Page 165 of Black Bird

“I understand.”

Call ended.

CHAPTER 29

LIFE AND DEATH

He wasn’t sure how much more he could take. His fingers flexed as he walked hurriedly down the hallways, glancing at sick children just trying to find some kind of entertainment in playrooms that were scattered throughout the hospital. It was the second time Brent had hit someone in the past week, and neither time was fulfilling. In fact, it only pissed him off more. That bastard had done so much worse to Sarah than he ever had. At least … that’s how he felt. He couldn’t help but let Northwood’s words replay in his mind, over and over.

“Athan didn’t choose to do what he did to her. But you did. Sarah understands that. She loves him.”

He did … he did choose. And he was a fool.

“She loves him.”

Did she ever truly love him the way that she loves that prick? Was it possible that Sarah onlythoughtshe loved the detective, only because of what might have happened to her after experiencing something like that? Then, there was what Kane had said himself … something Wren had even pointed out when she’d cornered him in the stairwell that day …

“It doesn’t take a detective to know she was done with you before she’d even met me.”

Asshole …

“She’s over you, Brent. We both know it. She’s just too good of a person to let you down.”

Looking back on it … part of him knew. Knew then, and likely knew before that argument in the hospital, but never wanted to believe it. There had always been some part of her that Brent could never satisfy. If he allowed himself to be honest, the same rang true when it regarded himself. Some kind of divide … some gaping abyss that neither of them could figure out how to cross. He had never tried to control her. He’d never do that. But he found himself wondering then, if maybe he’d pushed her too much. Or maybe he hadn’t pushed himself enough. Just when he thought there had been a chance to accept Sarah’s attraction to the guy and respond to how freeing it felt not to be bothered by it … the truth came out. And look what he’d done with it. Reacted like he had absolutely no control over himself. He wasn’t acting like the man this little girl looked up to—who she admired so much that she dreamt of becoming a fierce lawyer, if she was only given a chance tolive.

Brent softly knocked on the open door to Annie’s room, both her mother and father turning to look at him from her bedside. The young girl’s back was turned toward him as she laid on her side. Her parents didn’t raise from their chairs, and both of them were wiping their faces and holding back tears. Brent’s heart sank. “I—is she?”

“They said they’ve done all they could … we’re grateful for your help. There just isn’t anything left to try.” Her mother sniffled, dabbing at her nose. “We’re out of time.”

“No …” Brent whispered, edging into the doorway.

“What you gave us was generous, sir. Thank you. Truly … she would have been happy just meeting you. She’s just too tired. She can’t fight anymore.” Annie’s father choked, glancing back to his daughter, and placing a gentle hand on her back. He thought of his mother then … how weak she was when he’d left her this morning. How ready she was to be done with it all. He couldn’t imagine a nine-year-old feeling that way. Especially after having to grow up so quickly.

“May I?” Brent asked, gesturing to the other side of Annie’s bed.

“She’d have our asses if we said no.” Her mother smirked, battling away her tears.

He walked silently to her bedside, kneeling down and nearly flinching in how quickly she’d gone downhill. Her face hadn’t looked like this days ago. Her skin was gray, and her lips completely drained of color, chapped and cracking. The poor child already looked like a corpse. Her eyes were darkened and sunk in, and her cheek bones protruded more than they had the last time he’d been here. She was bruising everywhere. Brent reached for her hand that laid close to her against her blanket, carefully minding her IV.

“Annie …” he whispered, caressing her small knuckles. Her eyes peeled open, and she tried to focus them on his face beneath the rim of her red beanie.

“You look like crap,” she said weakly, trying to force a smile. Brent chuckled through his nose. “Could have at least brushed your hair for our last hot date.”

“Blame the cops. I went to work this morning. Preview of coming attractions.” He waved a hand down the front of his jacket. “Rough days are part of the job description.”

“I’m a little blue today,” she said sadly. “I don’t think I can handle dark humor.”

“Did I say something funny?” Brent asked, leaning forward.

“You know what you said. I’ll be lucky if I make it through the night. I can hardly keep my eyes open as it is.” Her face crumpled, and for the first time since he’d met this brave little girl … she seemed terrified. “There was so much I wanted to do.”

Her parents quietly cried behind her, and Brent couldn’t bear to look up at them as his eyes started filling with tears. “So go do it, Annie.”

“Don’t be dumb. You know I can’t.”

Brent let go of her hand and snapped his briefcase open, taking Sarah’s blood out of it, and setting it on the bed. “You can … if it’s what you want.”

“What is that?” Annie’s mother asked, raising from her chair. Her husband followed suit. Annie stared at the bag, her yellowing eyes growing wider. Brent stood and went to close the door.

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