Page 102 of Black Bird

“10-4.”

Sarah didn’t spot Brent’s car on their way out, but she guessed the valet parking was on the other side of the building and they weren’t heading that way. She figured she should text him at least. Her hands were still covered in blood. He’d be alright, she hoped. It seemed strange to see Athan driving a car. The night he’d picked her up on Halloween, she couldn’t remember a single thing about the ride to his apartment. There was so much she wanted to ask. So much shock, and here lately … so muchbullshit. Despite it all, she couldn’t help but look over at him. He lookedsogood in that tux. It should have been the last thing she’d be thinking about right now … but so help her … it only made her miss him more.

“Are you alright?” she asked. He looked over at her.

“Yeah, I’m okay … you?”

“Physically, yes.”

He gave her a onceover, those blue eyes more sad than angry. He shifted gears and looked back at the road. “You look beautiful.”

As much as she didn’t want to say it … or mean it … “I was thinking the same thing about you.”

A slight smirk curled the corner of his mouth.

All things considered, this night had gone poorly and the last thing he should be doing was shamelessly flirting with the woman who had made it very clear that she hated his guts and wanted him to stay away from her … and for good reason. But love wasn’t something that Athan was well-versed in and when it came to that beauty sitting next to him in that dress … with that face, and those eyes that could easily bring him to his knees if she so much as cut him a glance … yeah, he was defenseless. He had told her that she was beautiful without even thinking about the words before they rolled right out of his mouth. He never expected her to give the answer that she did.

“I’m sorry … I know that I promised you that I wouldn’t come near you. I never said I wouldn’t intervene if someone tried to hurt you, Sarah.”

She got quiet, rubbing dried blood on her fingers as they fidgeted in her lap. His blood, he realized … when he’d absentmindedly opened his shirt and revealed the tattoo he’d never told her about. Athan wondered if she’d ask now that they were alone.

“Thank you,” she whispered, hanging her head. “I—I still think it’s best.”

“I understand.”

Another long silence. “I’ve heard it hasn’t been very easy for you. At first, I was—glad.” Sarah looked forward at the traffic in front of them. “I wanted you to suffer.”

“I would say that’s fair.” He muttered, gripping the wheel a little tighter. “I—” He was going to ask something else, but immediately changed his mind. If they were going to have this conversation, he didn’t want to be in this car. He didn’t want it to be where he couldn’t look her in the eyes and tell her all the things she deserved to know.

“Finish,” she said, turning her face toward him. He chose not to look at her while he shifted gears.

“You said youwantedme to suffer. Past tense.” Not what he was planning to say, but a gentle shove in a different direction. He could feel her eyes still on him. His blood hummed, every part of him dying to touch her. Her stare lingered too long, and she shifted in her seat, turning herself back toward her window.

“I still want you to stay away from me, Athan.”

“And I will … if that’s really what you want … but …”

She turned her face toward him again and he gave her a sidelong glance. “But?”

He tried earnestly not to smirk when he said it. Athan met her eyes. “Your scent is kind of betraying you.” He shrugged one shoulder, and Sarah’s eyes widened a little. He could barely see the flush in her cheeks when she turned her face away. They didn’t speak for the rest of the ride to her apartment, and she let him open her door and help her out of the car when they pulled up outside her place. The gallery was dark, and Blakely hadn’t made it there yet to keep eyes on her. Athan walked her to the side door to the building, keeping a respectful distance away and pocketing his hands. Sarah paused and turned to face him.

“I really don’t know how to feel anymore,” she said softly, taking her keys out of the small hidden pocket in her dress. “Wren seems wholly comfortable with all this. She told me Rhaena is different too … I haven’t spoken to her about—whatevershe is.”

“It’s not my place—”

“I know.” Her head hung and she fiddled with her keys. “I understand why she didn’t tell me what you did.” She loosed a long breath and raised her face to him. “It wasn’t Wren that you butchered, Athan.” Those eyes gleamed with what looked like tears in the streetlights. His chest tightened at her words, and he couldn’t bear to look at her, although it was exactly what he deserved. His jaw feathered and he managed a slow, understanding nod.

“You’re right.”

“Youmurderedme,” her voice broke. “You swore to protect meafteryou took my life. You made me believe that what we felt for each other, however forbidden it was, was something real, and—then I find out that it wasn’t real for you at all.”

“Sarah—”

She held up a palm, tears streaming down her face. “Stop.” She sniffled, wiping at her cheeks. “You didn’t do any of this because you cared for me … you did it out of guilt.” He could barely hold himself together. It took every ounce of his restraint not to move toward her. “I don’t know what you are. I don’t know what happens when somebody lives through what you’ve done. I don’t really care. But I can tell you this.” Sarah moved her hair behind her shoulder and pointed to the mark he’s left on her neck. “It was real for me, Athan … andthiswasn’t the reason why.” They stared at one another for a long moment. “I know you’ll hang out here until your cop friends show up. Do it in your car. I need you to stay away from me … please.”

He swallowed the knot down that was gathering in his throat, hardly able to breathe around it as it grew bigger and bigger. “Goodnight, Sarah,” he choked, blinking furiously as he turned away from her and walked back to his car. By the time he had closed his car door and looked back, she had disappeared upstairs. A moment later, the lights turned on in her apartment, her shadow moving across the blinds. She was still crying. He didn’t need to hear her to know it. Her silhouette moved back and forth, both hands in her hair. It ripped him apart. Before he could try to stop them, tears leaked down his own cheeks, and he swiped them away.

A fool. He was such a damned fool for letting it come to this. He should have never done any of that with her. At least, not before he’d grown a pair of nuts and told her the truth. A single patrol car pulled up next to him and he and Blakely nodded at one another before Athan glanced back up to the window, finding Sarah’s shadow gone. He backed out hesitantly, and when he pulled onto the street, he decided to head to the precinct instead of back home … the loudest thrashing metal blaring through his speakers. It didn’t drown out the sound of his painful heartbeat as it throbbed in his ears. Athan pulled his cigarettes out, lighting one, and cracking a window. Fuck the rules. He neededsomething.

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