Page 4 of Honey Bee Hearts

“I said no,” I lie again. “I don’t need more medicine.”

I’m not even taking what she’d prescribed me the first time, but she doesn’t need to know that.

Dr. Julia smiles gently. “Okay. I believe you, Fable.” She looks down at her watch and sighs. “We’ve reached the end of our time for today though, so I’ll see you the same time next week, okay?”

“She’s definitely checking if you need to be sent to the looney bin,” Jinx says as Dr. Julia stands up and moves over to her desk. “I don’t like her.”

I snort at Jinx’s words and Dr. Julia looks at me over her shoulder. “What was that, Fable?”

“Nothing,” I reply, standing up slowly and making sure I have my balance under control before I walk toward the door. “See you next week, Dr. Julia.”

Jinx disappears, but I know she follows me home. She always follows me home.

I wonder if Steve’s family sees him. . .

Chapter 2

Fable

“You should get a cat,” Jinx muses as she trails her fingers along my bookshelf. “Or maybe a plant. A plant could be nice.”

I glance over at her, at the way she doesn’t stir the air. I’m not crazy. I realize she’s not really here. Jinx is nothing more than a manifestation of my memories and guilt now, a side effect of knowing her so well. When she’d been alive, Jinx had been my consciousness then, too, though I’ll admit, she was more often the devil than the angel on my shoulder. At first, in the hospital, I thought I was seeing a ghost, that somehow, Jinx was haunting me. Now, I know different.

I could never be so lucky as to be haunted by my best friend.

Still, though I know she’s no phantom, she truly does haunt me, and I prefer this to the overbearing static the pill Dr. Julia prescribed me caused. My mind can insert Jinx into all scenarios with ease, so it does. I haven’t been able to let Jinx go. I can’t just forget her. I’d rather feel like a crazy person and talk to my best friend. I’d rather hear her voice rather than forget what it sounds like.

Dr. Julia would be disappointed in me if she finds out I stopped taking the pills. I’m not supposed to encourage the PTSD-induced hallucinations, not if I want to get better. Thing is, there is no getting better if Jinx isn’t here. I lost a major part of me that day, and I don’t even mean just my leg. I lost a piece of my heart.

“I can barely keep myself alive at the moment, let alone another living thing,” I say, shaking my head. “A cat deserves someone who can be there for it. Hell, a plant deserves to be watered at the very least. You know we never had a green thumb.”

“Hmmm. . . you’re probably right. You have been skipping showers more than normal. Totally fine. You’re killing the greasy, depressed look,” she says, grinning.

I sigh. “I’ll take a shower.”

“Yes. Do that! And then maybe dress in a big ballgown and go to the grocery store? You used to love that,” she says.

My throat closes, and my vision goes blurry for a moment. “It’s not the same without you here,” I croak, my fingers tightening in my pant leg.

Jinx’s smile turns sad. “I know, Everhart. I know. But you’ve gotta start living again, man. You don’t deserve to waste away in this hellhole, pining away for me.” She fluffs her hair jokingly, the vibrant pink of it still somehow not as pink as it had been when she was alive. “I mean, I know I’m amazing and all, but you don’t deserve this. You deserve better.”

I shrug. “You were my best friend. Hell, we were roommates. What do you expect me to do?”

“Make new friends. Call the ones you had. What about Lily? You liked Lily.”

My fingers tighten further. “Lily stopped calling months ago. She just kept telling me how sorry she was. I couldn’t stand it anymore.”

“What about Henry? You thought he was cute before. Maybe sex will help?” she tries.

“Henry never even bothered calling after the accident,” I murmur.

“That fucker!” Jinx growls. “You’re right. Fuck Henry. He doesn’t deserve you.”

My laptop buzzes with a notification and I glance over at it. It’s an email, but I can’t be bothered to check it. It’s always things like hospital bills and worksheets from Dr. Julia she wants me to work through. There’s no reason to check it right now.

It dings again and Jinx glances over at it. “Aren’t you going to check that, Everhart?”

“It’s probably spam,” I murmur. “Ignore it.”

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