Page 48 of Beautiful Prey

I took the cup of water back to the room and was relieved to see Ethan hadn’t left his spot by the doorway.

I felt his eyes on me as I passed through the door and returned to Emery. I lifted the mask a little more and put the cup to his lips, letting him drink.

He was starting to calm down, and I wanted to keep him that way. I opened my laptop and let him watch some of the videos I saved to distract him. I stayed by his side even then because he asked me to.

“Maybe I won’t see her tonight,” he said quietly beside me.

I knew he was talking about the smiling woman.

“Maybe…” I said after a pause. “But the medicine takes time.”

I looked over and noticed him watching me. “You’ve got me in a chokehold, you know that?” he said softly.

I didn’t understand what he meant. Then I thought of the dream. I started to feel warm at the memory and from his eyeson me. I didn’t know what to say at first. As I reached over to skip to the next video, I asked, “What do you mean?”

He mumbled something, and at first, I didn’t know if I heard him right. But I thought I heard… “Yours.”

My throat tightened as my heart skipped. It would be stupid of me to not notice the way he looked at me, like I was some angel. Or to ignore the things he said and pretend they didn’t mean anything. That he was just playing with me. But I knew he wasn’t. And I knew then what obsession looked like. Something I once thought I felt too, but it was nothing like this…nothing like it at all.

The only thing I refused to see was my own feelings. I was still too afraid to take the plunge into the deep water. Too afraid to drown. Too afraid to be broken more than I already was.

I couldn’t answer him. No matter what I knew now, no matter how confusing my feelings, the past still hurt more than anything, an open wound that wouldn’t heal. And in a way, he was putting salt on that wound without even knowing.

If only I could hear him say he was sorry. Now more than ever, I wanted to hear him say it. I wanted to tell him what he did to me and see his utter devastation. Then maybe…maybe I could forgive him…I could let myself jump.

I wanted to.

And I hated that I did. I hated how he made me feel.

“Eve…”

The lump settled in my throat. Tears stung my eyes, and I refused to look at him. “Yeah?”

“I’m sorry.”

I froze, my face burning, but the rest of me went cold. I looked over at him, wide-eyed.

“I’m sorry I can’t be better,” he said.

I stared at him, almost too shocked to move. Then I cleared my throat and turned my head to blink the tears away. I didn’tsay anything at first, just watched the screen and laughed a little when a cat did a somersault off a chair. “You’ll be better,” I said after a moment. “You’ll see.”

We didn’t talk much for the rest of the session, but in my head, I was already going over tomorrow's meeting. Where we would need to go from here. If he kept on the right path to recovery, he would gain more privileges, he would clear his mind and maybe find peace with his past. And maybe then I could too.

As I shut my laptop, I heard footsteps behind me.

“Bedtime,” Ethan said.

Emery was unchained and transferred to the wheelchair. I still thought it was unnecessary, but Ethan insisted. As I put my laptop back in my bag and turned to say goodbye to Emery before leaving, Ethan was there, standing a foot away, catching me off guard.

“Sorry, didn’t mean to surprise you.” He grinned. “I just wanted to catch you before you ran off. My shift is ending early today, and I’m going to meet a few guys in town for a beer or two. I thought maybe you’d join us and we could talk.”

I stared at him, not daring to glance behind him where Emery was clearly watching and listening. “I can’t tonight,” I said firmly. “I’ve got more work I need to finish.”

“Ah, your thesis, right?”

“Yes, that’s right.”

“Well, how about tomorrow then?”

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