Page 37 of Tormented Dreams

She wasn't sure she'd be able to verbalise a response to his next question either, but that same demand in his deep, sexy, slightly accented voice made her at least want to try, no matter how hard it seemed.

"Why did you come here today, Grace?"

She swallowed convulsively before she managed to find her voice. "I…got a call."

Her words were wooden and stilted, and she twisted the strap on her handbag unconsciously between her fingers.

"From the…donor programme…" she qualified, trailing off.

Xavier took her fidgeting hands in his own. How hot they were. How safe and warm and small hers felt wrapped in those strong, tanned fingers. Jeez! What was wrong with her, coming up with such inane drivel at such a crucial time.

"They said…" She had to stop and clear her throat, compose herself before she carried on.

"They said they had a potential match and that…that the donor was a doctor of Spanish descent, who wanted his name madeknown… if that's what I wanted." Now the words had started, they tumbled out in a rush.

"And is that what you want, Grace?" Xavier asked gently, capturing her gaze with his own. His innate calmness soothing her ruffled edges.

Grace looked into those deep, dark eyes that spoke to her soul in a language she didn't know but understood instinctively. She searched his handsome face for the answers but knew she was still going to have to ask.

She swallowed, her throat so dry the simple action seemed almost impossible. "I want to know exactly what it means, Xavier," she finally whispered, barely daring to hope.

"It means I want to be the father of your children, Grace," Xavier replied decisively. "It means I want you to know who the father of your children is. I want you to have the support a father should give, and…"

Xavier paused, looking away, and Grace couldn't help raising a palm to his cheek.

"Xavier?" she queried urgently, her voice barely more than a bated breath in the silence of the room.

He turned back and looked her straight in the eye. "And I want your children to know who their father is."

"D-does this mean…" Grace stumbled on the words, scared to give them voice in case her assumptions were wrong.

Xavier lurched forward and clasped her face in his hands. His eyes so intense and heated she thought she might burn from the fire that lit them.

"It means that I love you, Grace. It means I want to make your dreams come true. It means I want to find out if there's still a chance we can have a future together despite the newness and the misunderstandings and all the things that have gone before."

He crushed her to his chest, burying his face in her hair before he whispered in her ear, "It means I want to be the father of your children in every sense you can imagine."

They were quiet for several minutes, just sitting there, desperately clinging together, mired in their own thoughts.

Finally, Xavier leaned away, but only enough to rest his forehead on her own. She could feel the heat of his breath on her mouth, feel the pounding of his heart beneath his shirt, and knew it matched her own.

"And I'd much rather do it the old-fashioned way. But if that's not what you want, then I would at least like you to consider what I'm prepared to offer as a sperm donor. And that includes full support as well as an extended family."

Grace let out a strangled cry and couldn't hold herself back any longer. She dove for his mouth, finding his lips with her own and kissing him with all the passion that had been missing from her life since she had so foolishly sent him away.

Xavier returned the kiss, worshipping her mouth with his own, reflecting the hunger and fervency as their tongues mated in a familiar ritual that negated the need for words.

Eventually, when they both gave in to the need for air, Xavier voiced them anyway. "I take it that's a yes?" he asked huskily, trailing his thumb across her cheekbone, her bottom lip, but never once freeing her from the intensity of his midnight eyes.

"Absolutely, yes!" Grace agreed, peppering quick kisses all over his face. "I love you, Xavier. I don't want to live my life without you. Even the thought of having children seemed somehow empty without you."

"And I love you too, Grace. I couldn't contain the jealousy I felt when I got the letter from the donor programme. It made me realise I needed to try again to find a way to have you in my life. Even if that involvement stopped at being the father of your child and nothing more."

"I'm sorry I sent you away, Xavi. I was so upset that I let fear get in the way of my judgement when I should have just talked everything through with you," she admitted with true remorse.

"But there never seemed to be any time, and I just got more and more frustrated until it all just erupted into a horrible, ugly scene, which could have completely been avoided if I'd just managed to keep my head."

"Ah, sweetheart! It's true we only hurt the ones we love." Xavier pulled her from the chair and settled her onto his knee, unwilling to have even that small amount of distance between them. "The passion which vibrates between us because of the sadomasochistic characteristics we share makes everything so much more explosive. That's simply our nature. It may not always be easy, but it's one hell of a damn sight better than apathy could ever be." Xavier smiled dotingly, wrapping her in the circle of his arms.

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