Page 130 of Wildest Dreams

We've lost far too much this year, I wasn't ready to lose him too.

My dad.

The fiercest of them all. Hard. Tough. Knew what was best for all of us. But over the years, the tough exterior slowly crumbled, and the final stroke was Lainey. She broke every wall down like a wrecking ball.

No one prepares you for what it feels like to lose a parent, and for those who have lost one, I understand them so much more now. I never understood the pain that comes with it, the immense grief that tears you inside out. But here I am. Living without the man who has always been my hero.

Always imagined he would die in his sleep peacefully, next to my mom.

But he died saving Dixie.

He died saving the only girl I have loved, saved her so her daughter didn't have to grow up without her mom just like she did.

Choking on my intake of breath as silent sobs rattle through my chest, I sit beside my dad, my head resting on his blanket covered body when I hear a sound of footsteps filling the room. Lazily looking up, I see my brothers.

All a little broken, all have tear-stained cheeks.

Riggs gives me a shallow nod as he walks towards me, Pacey next to him and their hands are on my back.

“I'll take it from here dad, I’ll look after them all,” Riggs' voice trembles, “no one will get our legacy dad, I hope we all make you proud... I hope wehavemade you proud,” he stammers over choked sobs. “Live by the ranch, die by the ranch,”and with that, we bow our heads and grieve our father.

The minutes slipped into hours,and I am finally being wheeled towards Dixie's room and my heart thumps when I see her eyes on mine. A soft smile gracing her lips and I know I am about to wipe it away in an instant.

Riggs gives me a soft squeeze of my shoulder before he walks out of the room, leaving me and her alone.

“I am so glad you're okay,” I whisper, pushing from my chair and kissing her on her lips.

“You have your dad to thank for that,” her smile is still on her pretty face and my heart goes from racing to aching deep insidemy chest. “How is he doing?” she asks, an oxygen tube in her nose.

“Dixie...” I whisper, clutching her hand.

“Tripp...” and I hate that she has that playful tone in her voice. It’s my favorite and I am about to destroy it within seconds.

I shake my head from side to side, my lips turning down as I fight off the onslaught of tears that are about to rip through me.

“No,” she whispers, her bottom lip trembling. “No,” she repeats again, and I swallow down the lump that is burning my throat.

I nod, tears brimming in my eyes and with one soft blink, they roll down my cheeks.

And the wave of grief drags me straight back down as she cries into her hands, and this time I can't come up for air.

It has hold of me, pulling me deep into the crevices of the darkest ocean.

TWO MONTHS LATER

The warm water of the creek washes over me, slipping beneath the surface, peace radiates in my chest for just a second. It's been a hard two months.

Dad's funeral was held two weeks after he died. The whole town showed up as we buried him at the foot of the field. He had already picked his spot and wanted to be one with his ranch. My mom is growing stronger every day and having Lainey here has definitely helped. She is crawling around and causing all kinds of mischief but watching her grow is something else.

I have healed completely and my god, the first time I was back on a horse, I felt free. I felt like this is where I needed to be. I needed to be on the ranch, more than ever. I didn't want to go back to being sheriff. I loved it, but now, I had a new purpose.

To be the best I could be. To help Riggs keep Rivera Ranch going. I can feel dad wherever I am, but I mainly feel him in the soft breeze as I ride down towards the creek, and each time I pass, I feel a warmth in my chest that I can't explain. He dances with the leaves before he disappears over the mountains. I will never be over his death, it's changed me. Made me a better man and I never want to go back to who I was before.

Lucian and Wallen went down for fraud and it turns out that they were also responsible for Clay’s death. When they dug further, they contacted the coroner who gave his notes and he had found a high level of drugs that were in his bloodstream and caused the heart attack. When the Attaway's home was searched, they found the substance they had slipped into his drink that night. Lucian was the one who gave them to Wallen. They are now serving many years in Wyoming, and I hope that Clay can rest peacefully.

He never deserved to die, especially at the hands of his friend and brother.

My chest aches and I find myself rubbing it out.

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