Page 83 of Wildest Dreams

Listening to the song, my heart breaks a little more and this song is so fitting for all of us. The way we all grew up together. The best of friends until the very end.

The church is filled with sniffles, quiet sobs and some loud. The pastor clears his throat as he begins the ceremony where we all say goodbye to our friend.

We say goodbye to our Harlow.

Here without you - 3 Doors Downplays as we exit the church, Harlow back on the shoulders of the pallbearers as they lead us to her final resting place. Tucked under a cherry blossom tree just before the creek. We used to hang out around thechurch as kids, this cherry tree was one of our many climbing adventures.

A smile pulls at my lips as I remember the fond memories, but the fond is soon forgotten as I watch them lower her into the ground and my chest aches.

“Ashes to ashes, dust to dust...” the pastor says as he throws dirt onto her casket and the rest of us throw soft yellow roses into where she lays.

My eyes move to Austin who has his hands fisted into his pockets, eyes red rimmed and swollen as tears freely flow down his cheeks.

He is the last to throw his rose, and once he does, he shakes his head from side to side before turning on his heel and walking away.

Me, Riggs and Pacey all exchange looks but Riggs shakes his head softly, and we know not to follow. He needs his space. He needs some time. He has just put the love of his life to rest, where she'll find peace whilst he lives in eternal hell until the day they meet again.

We're the last to leave, and when we do, the drive is silent and slow.

No one is quite ready to say goodbye, but we had to.

She'll live on through the wind in the trees, the sound of the birds chirping, the wildflowers blooming in the fields... she will live on among us, reminding us when needed that she is with us.

Always.

The wake isat our ranch. Joy offered but mom thought it was only right that we hosted. I sit in the corner, just watching as the range of emotions take over every single person. Sadness,happiness, joy, anger, laughter and grief. Pain stricken grief. Dixie appears with the baby monitor clasped in her hand as she seeks me out.

“Hey you,” she smiles, leaning down and kissing me on the cheek, her scent surrounding me.

“Hey,” I smile back at her, her hand is on my shoulder and I cover it with mine.

“Has Austin returned yet?” she asks, her blue eyes scanning the room.

“Nope,” I sigh, and I didn't want to admit it out loud, but I was beginning to worry.

And just as I sent my prayer up to let him return safe, Hudson bursts through the front door. Riggs storms over to him, a thunderous scowl on his face.

“Sorry to barge in Riggs.” He glares around the room before his attention is back on Riggs. I wheel myself over, Pacey hobbling to stand behind Riggs too. “Austin has turned himself in.”

“What?!” Riggs' gruff voice booms around the room. Buck is up and raging like a bull as he storms across the floor towards where Hudson stands.

My dad is close behind, grabbing Buck and holding him back. Not that he looks as if he is going to fight anyone, but we can see the emotion that is building behind his eyes. The anger and grief all mixing into one. It’s a dangerous combination.

“Said he has nothing left to fight for.”

“Fuck,” Riggs covers his mouth with his hand as he rubs his chin.

“Now what?” I ask, looking up at my older brother.

“We're fucked.”

The evening hit a further downward spiral after the news that Austin had turned himself in. The sombre mood just grew and one by one, people left.

Sighing as Riggs fills my glass with whiskey, I give a shallow nod as thanks.

“Fuck,” he sighs, his deep voice vibrating around the room as he falls into the chair in the corner. Aspen is at home with Blue and Buck trying to get in touch with Austin's lawyer, but with him handing himself in, I'm not sure if there is much more they can do.

My dad has been quiet since finding out. I think a lot of that is because of guilt. He wanted to turn himself in, but selfishly I told him not to. Not because I wanted Austin to go down, but because I wanted to find out what actually happened that night.

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