Page 23 of The Beautiful Mess

“Keegan didn’t say he wanted any of those things,” Lucinda pointed out. “You have jumped to many conclusions about Keegan, my love. You’ve made decisions for a person who’s spent a lifetime under someone else’s thumb. Freedom of choice is the most important thing to him, and you must respect that.”

“Even when he could make the wrong one?”

She turned and faced Kerry, cupping his face with both hands. “That’s all part of life. Loving and losing are two sides of the same coin. You can’t have one without the other. You can build walls around your heart and play it safe, but that’s not living. It’s a slow death from joy deprivation. You deserve better, Kerry. You deserve the best.”

“I’m a hot mess, Ma.”

“You’re a beautiful mess, and I love you more than you will ever know.” She sighed and lowered her hands. “I just wish I’d been firmer about therapy after Natalie and your dad died. I should’ve tried harder.” Lucinda’s eyes filled with tears, and her lips quivered. “I’m sorry I let you down.”

“Mom, you did everything right. You took me to see a therapist. It’s not your fault I refused to talk to her.” He’d lost count of the times they’d had the same conversation. Kerry didn’t know if his argument wasn’t strong enough or if she just brushed it aside. He wasn’t the only stubborn one in their family, but Kerry wouldn’t give up until his mother forgave herself. “You didn’t let me down. Look at the incredible example you set for me. You worked hard to keep Natalie’s memory alive through good deeds and your crusade for justice. The salon is more than just a place for your clients to get their hair or nails done. It’s a loving community where you lift each other up. You were brave enough to risk love again and found Steven. I got an amazing role model and a bonus brother out of the deal. My faults are my own.”

And he was the only one who could repair them. Until he met Keegan, Kerry wasn’t interested in self-reflection, healing, and growth. He liked his simple life, and no one had challenged him to do better or want more. And now that he’d met that someone, it could be too late because he wasn’t brave enough to admit it.

“We’ll just have to agree to disagree.” Lucinda gave her standard reply to his rebuttal. Occasionally, she used her position as his mother to override him. “Are you sure you have to leave?”

He didn’t have to go, but it was for the best. The people in the other room might be his family, but Keegan needed them more at the moment. And Kerry really just needed a quiet place to think, and no one would ever describe their family dinners as peaceful. “I’m not going far, and I will be back.” It might’ve sounded trite to some, but Lucinda needed to hear it. Mothers who lost a child to sudden and unspeakable death needed more from their surviving children, and Kerry would gladly give it.

Lucinda searched his gaze for a few seconds before she nodded and retrieved the bag of food she’d packed for him. “Maybe we can have lunch this week. Just the two of us.”

Kerry accepted the food and kissed her cheek. “I’d love that. Name the time and place, and I’ll be there.”

He left through the utility room door on the side of the house to avoid any awkwardness, but escaping without another confrontation wasn’t in the cards. Sven leaned against the driver’s-side door of Kerry’s truck. He could easily overpower his brother and make his escape, but he wouldn’t, and Sven knew it. Kerry was raised to be aware of his size and strength compared to others, and Sven would press any advantage he could get.

“I’m not running,” Kerry said. “Just retreating to reboot. I’m exhausted.”

Sven sniffed the air over the bag. “Do I smell pineapple?” Kerry was tempted to barter the dessert for his freedom, but his brother spoke again before he could make the offer. “I’m worried about Kee.” Sven’s solemn voice matched his expression. “Really worried about him.” The emphasis was overkill, but that should’ve been Sven’s middle name instead of Edward. He did nothing in half measures. “This thing with Danny is too fast. I mean, what dude discusses future children and pets within the first twenty-four hours of meeting someone?” Sven didn’t pause long enough for him to answer, choosing to charge ahead with his concerns, spitting them out like rapid machine gun fire. “I tell you, Ker. I have a really bad feeling about this. I think Danny is telling Keegan whatever he wants to hear so he’ll let his guard down.”

Kerry was riddled with doubt and guilt by the time he finally halted his diatribe, but he remembered what his mother had said about Keegan’s need to be in control and make his own choices. He repeated her pearls of wisdom for Sven and earned a scowl.

“Well, fuck.” Sven dropped his gaze to his feet and kicked a piece of gravel. “She’s right. But how do we make sure he’s safe? We don’t want yourlittle lambto stumble into an eager butcher.”

Kerry felt the same fears and frustrations but didn’t have a solution. “Other than follow him around, what can you do?” Kerry asked.

Sven straightened, and his eyes widened. “That’s exactly what I’ll do. Getting Keegan to tell me where they’re going on their date will be a cinch. Then I can just discreetly follow to make sure Danny Boy doesn’t get out of line.” He launched himself away from Kerry’s truck and headed toward the house.

“Whoa, wait!” Kerry called. “I didn’t intend that as a serious suggestion.”

“You’re a genius!” Sven fired back.

His brother didn’t have a discreet bone in his body. Sven lived for standing out, so there was no way Keegan wouldn’t notice the tail. This would come back on Kerry. He could see it now. Keegan would confront Sven, and his brother would throw him under the bus. Then Keegan would…what? Seek him out for a confrontation? Get curious about Kerry’s intentions? Would that be a bad thing?Yes!Kerry wrenched his truck door open and climbed inside. He needed to discourage Keegan’s crush, not encourage it. Sven’s plan spelled absolute disaster. If he were smart, he’d give Keegan a heads-up. But Kerry was worried too, and Sven’s intentions were good. So he fired up his truck and drove home to Betty, bourbon, and a crushing hangover if he weren’t careful.

Kerry had set his alarm ninety minutes earlier than usual. He’d planned to put himself through a grueling workout in his home gym to reduce his anxiety before his appointment with Vinny. His pounding head and queasy stomach made exercise difficult, but he managed to sweat out some of his misery. Pain meds, a hot shower, and strong coffee helped him feel almost human by the time he pulled out of his driveway.

Vinny Marino looked nothing like Joe Pesci’s character inMy Cousin Vinny, but they both had swagger. The attorney greeted Kerry and Steven warmly and offered hugs instead of handshakes. The man’s suit probably cost more than all of Kerry’s clothes combined, but he wore it well. Vinny looked to be in his midforties, but Kerry knew he was pushing sixty at least. They spent several minutes catching up while sipping expensive-tasting coffee before Vinny set his cup down on the desk and got down to business.

“I reviewed the information Steven emailed me this weekend. Your investigator is incredible,” Vinny said with a cocky smile. “I’ve known the plaintiff’s counsel for many years, and I thought it was only fair to let Roger know I am going to represent you. I didn’t reveal my hand, but I let him know in no uncertain terms that their client will not win. I also clarified that we would not make a settlement offer.”

“And?” Kerry asked hopefully.

Vinny sighed and shook his head. “Roger didn’t heed my warning, so he’ll have to find out the hard way. Your options are to file a response to dispute the allegations or countersue. Either way, we enter the discovery phase, where I gather the evidence and witnesses we will need. I figure opposing counsel will drag this out until depositions, which should take place about four weeks after I file our response or countersuit. The deposition is where I’ll go hard, and they’ll fold like a weak-ass house of cards.”

The attorney’s comment buoyed Kerry’s confidence, but he wanted to maintain a grip on reality. “You sound certain.”

“Because I am. I’ve won cases with a lot less evidence than Dominic Babb provided you. A good investigator is priceless. Do you think he’d be interested in doing some work for me?”

The pivot in conversation caught Kerry off guard, but it also elated him. “Definitely.”

Vinny pulled a legal pad and pen from his desk and slid them to Kerry. “Would you mind providing his contact information?”

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