Page 82 of Black Bird

“Ever since I found out that you were alive.” His voice shook. Sarah stared down at the floor, everything coming together slowly in her mind. The wound she’d had … the way he’d always looked at her. The way she felt so drawn to him, especially the night he’d come to question her at the hospital. When he’d freaked out at her apartment … the way he constantly asked about how she was feeling, even asking her best friend about her behavior. These strange mood swings, her unbalanced head and the recklessness she kept seeking out. The blood bags … the fact that before she came here to stay with him there was absolutely nothing in his kitchen as far as food. His need for her. The way that he always looked at her neck … the way hekissedit. Her head was spinning. A tear slid down Sarah’s cheek as she looked back up at him.

“What thefuckare you?” she whispered raggedly. “What did you do to me?” Her voice broke and she inhaled sharply, unable to stop more tears as they started trickling down her face. Athan’s chest rose and fell. He was visibly shaking with restraint to come to her. “What did you do!?” she screamed, rushing toward him and forcefully shoving him back. Glass cut into her bare feet, and she barely felt it. Athan crashed into the stove, and it dented behind him, like it had been hit with a dump truck. He tried to hold her arms when she started swinging them and she fought back, slamming her fists into his chest. He let her, giving up and holding her steady by the waist as she backhanded him three times. She grabbed a fistful of his t-shirt and sobbed. “What did you do to me …” The last two words were a shattered quiet exhale and she slumped against him.

“I’m sorry … I never meant—” his voice cracked, and he started shaking. She realized why when she caught the scent of blood. Her feet were bleeding on the floor. She looked down at them and then to his face. Those blue eyes became so dark … so unnatural and strange. Sarah winced back, startled as she stepped over shards of more broken glass and continued to back herself away. His chest heaved up and down.

“Tell me the truth.” She shuddered, her back against the wall in the hallway by the front door. “Tell me!” she screamed.

“I fed on you …” Athan choked, his eyes slowly turning back to the pale blue. “I’m—I’m a vampire.” The word didn’t quite sink in as he continued. “I tried, Sarah … I tried so hard not to, but I lost control. I saw you at the club and—I waited. I just wanted to see you again. I knew I couldn’t have you. But I lost control, and you were alone. My instincts took over and I couldn’t hold myself back. I fed on you and took your life … and I’ll never forgive myself for it.” His eyes never left hers.

“This can’t be real,” Sarah breathed, shaking her head. “Vampires aren’t real. You’re fucking nuts.”

“I wish that were true. I never wanted to be this …thing. I’ve never enjoyed doing this a day in my immortal life, Sarah.That’swhy I took it. I can live off blood bags, but only for a while. This body demands more … once or twice a year I don’t have any choice but to give myself over to the hunger and—and it happens. I can’t control it. I mourn every single person I’ve ever killed, and I take something from them, so I’ll never forget the life of the person I stole from the world.” He looked so broken. He looked like it was taking every ounce of restraint not to move toward her.

She couldn’t believe what she was hearing. Couldn’t believe that even as crazy as it sounded, somehow, she knew he was being honest. That this was real. Very real, and she’d landed herself in the middle of one of her world’s darkest secrets. “The shit in the drawer … those are …”

“There’s one from every person I’ve slain.” He swallowed.

Her mind raced and she found herself too shocked to shed another tear. “But you … you eat. I’ve seen you eat.” He stilled, suddenly seeming more upset. “You’ve been outside. I thought vampires couldn’t—”

“It was you.”

Sarah drew her brows, her breathing ragged. “What are youtalkingabout?”

“Your blood. It changed me. I’m still … what I am, but … when your heart stopped … mine started beating again. Aftertwo hundred years. It wasn’t until you that I was able to live like this.”

She was, for sure, not breathing now. Her mouth wouldn’t close. “You …” She reached up, her fingers grazing over the scar on her neck. “You left me there to die …” Their eyes met again, and her heart shattered.

“Youdiddie, Sarah,” He whispered, painfully. “I checked your pulse. You were gone. That was why I was so shocked when Captain Foley told me to go question you at the hospital. Our kind … we have rules. Our bite is fatal. Even if I hadn’t killed you, the mark would have within hours. You lived through all of it. I still don’t understand how, but you did. And now …” He paused, his breath hitching.

“And now,what?” Sarah asked through her clenched teeth. Her eyes began filling again and the need to hurt him back started to rage within her.

“The lab reports from your wound … all the strands of DNA. They’re a part of me, Sarah. That bite branded you to my soul. As long as I live, you’ll be a part of me. The only way you would have known was if I were to sire you.Turnyou. Otherwise, you wouldn’t have lived long enough to understand any of it.”

Now it made sense. “So … the way I feel about you. It’s because of what you’ve done.” He said nothing. Only a muscle in his jaw feathered in response. “This shit that I feel … this darkness, this rage … it’s because ofyou.” Her body started trembling.

“I’m so sorry,” he whispered.

She lost it. The chains that held her broke, link by link, and she surged forward, grabbing the coffee maker and hurling it across the kitchen. He raised his hands to block the impact and it slammed to the tile on the kitchen floor.“I fucking hate you!”She screamed, hitting him again and snarling as she swung with her other arm. The front door burst open and Rhaena rushed in, gun drawn and pointed at them. Sarah stilled and turned to face her, all of them breathing frantically. Wren crept in behind Rhaena; her mouth dropped open at the sight of everything as Rhaena lowered her gun.

“What the hell is going on?” Wren gasped, looking at the mess and the bloody footprints on the floor. Sarah only stared at Rhaena. At the knowing sorrow on her face.

“Did you know?” Sarah asked, her voice barely a whisper. Rhaena looked at Kane and then met her eyes again. “Did you know!?” Sarah cried.

“Know what?” Wren asked, breathing hard and looking between all of them.

“Yes,” Rhaena whispered bleakly. Thunder cracked outside and sheets of rain pelted the windows as silence grew between them all. Sarah’s shoulders slumped and she stood still and broken for a long moment.

“Sarah …” Athan started, his fingers grazing the back of her shoulder. She flinched and jerked herself around, slapping his hand away.

“Don’t!” she yelled. Tears ripped down her cheeks. She saw one slide down his own. “Don’t fucking touch me. You said if you told me, then you’d never see me again.” Her voice broke. “You should have told me then … not after I poured myfuckingheart out, and then you stomped on everything that was left!” She shoved him back against the counter and leaned into his face. “I hate you.Don’t ever come near me again.”

Athan swallowed hard, his eyes hollow and empty. He nodded slowly. “Alright.”

Sarah pulled back, storming past Rhaena and Wren and into his room where Poe watched from his stand. She ignored the innocent bird, sniffling and holding back her sobs as she pulled on her leather jacket and shoved her bloodied feet into her boots—the same ones she’d been wearing when he’d done this to her. She pocketed her phone; her bare legs open to the elements as the rain grew heavier and thunder clapped again. No one stopped her as she rushed back through the apartment for the door.

“Sarah,” Wren reached out to touch her as she passed. Sarah ignored her and stormed toward the elevator at the end of the hall. “Sarah!” Wren called again.

“Leave me alone, Wren,” Sarah choked out as the elevator doors closed in front of her. She leaned on the back wall, her head falling back against it and sobbed, pulling her arms around her middle. When the doors opened, there was no one. No one to see her mourning the loss of her own life. No one coming to stop her. Just an empty hallway and a storm to greet her as she stepped out into the world. It raged. She was drenched from head to toe as she started aimlessly walking herself home.

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