“It's over Dixie,” he calls back just as I see soft smoke drifting under the door.
“No, No, No!” I bang harder, “Please don't do this, please let me out,” I scream, banging again but I hear nothing back.
Looking around the room, there is no other way for me to escape.
Shit.
Banging again, the smoke is getting heavier.
“Please, someone help me!”
Bang.
Bang.
Bang.
Tears stream down my cheeks as I cry, knowing this is it for me.
I am never escaping.
It doesn't take long for the smoke to eventually take over the small restroom so I lay myself down and close my eyes, and before I am plunged into darkness, memories flood me of Tripp and Lainey and what our life could have been.
They say your brain lives for seven minutes after you die.
What would my seven minutes look like?
Lainey.
Tripp.
Orla.
Jorge.
Riggs.
Aspen.
Pacey.
Tripp.
Lainey.
At least I know she'll be loved.
He will bring her up as his own, love her with all he has... that's all I want.
The smoke consumes me whole, and I wait for the flames to lick my skin and with one last exhale of breath, I whisper, “I love you.”
CHAPTER THIRTY-NINE
TRIPP
My mom's screams haunt the hospital hallways.
Grief is a funny thing. It comes and goes in waves. Crashing over you and pulling you under, holding on to you till your very last breath before letting you resurface for one gasp of air before dragging you straight back down again. With each pull, the tighter your chest feels. But then there are moments when peace consumes you, knowing that they're in fact in a better place, but that's only momentary. A split second maybe, before you're back beneath the waves fighting for every breath.