Page 73 of Barbed Wire Hearts

I nod, and then realizing she can’t see, I say, “Yeah. It was a shitty time, but I excelled in the military. Apparently, rigid direction and no-nonsense orders were easy for me. But none of that made the killin’ easy,” I admit, tightening my arms around her. “What we were doin’ over there, it didn’t sit right with me, but there were plenty of good ole boys who enjoyed it. That’s what really made me want to leave, but I was stuck there for at least four years per my contract, so I sucked it up, and I did what I was told. I didn’t do good things. I shot what were probably innocent people. I watched my brothers get blown up and lose limbs. I nearly got taken out with a grenade at one point. Froze up, and one of my brothers leapt on it to save the rest of us. That kind of shit sticks with you.”

“I understand,” she murmurs. “You’re saying this as if it’ll make you a bad person. None of that makes me want to run like you all feared.”

“No,” I say, turning her chin so she meets my eyes. “The part that’ll make you run is that I enjoyed it.”

Her eyes widen. “Which part?”

“The killin’,” I admit. “It didn’t set right, but part of me enjoyed it, and when there was an officer who was causin’ trouble, I took matters into my own hands when the higher ups refused to step in. Asshole was assaulting women left and right. Because it wasn’t our people, because it was our so called enemy, they were letting it go. They didn’t even give him a slap on the wrist. But you know what else was happening around that time? We were gettin’ blown up and shot at. Pine boxes were coming home one after the other. You wouldn’t believe how many “friendly fires” happened, how many people took matters into their own hands.” I stare into her eyes. “I took care of him, and I didn’t feel bad about it. They said he had a family, a couple of kids. They think their daddy’s a war hero. No use lettin’ them think otherwise.”

She sucks in a breath. “Is this your attempt to convince me not to love you?”

“Too late for that,” I say, my face growing serious. “You already do, and even if you asked me nicely now, I wouldn’t let you go.” I lean in and press a lingering kiss against her lips. “War changes people, witchy woman. I may joke and laugh and tease, but I’m still that man in the middle of a war, and I’ll kill anything that dares to hurt you. Even if it’s someone I care about. Even if it’s me.”

Her eyes widen. “Wiley.”

“Don’t worry, Kate,” I say with a grin before releasing her chin. “I love you, too.”

ChapterForty-Five

Kate

Iunderstand now. Some of it. Wiley thought he was revealing some great secret about how much of a monster he is, but all I heard was a story about a desperate boy searching for himself. Sure, he thinks he liked it, and that should worry me, but it doesn’t disturb me as much as I thought it would. Wiley doesn’t treat me like anything other than a princess. He’s never said a mean word to me, and he certainly hasn’t hurt me. He’s just a man who is so bright and happy to prevent others from feeling the way he did when he’d joined the military. His jokes are a shield. His teasing is a mask. So he’s not as wholesome as I thought he was. It doesn’t seem like there were that many options at the time, and during the war, there was all kinds of terrible shit happening. The news wasn’t exactly forthcoming with what exactly was going on over in Afghanistan.

To me, he’s no monster. In fact, even if he were a monster, I wouldn’t care.

He’s right. I do love him. I love all three of them. Nothing made that clearer than almost dying. Despite everything happening in my life, I want them. I want to be here with them every year for this cattle drive. I wanna be a part of their life, of their family.

I ride with him on his horse for a while before switching back to riding in the side-by-side with Levi. Though I’m bruised and scratched up, I hadn’t thought I was that sore until I rode on Wiley’s horse with him for a few hours. Now my body aches and feels stiffer than a board as I climb back in the side-by-side and settle against the cushions Naomi brought for us. That woman is a godsend.

“You good?” Levi asks.

I wave away his concern. “I’m fine. Just thinking.”

“Wiley tell you his past?” he ask, keeping his eyes straight ahead.

“Some of it,” I admit. “Why? You gonna tell me yours?”

“Not yet,” he murmurs. “Soon.”

I nod. “Okay.” I touch his forearm and smile before settling back with a sigh.

Sunset comes quickly and we get the cattle settled and grazing before the sun fully drops beneath the horizon. Dakota decides it’s as good a night as any to practice shooting again and sets up some bottles against the mountain, far enough away from the cattle that they won’t spook. The sounds of our firing gun attract a few of the ranchers who decided to stay this night, including an older man. His face is weathered from the sun and age, but his eyes are as bright blue as ever. He whistles as I fire and miss the bottle for what seems the millionth time.

“You practicin’ over here, kids?” he asks with crinkled eyes. I decide I like him immediately.

“Tryin’ to, Ned. Kate here is new to guns, so I’ve been tryin’ to teach her,” Dakota admits, switching into what I’d consider a customer service voice when speaking to the older man. Clearly, he respects him.

“New to guns?” Ned repeats, his eyes widening in surprise. “Where you from that they don’t got any guns?”

“The city,” I shrug. “We didn’t exactly have grizzlies to worry about.”

“But you had people,” Ned says with a raise of his brow. “People are the real dangers. Not the wildlife. I imagine the city has crime.”

I hesitate. “It did.”

“Then it’s a good thing to know how to shoot,” he nods, but takes a step closer. “I’m sure Dakota here is a good teacher, but something I noticed. . . if you don’t mind my advice?”

“I don’t,” I answer with a smile as he steps up beside me.

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