Page 59 of Paddy

“You know, before my Pa died, he made me promise him that I’d meet a nice Irish girl. Think this might be the first time I actually listened to him,” he joked, as I cradled his face in my hands watching him bite that sexy lower lip of his.

“I love how you make me feel accepted. I think for the first time in my life I'm actually curious about my Irish heritage. I've never been before, but I think I may want to go someday.” He tapped my nose.

“See, I knew I was good for something other than just corrupting you. Although I'd argue that you like when I do.” Well, I wasn't going to fight him on that. “Ireland alwayswelcomes home its lost children, new and old. I reckon you would love it there. When I get a chance to visit it's like a recharge. You don't want to do nothing but explore.”

Speaking ofexploring.“Paddy, I want to go into town today. I’ve never ventured a really small town before. I want to see what it's like here.” He stroked my face, hooking his scarred leg with mine.

“Like I told you before, there ain't much to do in town. But there's this diner that makes these really tasty American pancakes and pies. The people here, they love their maple. So, everything you eat is flavored with maple.” Climbing off the bed, I reached for my robe, making my way to the bathroom with Paddy not far behind.

“But first we gotta get in the shower, because all we've been doing all night is fucking and all we smell like is sex.

***

As promised Paddy drove me into town and it was just as he described, quiet and boring. They didn't have many shops as the metropolitan Boston and it was just as sleepy as I'd say the islands were. But truthfully, it had been a while since I'd experienced quiet and boring, so sometimes it was nice to just be doing something most considered normal. We pulled into the diner, which from the outside looked pretty empty.

Preparing for stares the moment we walked in, it was surprising that the employees inside actually greeted us with kindness.

“You two seem like you're not from around here.” Our waitress, Doris approached. She was blonde like Paddy, but her eyes were brown and small, almost like she had something else in her.

“Is it that obvious?” Paddy asked, a charming smile forming on his face.

“Yeah, a little bit. Your clothes, your car, your attitude scream big city,” she stated, tucking her straight hair behind her ear as she fiddled with a pen and paper.

“Yeah, you're right. We're from Boston,” I smiled.

“I was telling the boys back there that you and your wife look like movie stars. So, it don't surprise me much that y'all are from Boston.” At the sound ofyour wife, Paddy and I shared a look, but because we had that anonymity, it didn't feel right to correct her.

“Well, what can I get you two?” Without looking at the menu, Paddy ordered two of their specials, along with freshly made orange juice and their signature coffee.

“I'll put that right in for you. Shouldn't be long considering how dead we are. Feel free to put music on if you like. We got a jukebox over there that plays songs at random, but if you put in a dime in it it’ll bump up your request.

“Thanks. I think we'll do that,” Paddy said, as he took my hand and walked us over.

“I hope that wasn't weird or anything.”

“What do you mean?” I shrugged.

“You know, her just assuming we're married.” He shrugged.

“Not any different than when we first met and drove to the mechanic together.”

“Yeah, but that was different. We weren'tfuckingthen.” He flipped through the song catalog, lingering on my single “Teach me tonight.”

“Paddy, don't youdare.” With a wicked smile, he stuck in the dime and the familiar opening horns and piano chords I spent three months writing, filled the diner’s airwaves. He grabbed me, leading me into a spontaneous dance back to our seats, and I had to admit itdidput a smile on my face.

“It ain't weird that people think we’re married. It just means we look in love.” He grinned, his fingers meeting his foreheadas he saluted me. Was I in love with him? Could you even be in love with the person you stepped out of your marriage for? I adored the way I felt in his company. Hell, I just really adored him. But was itlove? Sometimes I wasn't even sure what love was, because what I felt with him had been something I never felt before. Something new. Something different. How did you describe something you had nothing to compare to?

“Do you think what we have is love?” Fiddling with the napkin that kept his utensils, he shrugged.

“I know I love the way I feel about you. I think that we have something special. I just…” he hesitated, followed by a sigh. “If you didn't have plans to leave your husband, I'm not sure whether or not it'd make a difference.” I was always so caught up in the good sides of things, that I had often lost sight of the bad. What had I planned to do? Vernon had been my whole life, the father of my son, the glue to my career. But Paddy, he reminded me what it was like to love myself. To remind me that I was fully deserving of a relationship that was fulfilling and not just functioning. It was easy to forget what our situation was when we were this happy and it was that I was married, and that he was my lover. To truly be with him, I'd have to sacrifice everything.

“I thought you liked our arrangement.”

“I do, but occasionally I wonder. Do you ever see a future for us?” The waitress returned, lying two plates of pancakes, eggs and sausage in front of us with a bottle of their homemade maple syrup. Giving our thanks, I waited until she was on the back of the other side to finish our conversation.

“If I didn't have Elijah, things would be so different. I grew up without a father, and I didn't want him to grow up without his.”

“I know Pretty, I know. The kid. I gotta say, I love him. Maybe as much as I care for you. I want what's best for him, but Ialso want what's best for you.” I reached in to caress his face. He was so thoughtful, sometimes I wasn't sure I even deserved it. It always seemed like the best things that happened to you were when you were in a tight spot.

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