Page 61 of Black Bird

“I’m losing it. I don’t really feel like myself anymore. I never did shit like that. Any other time, before all this happened … I either wouldn’t have been there, or I would’ve been the one telling Wren to be careful, but it’s … it’s just not the same anymore. Kinda like the night at the bar.” She puffed on her cigarette and looked over at him. “I wanted to kill the bastard. I was so mad. But then when you put your hands on me … I just…”

“What.” he whispered.

“I felt actual pain in my chest.” Their eyes met and as she said it, Sarah felt that pain creeping up. “Like my heart was breaking … and I just couldn’t hold it in anymore. It goes from one extreme to the other, and I don’t feel like I can control the shit, Kane. I dunno how.” Tears started welling in her eyes and she blinked them off. Kane raised from his chair, instantly beside her as he knelt by the couch. “If I crossed some line with you last night, I really am sorry. I wanna say that I didn’t mean it, Kane but … that might not even be the truth.” She wiped at her eye and slapped herhand against her leg, startling Poe. He fluttered up to the perch stand by the couch. “I don’t even know you!” She could feel herself slipping into a strange place, and he said nothing. He only watched and listened. “I don’t know a thing about you, really … and I—” She shook her head, dragging hard on her cigarette.

“You what.”

She met his eyes again, her knees trembling. He seemed on edge too, and she noticed his breathing had changed. Sarah hadn’t even realized that she’d leaned closer to him until she could feel his breath on her skin … on her face. Her body was screaming at her to close that space between them, and as much as she wanted to, that day in her apartment invaded her mind. How he’d turned away and made to take off so fast.

“I’m not gonna let anything happen to you, Sarah,” he breathed, their lips close enough to touch. “Do you trust me?” She couldn’t speak. She could only find the strength to nod slowly. “I—I have to tell you s—”

“Ummm … am I interrupting something?” Wren asked, toweling off her hair and leaning against the wall by the hallway in Kane’s clothes. He backed away, putting his cigarette back in his mouth and stalked past her into the kitchen. Sarah gave Wren a look, promising to beat the pure shit out of her, and Wren just grinned. “Shower’s free.” She winked, trudging toward the couch.

“Coffee should be done. I’m gonna go next door and get it. Take all the time you need.” Kane said with a tone, not lingering to hear whatever they were going to say next. He let the front door shut behind him and Sarah continued to stare at Wren as she plopped down on the couch and crossed her legs underneath her.

“What the fuck, Wren?” Sarah spat, tossing the blanket off and standing up.

“What, dude? How was I supposed to know you two were cozying up in here? And how the hell did we go from murder tothatshit in twenty minutes?” Wren held her hand out. “I want that. You smoked all mine last night.” Sarah handed her the rest of the smoke.

“I’m taking a shower.” She rolled her eyes, shaking her head and disappearing into Kane’s bedroom.

Idiot. He was such an idiot. He should have never let himself get that close. Athan cursed under his breath as he opened every cabinet in Rhaena’s kitchen, looking for mugs. He found them, dragging out three and sitting them down on the counter while he stewed over it, nearly drawing blood from his own lip as he bit down on it. His knuckles turned white as they gripped the edge, and he drew the last drag off his cigarette. Rhaena would murder him if she found out he not only smoked in her truck, but also in this apartment. He tossed the butt down into the drain and ran the water to snuff it out.

He would have told her. Told her right then before he had the sense to talk himself out of it before claiming that stained mouth. God knows how bad he wanted to. Both of those notions would have been the biggest relief. He didn’t want to carry the lie around with him anymore. Didn’t think he could go much longer without touching every part she’d allow him to. His entire body shook with the need for her. It didn’t help that he could hear water running through the pipe in the wall and she was likely stark naked in his shower right now. What he wouldn’t give to sneak into it and do unspeakable things to her. He didn’t deserve it, he kept reminding himself. He didn’t deserve the pleasure it gave him to break bones in any hand that touched her. She had never willingly given him any claim on her. Only the mark that he’d left on her body … and while that was unintentional, it was still unacceptable.

It was obvious she wanted him to do everything he’d been thinking, but even Sarah was questioning herself now. She’d just said it outright. She didn’t know anything about him. He knew the rest without her saying more. She was going through everything he was going through, the only difference being that she didn’t know this shrouded truth. He’d need to tell her this alone but couldn’t help but wonder if it would be better for her to have someone like Wren around when she flew off the handle as a result. His blood hummed with the thought of his mouth being that close to hers and damn him for even thinking about the split second she’d spread her legs in front of him at that club last night. That heart she’d restarted nearly stopped again when she’d crawled toward him and put her hands on his body. His cock twitched in his jeans, and he ran a hand through his hair.

He reminded himself then, how he’d felt when he’d unzipped that body bag at the crime scene. Those few agonizing seconds he’d thought she was truly gone. That they had taken her from him … from the whole world. Dahlia would do it. He had no doubt. The only person that he could think of that would be stupid enough to sell her any information would be Nick Specter … but even Nick hadn’t known the whole truth. How did she figure him out? What could he do other than keep Sarah confined to his place to keep her safe? He’d figure it out later. Athan filled the mugs and gathered them in his hands as he headed back to his apartment. Wren was sitting at the kitchen table when he entered, looking over all the files spread before her. He placed one of the mugs down next to her elbow.

“I never liked the little bastard,” she said, taking a sip of her coffee and staring at a file regarding Conrad Stratford. “If the saying is true, and the apple don’t fall far from the tree, then I imagine I’m right when it comes to this piece of shit.”

“He doesn’t seem like the worst person I’ve ever come across, but I’ll have to agree with you on that if we’re only judging by his family tree.” Athan offered, turning and leaning against the counter and sipping from his own mug. Wren laid the papers down and turned in her chair to face him, smiling and taking another sip.

“You sure pissed him off good last night.”

“He pissed himself off. He knows I’m right.”

She huffed a laugh. “I wasn’t talking about what you said to him before we left.” He found an interesting speck of dirt on the kitchen floor. “She never touched him like that.”

“I find that hard to believe if they’d been together two years and were about to get married.”

“Believe what you want, detective. She never looked at him that way, either. And I would know.” She sipped again. “I’m sorry I ruined your … whatever that was.” She chuckled.

“Don’t be. It shouldn’t have happened.” He raised his mug back to his mouth.

“Look, as comfy as your clothes are … this ain’t my style, and as soon as we’re done here, I’m going home to primp. That way nobody can be a witness, and you can’t get in any trouble. I’ve never been much for being the third wheel, but you just remember what I told you, yeah?”

Athan looked back up at her and she made scissors with her fingers and pointed at his crotch. He snorted. Poe cawed excitedly and danced on his perch in the living room as Sarah crept in, somehow more gorgeous without an ounce of makeup on … and the way she wore his clothes …

God help him.

He wanted her more the way she looked right now than the way she had on that pole. He tried to keep himself from wondering how good she’d look covered in his blood. Athan cleared his throat, refusing to make eye contact as she stepped into the kitchen, and he handed her the last mug.

“Thanks,” she breathed, not bothering to test it before taking a few long sips. A junkie, indeed.

“Mmhmm …” He turned away as she sat down at the table, and he handed them both a croissant.

“So …” Wren mused, not ashamed at all to make the tension between them worse. “What happened last night that we need to talk about? I’m intrigued.” He turned back toward them at that.

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