Page 176 of Black Bird

Well … the damage was done now. If she killed him, he supposed he’d be deserving of it. He decided in that moment that maybe it was for the best, as long as she would at least give him the truth. Didn’t he deserve that, too?

“Kane. You cling to him like a lifeline. You always have. I’ve considered him a friend, if that’s what you could even call it all these years. But you know how he feels about you. You allowed him freedom. You allowed him to call you by your name, and outwardly and forcefully hate you. He never received a fate like Patrick’s, andstill,you lie here with me, offering your very blood while you see his face behind your eyelids and yearn for his touch.” Some rush of relief flooded him as soon as he’d said it, though it was laced with a fear of losing his very life. Dahlia looked as if he’d backhanded her. “Why? Why do you love him so? Why could you never love me the way that you love someone who despises you? Or love me reluctantly … like you did Patrick?”

“Is that what you want from me, Decclan? Love?” Dahlia’s mouth curled into a smile that he couldn’t read, no matter how hard he tried. “You’re a fool. Courageous … but a fool. Do you want to know why Patrick sits in an urn above this bed? Do you want to have the same fate Athan Kane will have when he comes crawling back to this coven,beggingfor the life of that pathetic human filth?” She raised onto her elbows and leaned into his face. “I’ll tell you the same thing I told my mate before he burned for something as fickle aslove, Decclan. Love is a weakness. Power is power. There’s no room for the two to co-exist. If you’re trying to tell me that you’ve loved me all this time, then consider this our last fuck. I cannot afford to lose another thing right now. Don’t think that I haven’t suffered because of fuckinglove.” Tears began to line her eyes like mercury glistening under the sun. “I do pity you, Decclan. I do. Because, like me … you’ve fallen for someone who doesn’t even care that you exist. Be grateful that you only fell once.”

And there it was. The truth. No one could help who they fell in love with. She couldn’t help it any more than he could. And she didn’t care that he was even here, giving her everything she could have ever wanted. It seemed pointless to say how many times it butchered him to hear her sounds of pleasure at someone else’s hands while he stood watch outside her door. Seemed pointless to tell her how incredibly beautiful she was, even now that she seemed at her most vulnerable. He couldn’t even be angry with her about her honesty. It was what he’d asked for. Decclan swallowed around the growing knot in his throat, and she sneered at him as if it disgusted her to appear so—human.

“Whatever you’re thinking of saying, don’t. Train yourself to hate me if that’s what you have to do, Decclan. Do not make me kill you, too. Get out of my room.” As he’d just taken her blood, he couldn’t stay even if he begged to. She let him up, and he grabbed his clothes, not even bothering to dress himself as he walked out of her door, slamming it behind him.

One or two members glanced at him on his way through the halls, but no one dared say a word. When he’d finally made it to his chambers, he stormed into the bath. He suddenly had to have any trace of her off of him. Her scent … her blood. But no matter how hard he scrubbed at his immortal skin, the words she spoke would linger and eat away at what little he had left of his dead heart. Decclan finally found himself wondering if he’d lived long enough. An eternity feeling the way he did right now … felt tremendously hopeless.

CHAPTER 31

LINES OF BATTLE

It was getting late now, and most of the employees at EverLife had gone home. Athan held Sarah’s hand as they watched the last one lock up for the night. She had been brilliant. So lethal and vicious that it took everything in him not to become aroused just by the sound of her voice when she’d handled Specter in that house. As much as it excited him to know that her vampirism seemed to be taking a greater hold on her, making them much more equal in strength and in companionship … he couldn’t help but wonder if that taste of his blood from earlier had anything to do with the sudden dark change in her. Nick sat deadly quiet in the back seat as they watched the last car leave the campus. Athan turned to look at her and her eyes followed that lone car until the taillights disappeared down the street.

“You can’t give it all in one night. You know that, right?” He eased his tone into endearment, making sure she knew he wasn’t trying to talk her out of it. It would be pointless anyway. No one would stop her from going after Wren. No one would convince her of another way to stray the coven, either. Her idea was sound, and more clever than he wanted to give her credit for. But it was also risky and would be taxing on her still human body.

“I know. But we can’t wait long. Every day she spends with whoever has her is a risk I’m not willing to take.” She never looked over as she watched the busy street outside the gate to the campus. “Why haven’t they reached out?”

“Sometimes they don’t. Sometimes their silence is a ransom letter enough.”

Sarah sighed through her nose. “It doesn’t make sense. She left two bodies to taunt us. She wrote those digs at you inblood. If she’s trying to get us to come to her … then why is she so quiet now?”

“You make a valid point. Ever since she caught wind of the effects of your blood, she hasn’t requested I come talk to her about EverLife’s supply, either.”

“She knows what happened to the supply. She’s the one that orchestrated it.”

Athan ground his teeth and nodded. “Yeah, but … to my knowledge, she doesn’t know that I know.”

“Are you sure she’s the one that has your friend?” Specter asked from the back seat. Sarah glanced at him then, right before she turned around to look at the man who’d betrayed her.

“Who the fuck asked you?” That primal edge to her voice came back with malice.

“Just hear me out, will you? I don’t know what you’re about to ask me to do, but if what you just said was true … I can think of a couple of reasons why you haven’t heard anything from her. If I don’t have any other choice but to play along, I can at least offer you another theory.”

Athan met eyes with her briefly, and Sarah rolled them, shaking her head and hanging it. “Fine. Let’s hear it.”

“Well,” Nick shifted in the seat leaning closer to the center console than Athan preferred. “If I had gone out of my way to make sure that you knew it was me that left those bodies, then I certainly wouldn’t be hiding the fact that I’d taken something so precious to you.”

“Thank you, CaptainfuckingObvious … that’s what we just got finished saying,” Sarah spat, fingering the trigger on the gun in her lap.

“Wait, wait … let me finish. Now, if I had successfully sabotaged my own blood supply thatIwas funding, made all the necessary threats, and still managed to kidnap someone in the hopes that it would draw you out? I’d sure as hell be boastful about it. As that’s not the case, I feel like for someone that went those lengthsnotto be that way, something big must have happened … or she doesn’t have your comrade at all. Maybe you’re suspecting the wrong one?”

Athan had to admit he had a point. As if they’d both come to the same conclusion at the same time, both he and Sarah’s heads jerked toward each other, wide-eyed. “There’s no way he has the balls to do that,” Sarah breathed, seemingly in disbelief.

“I dunno, love … you’d be surprised how big men’s balls can get when they’re desperate. Didn’t Brent say that his mother was in her last days?”

“Are you talking about Conrad?” Nick asked, intrigued. “Is that the reason he’s put me through all this? To save his wife?”

“Putyouthrough this?” Sarah exaggerated, turning to look at Specter, who winced at her glare. “I honestly want to hang myself for ever having busted my ass to work for you. You’re just as selfish as the rest of them.” Nick eased himself back in his seat, wisely deciding to shut his mouth.

“Maybe Rhaena really did catch something earlier when we were at Wren’s apartment,” Athan offered, reflecting on their conversation outside the coffee shop. Sarah’s attention focused on him. “Stratford’s whole demeanor changed at the end of that conversation.”

“You’re saying you think he already suspects Conrad?”

“Maybe … and if he did, he sure as fuck didn’t tell you that.” If they were right, he’d fillet that fucking prick. Especially after making promises to kill him if anything happened to Wren.

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