Page 17 of The Beautiful Mess

Keegan had come too far to give up, so he doubled down by stepping back in invitation for Kerry to enter the small room. “What else could you want me for?” The teasing lilt in his voice was new, but he loved the reaction it got.

Kerry swallowed hard and even shook his head a little, as if to pull himself together, but his gaze remained dazed and ravenous. “Uh, talking. Sure. That’s what I want.”

Keegan let go of the door, turned his back, and sauntered farther into the room. Kerry’s options were to catch the door and come in or wait in the hallway until he finished dressing. Keegan’s actions said he didn’t care either way, but his pounding heart betrayed the truth. Luckily, he didn’t have to wait long to find out which option Kerry chose. The door thudded against Kerry’s hand, and Keegan glanced over his shoulder as Kerry pushed it open and stepped into the small space. At best, three normal-sized people could get dressed in the room without bumping into each other. With Kerry inside, it felt like just enough space for them to grind up against each other. Keegan waited to feel the press of Kerry’s body against his, but it didn’t come. He turned and found the man leaning on the far side of the locker row. Pity, but Keegan was on a roll and had no intention of easing up on the gas.

He reached into his borrowed locker and turned to face Kerry. “So talk.”

Kerry crossed his arms over his chest, the action making his biceps bulge beneath his red dress shirt. Keegan wanted to wear that one instead of the shirt hanging up in his locker. It would be warm and smell sexy and smoky like Kerry. Rueben had talked about wearing Seth’s shirts occasionally and the closeness it evoked. Keegan could pretend it was a hug and not a simple piece of fabric. That thought teetered on desperation, and he clawed it back before it could kill his vibe. Keegan wanted to seduce Kerry with a glance, not remind him of an ASPCA commercial of a pitiful puppy in need of rescue.

“Get dressed.” Kerry’s voice sounded thicker, harder, not unlike the reaction it triggered in Keegan’s black boxers.

Tilting his head to the side, Keegan curved his lips into what he hoped was a seductive smile. “You didn’t want me to return the favor?”

Black brows knitted over a hungry gaze that traveled the length of Keegan’s body once more. “Favor?”

“I got to ogle your body today, so it’s only fair you get to see mine. Keeps the playing field level.”

Kerry’s eyes snapped back to meet his as he straightened to his full height and stalked a few steps closer. Unfortunately, he stopped before he got within touching range. “Playing? Is that what we’re doing?”

“Is that what you want to do?” Keegan asked.

Kerry’s nostrils flared with a deep inhale. “Fire. That’s what you’re playing with.”

Flames of lust licked a path up Keegan’s body until he was fully engulfed. An alarm went off in his brain, cautioning him not to provoke someone as large as Kerry Hart, but Keegan shut it down. Kerry was nothing like the monsters who’d hurt him. The knowledge added fuel to the fire instead of dousing it. “Why? You said you just came in here to talk.” He took a few steps toward Kerry, daring him to back up. The big guy held his ground, but Keegan saw the indecision in his expressive gaze. So, he stopped again but well within Kerry’s reach. Then, he lobbed a verbal volley back onto his side of the court. “Is there something else you have in mind?”

Kerry’s arms fell to his sides, and Keegan stiffened with anticipation. Maybe he misunderstood Keegan’s reaction because Kerry shoved his hands in his front pockets. “What I want to do and what I will do aren’t the same thing.”

Insecurity clawed through his newfound confidence and made him want to reach for his clothes. The last thing he wanted to see was pity or disgust in Kerry’s gaze. The urge to lower his eyes was strong, but he forced himself to maintain eye contact. Brendan taught him how to view situations with his eyes and not the perceptions he projected onto everyone. It was challenging to do at the best of times, but practicing the technique nearly nude with Kerry felt impossible. Yet, he dug in and forced his own perceptions away and relied on his senses. Kerry’s chest rose and fell with fast breaths, and his pulse hammered against his neck. His masculine scent was stronger in the cramped space, either from the internal heat making Kerry’s eyes sparkle like black diamonds or because he’d put cologne on before coming to work.

“What do you want to do?” Keegan took the few remaining steps to bridge the gap between them, stopping just a few scant inches from Kerry’s body.

Big hands came up and rested on Keegan’s hips, fingers pressing deep. “Don’t,” Kerry said, even as he pulled Keegan closer.

“Don’t?” Keegan prodded.

“Start things you can’t finish.”

Keegan quirked a brow and glanced down to where their midsections pressed together. He was hard as hell, and there was no way Kerry missed it, just as he was fully aware of Kerry’s arousal. “Are you carrying around a lead pipe in there?”

“I’m serious, Kee. I can’t hurt you.”

“That’s why they make lube, big guy.”

The remark earned a small smile, but it didn’t linger on Kerry’s sensuous mouth. “I want you, and it would be foolish to deny it at this point.” Kerry’s fingers flexed on his hips as he heaved a sigh. “We don’t want the same things.”

“Two straining erections say otherwise.” Later, he’d be equal parts mortified and impressed by his fortitude. Desperation led the charge because he was terrified his opportunity would slip away. “What is it you think I want from you? Marriage?” He waited for a horrified shudder to rack the big body pressed against his, but it never came. Keegan placed his hand on Kerry’s chest and slid it upward until his fingers brushed up against silky curls. “Part of embracing my sexuality is getting familiar with my body and what pleases me. Thoughts of you bring me great pleasure, and I can promise you that marriage, babies, and happily ever after aren’t included in my fantasies about you when I’m riding a dildo.”

Kerry’s lips parted, and a tortured gasp escaped. “I don’t believe you.”

“You want video proof with narration of every thought that crosses my mind?” He wouldn’t do it, but Kerry’s blistering curse made the idea tempting. “Or are you so arrogant that you think every person who fucks you also wants to marry you?”

“No, of course not.”

“So, it’s just me? You think I’m so pitiful that I will cling to any man who throws me a pity fuck?” Keegan’s desire was taking a darker turn.

Kerry’s restraint broke, and he pushed Keegan against a locker, pinning him with his massive body. Keegan had a momentary flash of fear, but it died when Kerry tenderly cupped his face. “You ever think I’m the one who doubts his ability?”

“Not for once.” The idea was absurd.

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