Page 117 of That One Heartbreak

He owed Paul so much. He needed to tell him that.

“I don’t know if Kate will forgive me,” he told Paul. “But I know I need to try to earn it.” He swallowed hard. “It would be so much easier if you could give me a sign, man. A little thunder. A flash of lightning. Make the sun go out for a moment.”

But there was nothing. Just the peacefulness of the cemetery and the blueness of the sky, peppered with little wispy clouds and the contrail of an airplane that had passed over so high it hadn’t made a sound.

And maybe that’s what life was. There weren’t signposts pointing you in the right direction. You didn’t get to know what the results of your actions were before you took them. You just had to navigate it, decision by decision, hoping they’re the right ones. Knowing that some of them would be wrong, but you’d carry on anyway.

And yes, his decisions this week were so damn bad he felt like trash. He’d hurt the woman he was in love with.

He had to show her how damn regretful he was. Not for trying to protect her and the kids – because that was in his nature and he wasn’t sure he could ever change that – but for thinking that overrode the decisions she made. For ending things with her because he couldn’t deal with the guilt of not being there to protect Ethan when he needed it.

“I’m surprised to see you here.”

He turned to see Mary Cooper standing there. The woman who’d been desperate to hear his conversation with Kate at the library yesterday was wearing a knit dress, carrying a bouquet.

“My husband’s grave is over there,” she said, pointing at a headstone two plots down. “I always leave a rose for Kate’s husband when I come to visit Ralph.” She picked a yellow rose out and laid it in front of Paul’s headstone. “So have you pulled your head out of your sweet behind yet?”

It took him a moment to respond. Mostly because he wasn’t sure he’d heard her correctly.

“My sweet behind?” he repeated.

“Voted the best ass in Hartson’s Creek for the last five years running,” she said, sounding deadly serious.

“By who?”

“The Hartson’s Creek Stitching Society. At our annual awards dinner. You get beaten out for the best arms by your baby brother, sadly.”

“You vote about male body parts at your awards dinner?” He didn’t even know they had an awards dinner. Let alone that his ass had been a subject of it for the last five years.

“Among other things. And let me tell you,” she said, waggling her finger. “You’re currently running high in the charts for villain of the year for what you’ve done to our dear Kate.”

He swallowed hard. “Well, I’m trying to rectify that.”

Mary’s lips curled into a smile and for a minute she looked like a sweet older lady. “You better do it right,” she told him. “Woo her. Show her she’s a prize. That woman deserves romance. You’d better give it to her.”

“Romance?” He felt a little weak.

“Absolutely. And don’t half ass it.” She reached for his arm, patting it. “Ooh, solid. Maybe we need to rethink you losing out to Hendrix.”

Jesus Christ, was he in some kind of alternate universe?

“Now stop talking to the dead and start thinking about the living,” she told him. “You aren’t going to get the answers you need here.”

He was ready to leave, anyway. Not just because his conversation with Paul had been distinctly one way. But because he was sweltering in his dress clothes. And he was due on site, too. Pres had been understanding about his need to come in late, but the job still needed to get done.

But there was one thing that Mary was wrong about. He’d gotten the answers he needed here. Even if they’d been in his heart all along.

The community pool was a ten-minute walk from their house, so Kate hadn’t bothered to drive there.

Ethan was sitting on the side of the pool in the shade, his arm protected by the waterproof sleeve she’d bought him, while his friends swam in the center, throwing a ball at each other and occasionally at Ethan.

She could tell he was itching to get in. She was proud of the way he didn’t moan that he couldn’t join them, or that he was getting the ball less than anybody else playing in the pool.

Addy was in the little pool, splashing with her friends while they talked nonstop about something that made them all giggle.

Kate had taken a book with her, but it was completely unread. Instead, her head had been full of thoughts as she’d watched her children play. Thoughts of James – who she’d see in two days, and how they only had a couple of summers left before he’d be going to college. Of Ethan and how she could keep him entertained with only one arm. Of Addy and the way she was so sweet and kept running to Ethan to make sure he was okay.

And even though his friends were there, watching him, he’d treated her sweetly back.

---