Page 110 of That One Heartbreak

He looked up at her. “What?”

“What’s happening here? Why did you show up in the middle of the night and take the grill when I asked you not to? Why didn’t you talk to me about it?”

The breath he let out felt ragged. “Because I knew you wouldn’t let me.” The memory of last night, of her asking him to leave still stung. He’d deserved it. He knew that much.

She hadn’t wanted him to take the grill. She’d made it completely clear. But the truth was, he couldn’t sleep knowing it was near the house. He’d tossed and turned, thinking about it. Needing it gone. And yeah, he knew it made no difference really. Ethan wasn’t going near that thing after the experience he’d just had.

But he needed to do something.Anything. Needed to make the world right again. And that meant moving the grill.

“I need to make sure you’re all safe,” he said. “Always.”

She let out a low breath. “A grill isn’t going to make the difference. We’re a little battered and bruised but we’re fine.”

He shook his head. Didn’t she understand? He had to do this. He had to do so much more. “I promised Paul I’d take care of all of you. And I haven’t. James was at a bonfire. Ethan got hurt. You and I…” He shook his head. “I shouldn’t have pursued you.”

“What?” Kate asked, keeping her voice low. What was he trying to say?

Her eyes tried to catch his, but he wouldn’t look her way. A shiver wracked down her spine.

“I can’t love you and keep you safe,” he told her. “Every time I try, things just get worse. Maybe it’s a message. Paul wouldn’t have wanted this.”

Her throat felt so tight it was hard to breathe. “How do you know what Paul would have wanted?”

“You and the kids were his biggest joy. Nothing else mattered to him. Nothing. I saw him fall, Kate. I couldn’t save him. It’s my fault he died. It’s my fault he’s not here to take care of you. If he’d been alive Ethan wouldn’t be hurt.”

“He had an aneurysm,” she whispered. “It had been there for years without him knowing. That’s what the medical examiner said. It burst, nobody caused it. It was nobody’s fault.” She lifted her hand to wipe the tears away. And each one of them felt like another wound to his heart.

He’d never hated anybody as much as he hated himself right now.

“He knew, Kate,” he told her. “He knew I was in love with you.”

She blinked. “You were in love with me when Paul was alive?”

“I’ve been in love with you for years. And yeah, he knew. He would joke about it. He once told me I’d only get you over his dead body.” Fuck, he’d only just remembered that. It had been after a fundraiser. A woman had slipped her number in Marley’s pocket and Paul had asked him if he was gonna call her.

“Of course I’m not. She’s not my type,” Marley had answered.

“What is your type? You never date anybody long enough for me to figure it out?” Paul had winked. “Apart from my wife, of course. But the only way you’ll get to date her is over my dead body.”

How had he forgotten that memory? Right now it felt like he couldn’t breathe.

“I have to go,” he told Kate, as she stood there watching him, her brow wrinkled. “I’m sorry.” His voice broke. “I can’t do this.”

“Can’t do what?” she asked, sounding so confused it hurt to hear it.

“Us. This.” He shook his head. “I have to go.”

And then he ran down the driveway, climbed into his truck, and drove away before she could see him fall apart in a way that could never be put back together again.

Chapter

Twenty-Nine

“A fucking grill.”Shana shook her head. “That’s why he split up with you? The mother fucker. And that’s the last you heard from him?”

“He hasn’t messaged me today.” Kate and Shana were behind the desk at the library. Ethan was in Kate’s office, behind the closed door, watching a movie on his iPad. And Addy was rearranging the cardboard books in the baby section. The library was due to open in ten minutes. And because it was summer vacation they had a full program running.

“Haveyoumessaged him?” Shana said, her brows furrowed as she leaned on the counter. “I don’t get this. That man has it hot for you. Like boiling hot. Why is he acting like such an idiot?”

---