Page 184 of Black Bird

“Sarah,he’sthe only family you need now. You keep living in this dark part of your past, and you’ll neverlive. You’re my daughter, and I earned the right to want that for you. So, yes … I want you to move on. I want you to go back, and I want you to only think about me if it puts a smile on your face.”

“I don’t wanna leave you again.”

Katherine wrapped her arms around her one last time and squeezed. “The veil isn’t made for lengthy visits, Sarah. When it’s your time … we’ll be together again. Until then …” She pulled away and placed her fingertips over Sarah’s chest. “Keep me right here. And stay out of trouble. You’ve always been reckless, but I didn’t think you’d be this stupid. Don’t ever do this to yourself again … understand?”

Wisps of night started circling them both, coiling like inky smoke around Katherine’s arms. Sarah watched every tendril, her eyes widening, and an overwhelming feeling of troubled waters warred beneath her skin. It itched, and prickled, and the translucence became less so. The glowing haze of light started to push away at the cold darkness that enveloped her mother. Life, Sarah realized then, was battling its way back into her … and it was becoming just as excruciating as when she had woken in the hospital after Athan’s assault.

“No,” Sarah breathed, a flash of memory from the night her neck was torn open cascading through her vision. She’d spoken that word then, too. “Mom, please … don’t go!” Sarah swatted at the force that was taking her mother captive. “Get off of her!” There was a shriek, and a hissing sound that warned her not to do it again.

“I’m already gone, Sarah. Neither of us can stay here. This time I’m leaving on my own. This is the goodbye we never got to say, baby girl. Go back. Travel. Fall head over heels. Hell … go make me a beautiful grandbaby, I don’t care how you live … I just want you to. Stop digging for answers that are just gonna break your heart, Sarah. I’m okay.”

Katherine was slowly disappearing behind the shadows that reached a thousand phantom hands around her. Every word lingered, and Sarah concentrated on each one. A grandbaby … if that were even poss—

“Mom?” Sarah lurched forward, reaching out to grab her fingers one last time. “Who is he? What’s his name?” Shrouds of night began to cover Katherine’s face, leaving her stunning eyes to shine with reluctant reply. She knew exactly what Sarah was asking and didn’t want to tell her. All it ever took when she was a child was to beg enough, and pout. Her mother was never strong enough to deny her something, if she wanted it bad enough. Searing pain started to slowly take over Sarah’s body and she cowered under it, desperate to keep her eyes on her mother. “Please, Mama! His name!”

When the last of her slowly disappeared, Sarah hit her knees and hung her head. Her arms wrapped around herself, and the pain continued to flood her like an unforgiving tide. The faint glow of her skin seemed to seep into her body, filling her once again with the life she wasn’t sure she even wanted anymore. “I love you …” she wept, hugging herself tighter.

“His name is John Allan,” a disembodied voice said as Sarah’s head jerked up. Katherine was gone, and as familiar whispers started clouding her mind and the darkness that was surrounding her, Sarah searched for her. “I love you, Sarah St. James.” Her vision clouded, evenwhen she tried to focus on her physical body, and as the light finally died out beneath her skin, Sarah was forced to her back in an excruciating jolt. She tried to say goodbye, but her body seized … the cold darkness claiming her completely.

Athan’s physical heart thundered, while the one attached to his soul started cracking as he desperately tried to wake his mate. Nick continued to panic on the other side of Sarah’s chair, but every word was drowned out as he counted the seemingly endless seconds between her weak heartbeats. The lab was a blur. His mind was a prison cell filled with manic thoughts that threw one painful blow after another, with no way to escape. If he couldn’t turn her, he’d die right along with her. He should never have agreed to this madness. If he didn’t off himself for this, Rhaena would surely rip him apart. Or Wren … hell, maybe even the prick lawyer who claimed to love her once. Maybe he’d let him. He’d deserve it for being so stupid.

Sarah’s monitor suddenly alarmed them with the unfathomable sound of her losing her life … again. At the same time, the tiny indicator on the blood bag chimed with completion. Athan’s head thrashed back and forth between the two bellowing sounds. Nick’s mouth moved, screaming his name, and it was as if all of a sudden, the world moved in slow motion. Like it all existed under the deepest water. He could barely move … barely think … breathe. He called Sarah’s name, shaking her and turning her face toward him. She remained gray and lifeless in his hands. He threw off his jacket, tearing a good-sized hole in his wrist with his fangs, and held it over her parted mouth. His dark blood dripped onto her lips, a stark bleached color against the deep red.

Come on … come on! Drink!

His wrist pressed against her mouth, his blood flowing freely down her throat. There was nothing. Nothing but the sound of that fucking monitor by his ear.

Come back to me! Drink, Sarah! Fuck …

His breaths came in shallow, broken rasps. Nick stood, frozen in panic. Still, she didn’t move. The wound he’d made on his wrist started to thread itself back together, and Athan tore it open again, bigger this time. Deeper. The blood came faster, and he returned it to her mouth, every frantic beat of his heart pumping salvation into her body. It had to work. He couldn’t be too late. If he bit her again, she may not ever come back, and he couldn’t risk it. He reached behind her neck with his other hand, tilting her head back and letting the blood travel easier down her throat. He couldn’t tell how many minutes passed with that damned flat line remaining on that monitor. Couldn’t hear a word Nick said as he forced that needle out of her limp arm. All he could think about was that little piece of paper she’d left in his desk drawer.

“On the morrow he will leave me … as my hopes have flown before …”

His panic turned to rage. Then to the deepest heartache he’d ever known. He had to tell her one more time. That he loved her the moment his heart started beating again. That he’d never stopped thinking about her, even in sleep. That every single time her eyes met his, he no longer knew who he was—or cared. That she was the only light he’d ever had in his long life, even before that life became an immortal one. That every time he’d wished he’d let her kiss him cut like a blade in his heart. That even if she’d begged him to, he’d nevereverleave her … because he couldn’t. He had to tell her one more time, that the answer to her burning question would always be the same. That he’d always be that dark thing that perched on her shoulder forever. That there was no other place he could ever be. He’d never let her go. Never …never…

“Nevermore …” Athan whispered. A broken, choked out sob. He tore his wrist away from her mouth, pressing his forehead to hers and taking both sides of her face as he hovered over her. “Nevermore, Sarah St. James. You better open those fucking eyes and kiss me, or I swear on Poe’s grave, I’ll—”

Sarah cut him off with a wide-eyed gaping inhale, bowing under him and grabbing both sides of his shirt as if she were pulling herself out from drowning. Athan felt his eyes burn with tears, allowing her another full breath before he let her latch onto his mouth. He tasted his blood. Tasted death, as he deeply kissed her. She moaned in agony against his mouth, and he sat up, pulling her against him while he wrapped both arms around her and held her close. Nick backed himself against the wall, watching on in horror. Sarah writhed in excruciating pain, screaming as her body became something else. He remembered in clear detail, how painful it had been the night that Dahlia turned him. Knew exactly what she was about to go through and couldn’t do a damn thing to stop it. At least she wouldn’t be alone. He tightened his arms around her, pressing his chin over her shoulder and cradling her head while she thrashed, screaming and violently shaking in his hold.

“I’ve got you … I’m here,” Athan soothed, rocking her back and forth. It went on longer than he’d wanted it to. Every second of seeing her like this chipped away a piece of his soul. Athan closed his eyes, holding her tighter as the last dregs of her former life started fizzling out. It took him by surprise when a sharp pain seared through his neck, forcing his eyes open when he realized she’d bitten him. His breath hitched, and his pain immediately found overwhelming pleasure as she drank from him, growling her satisfaction and pulling him closer. Athan groaned, his body melting into hers.

“Oh, what the fuck … what thefuck!” Nick whined, trying to back himself further into the wall.

Athan’s vision started to blur, and he realized she was taking too much. It felt incredible, and he didn’t want to stop her, but if he didn’t, it would be all for not. “Sarah …” he whispered breathlessly, gripping the back of her shirt. She didn’t stop. If anything, it made her more ravenous. Athan forced her back, the blood from her mouth dripping onto the shoulder of his white t-shirt. When she gasped, and her head fell back, Athan thought he’d die at the sight of her. Devastatingly beautiful in his blood … the way he always knew she’d be. Her tattooed skin was flawless, her ebony hair shining with an almost blue sheen, and those eyes—fuck … thoseeyes. The gold flecks were molten, and seeping between the inky darkness that flooded around them. She heaved desperately through fangs and a mouth stained with blood, and those eyes fluttered closed as she passed out in his arms.

He clutched her as her body collapsed around him, and it would have sent him back into panic had the monitor she was still attached to not started beeping again. Athan and Nick both glanced at each other, and then to the screen. Her heartbeat grew steady, and he realized then—she had one. His chest ached.

“Her numbers are astounding.” Nick observed, stepping closer and peering at the monitor. “I’ve never seen anything like it in my life.”

She wouldn’t be like the others. She’d be like him. Which meant there was a strong possibility that her being fully vampire wouldn’t alter the effects of her blood. It was a blessing as much as it was a curse, and it also meant that she hadn’t needed to die again. Not like that. Not at all. Sure, Wren was still out there, and Dahlia may very well have her and was using her silence as another way to toy with them … but Athan knew that it was too late now to toss around the “what if’s”. It was done. Nick had what he needed. And now … his mate was also his equal. She needed rest. Somewhere she could wake up and feel safe. Athan turned his face towards Nick, who was still watching her numbers climb in disbelief.

“I have to take her home.”

“What’ll happen to her now? How long do you think she’ll be like that?” Nick asked, folding his arms uncomfortably around himself and looking at Sarah’s bloody face.

“It’s hard to say. But I don’t want her to wake up here. Do you have what you need to do what she asked?”

“… I do.” Nick nodded. “Forty-eight hours. That’s the closest I can cut it.”

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