Page 20 of Defining Us

A pitiful laugh flew out of her, and she hid her face in her hands. “He stopped by late last night to drop off some books. We may have, um…kissed,” she confessed, simplifying the situation to lessen the blow at first.

“Oh, good for you,” Vivian said, patting her thigh lovingly.

Mallory lifted her head to gawk at her boss. “Huh?”

“I knew you had a little crush on him. Glad one of you finally made a move.”

Vivian’s casual reaction wasn’t what she’d expected, but when Mallory considered it further, it wasn’t all that surprising. Her boss was the epitome of chill, and she was her friend to boot. Granted, Vivian’s opinion might alter if she heard things had progressed beyond a kiss.

“I feel terrible. It really wasn’t appropriate to let him in after hours…” She trailed off, still unable to admit to the full truth.

“Mallory, he could’ve bent you over this desk and banged your brains out and I’d still be happy for you.”

Well, then. Guess that settles that.

All that worrying for nothing. Served her right. But the knowledge that her position at the library was secure despite last night’s transgressions only raised her morale slightly.

She leaned back in the chair, sighing with defeat. “Even still. It’s not like it’ll work out.”

“Says who?”

Mallory threw her a look. “Christine, obviously.”

“Uh, you definitely don’t have to worry about that.”

Confusion swirled like a whirlpool. “What do you mean? At book club, everyone joked that she was trying to win him back.”

“Key word there beingjoked. I don’t know why she’s in town, but trust me. If she did want to rekindle things, Joel would not be on board.”

“Why not?”

Vivian struggled with how to answer. “God, where to even begin? I don’t know everything, and what I do know is hearsay. But it was bad. And I love to gossip as much as anyone, but you should ask him yourself.”

Exactly what Mallory originally planned to do before witnessing yesterday’s interlude at the bakery. Angst churned in her belly, the possibility that she’d jumped to conclusions a tough pill to swallow. She’d been so programmed to believe things would never go her way that it was effortless to default to the worst-case scenario. While she wasn’t positive exactly why Joel met with Christine yesterday, she’d never know the truth if she didn’t ask.

Evidently, all that introspection was written over her face, because Vivian gave her shoulder an encouraging squeeze before she lifted the lockbox and tucked it against her shapely hip. “Don’t you have a date tonight?” she asked.

Shit.Mallory glanced at her watch. She was due to meet Tyler in an hour. She’d suggested the book club’s favorite tavern as the location for their date since it was a reliable spot. But it meant she’d have to depart soon to arrive in time, especially if the roads were rougher than usual, thanks to the rainfall.

“Yeah, I do,” she admitted resignedly.

“Hmm.”

She snorted at Vivian’s astute answer, and her boss winked before heading back to her office. As the rest of the volunteers finished for the day, Mallory touched up her makeup. Even though there was an urgency to learn the truth from Joel careening through her like a rushing river, she was at a loss when it came to the next steps.

The sensible course of action was to follow through with tonight’s date and resolve things with Joel at a time when she wasn’t teeming with one emotion after the other. Her return to impulsive behavior had already contributed to one meltdown this week, so it was best to play it safe.

Haven’t you played it safe enough?

Mallory shoved away that internal remark before it got the better of her. Before heading out, she folded the evaluation form and slipped it into her purse. She’d take care of it in the morning, confident she’d be prepared come Monday.

But as she neared the door, she almost tripped over her feet when she noticed that the ceramic stand contained one umbrella—Joel’s. She hadn’t realized he’d left it last night, and irresistible memories surfaced, threatening her resolve.

I care, Mallory.

Nevertheless, she forced herself to continue with her plan, although she grabbed the umbrella before leaving the library. The rain had eased off, now more of a mist than a deluge, and she set off on the usual route toward the tavern. As she traveled the familiar roads, the windshield wipers moving every minute to sweep away the light drizzle, a familiar sensation wormed its way into her chest.

Flashbacks of that fateful ride home with Joel consumed her. How the wind had coasted through her hair, and the moonlight had danced over the planes of his forearms while he clutched the steering wheel. How the energy between them had vibrated andcoiled, so palpable that she’d been an utter fool to believe it was all in her head.