a brief kiss. “Do you think we’re doing things kind of backward, though?”

“How so?”

“Traditionally, you go on dates and get to know each other before having sex,” Kerry said.

“It seems like dating is nothing more than people putting their best foot forward so they can get the other person in bed. A less cynical theory is that people go on dates to test their compatibility. We already know one another. Heck, we’ve already seen each other at our worst and still want to give this a try.” Keegan’s lips curved into a wry smile. “And I mean, weknoweach other.”

Kerry nuzzled his nose against Keegan’s neck and kissed a path up to his lips. “I adore everything I’ve learned so far, but I want to know more.”

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